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OivedElokim-I’ll never give up
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TOPIC: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 33681 Views

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 05 Apr 2022 17:07 #379636

  • oivedelokim
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Hashem Help Me wrote on 04 Apr 2022 11:31:
How are you celebrating the great accomplishment of 30 days of no pornography?

Probably gonna get some sushi.
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 05 Apr 2022 17:25 #379640

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Spoke to a mentor from the site two days ago and we made a game plan for avoiding masturbation. It's basically just frequent accountability-daily texts, as well as reaching out for support when feeling weak.

I had a close call today. Saw a pretty woman at my place of work and was possessed by a strong urge to masturbate. Just thinking about it now is bringing it back to me. (As I'm typing this I'm afraid that I'll fall right after I post this. But Bez"h I will not). I was very close to going to the bathroom and masturbating but I got a hold on myself, used the distraction technique to get over it. I'm very proud of my small victory, but I know that a lifetime of purity involves an almost infinite amount of such agonizing battles...
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 05 Apr 2022 20:56 #379650

  • vehkam
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As you work on this you will find that there will be battles but they will not all be agonizing.
Some of them will actually be thrilling when you realize how Far you have come and what you have accomplished
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 05 Apr 2022 22:50 #379660

  • oivedelokim
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Went out for sushi (with a GYE buddy...) Looking forward to doing this again in 30 days.
Not in the best of moods today, partially due to certain events in my life but probably also due to sleep deprivation. Been going to bed very late and waking up relatively early recently. Getting out of bed is an entirely different story...
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 05 Apr 2022 23:18 #379664

  • hakolhevel
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OivedElokim wrote on 05 Apr 2022 17:01:

Hakolhevel wrote on 04 Apr 2022 02:15:

OivedElokim wrote on 03 Apr 2022 17:23:
I'm coming off of a few hectic, emotionally turbulent days. BH I'm on my third clean day, largely due to the fact that I didn't have the time or "headspace" to masturbate. I thought I would use masturbation to self-medicate the intense emotions that I'm going through but so far I haven't. 

Don't really have a long-term plan on how to stay clean from masturbation. All my "plans" (calling partners, distracting myself, externalizing the urge) aren't worth the paper they're written on, or in this case-the screen they're typed on. Once the urge comes I totally lose control. I suppose that can be changed, though I don't know precisely how.

But BH I am a full month clean from porn, and I pray that I'll continue to have success in that area and that this success should spill over into my other struggles.

Hiw did you find F2F did it help you at all?

F2F was helpful when I was doing it. I stopped for a pretty silly reason and I should probably get back at it.

The reason I ask is, the first section of f2f is about motivation.  It makes the point t that if motivation  is lacking, all your plans will go.out the window.

So you can have the best tools in your toolbox, even shiny new ones that Menachem gye was talking about, but if your motivation is lacking, you will eventually  seek you pleasure and nit your tool.

In other words, if porn or masturbation  is still more precious to you than staying clean, you can build many fences and taphsics.... eventually they will all fail.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 06 Apr 2022 02:31 #379671

  • oivedelokim
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Yeah I need to go back and do that first lesson again. At the time I think it helped with my motivation but it hasn't lasted. 
Just had a close call in the shower, "started the process" and then pulled back because I didn't want to dissapoint my mentor or lose my streak. So that's your proof that counting streaks is sometimes helpful...
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 06 Apr 2022 15:45 #379699

Hakolhevel wrote on 05 Apr 2022 23:18:
In other words, if porn or masturbation  is still more precious to you than staying clean, you can build many fences and taphsics.... eventually they will all fail.

That's actually really relatable and so factual. I took a vow to take vows whenever I got an urge, for a few days and so long as I remembered the vow, but when I got the urges I took very silly vows like to wait one minute before looking at anything inappropriate by using any unfiltered devices that I came across, instead of doing the appropriate thing which was to take a vow to not use the device at least until the next day and I really could've done this also. I have no idea how to change the priorities though or get that motivation, I'd appreciate it if you could give any tips here or on a separate thread since this thread isn't mine. I'll also look into the first lesson on Flight to Freedom again.
FOR FREE FILTERS AND ACCOUNTABILITY SOLUTIONS CLICK HERE
(Includes WebChaver/CovenantEyes, Microsoft Family Safety, and Apple
Screentime and a how-to guide to set them up without loopholes)  

Even if you already have a filter, these are necessary additions because
they fix many loopholes that exist with paid filters (speaking from firsthand
experience) and because they add priceless accountability features.

If you have trouble filtering a shared device, then see the post for how
to get these filters discreetly, without any other users' knowledge whatsoever
and without the filters affecting the other users of the device at all.
Last Edit: 06 Apr 2022 15:48 by To Yosef Hatzaddik.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 06 Apr 2022 17:42 #379707

  • wilnevergiveup
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OivedElokim wrote on 06 Apr 2022 02:31:
Yeah I need to go back and do that first lesson again. At the time I think it helped with my motivation but it hasn't lasted. 
Just had a close call in the shower, "started the process" and then pulled back because I didn't want to dissapoint my mentor or lose my streak. So that's your proof that counting streaks is sometimes helpful...

Btw, they just redid the motivation chapter and I think the new version is amazing.
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 06 Apr 2022 19:13 #379710

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Day # 6
Had a couple of close calls today, but I made it out clean so far.
הלואי ווייטער, בעז"ה
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 07 Apr 2022 03:01 #379728

  • hakolhevel
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wilnevergiveup wrote on 06 Apr 2022 17:42:

OivedElokim wrote on 06 Apr 2022 02:31:
Yeah I need to go back and do that first lesson again. At the time I think it helped with my motivation but it hasn't lasted. 
Just had a close call in the shower, "started the process" and then pulled back because I didn't want to dissapoint my mentor or lose my streak. So that's your proof that counting streaks is sometimes helpful...

Btw, they just redid the motivation chapter and I think the new version is amazing.

That's good, honestly I did not find the original chapter helpful at building  motivation.  It did do a good job at making me realize how important motivation is. I hope the new version does well in both areas.

To those asking what motivates me, honestly im clean for just 40 something days which isnt mucb, so i do t consider myself a guru. If you want you can pm me.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 08 Apr 2022 04:35 #379765

  • oivedelokim
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For the first time in months, I passed the 5 day mark two days ago. I'm currently on day 7 and I'm very happy and grateful that I made it this far. 
It's really hard, doesn't seem to be getting easier, and there are numerous small battles that take place on a daily basis, many of them very close calls. I think that also says something about the state of my motivation, something that could definitely use some help.
What's been working for me is daily accountability, and I plan to continue with that.
Thanks for reading.
All the best!
OivedElokim
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 08 Apr 2022 06:53 #379766

Amazing to hear, keep it up!

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 12 Apr 2022 00:33 #379877

  • oivedelokim
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Long story short, I fell on Thursday. I wasn't very motivated and I saw something that turned me on. Because I lost my momentum, I've masturbated every day since and am now ready to hit the reset button.

I'm very proud of my 6 and a half clean days, which in the last few months I deemed impossible. 

My plan going forward is frequent accountability (daily to my mentor, as well as here-as often as possible), and hopefully I'll find the strength within to use my plan (calling partners/distraction) when things get tough.
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 12 Apr 2022 06:13 #379896

Hi Oived, 

That sounds like a good plan. Daily accountability with a partner can make a big impact. Wishing you lots of success!

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 12 Apr 2022 13:27 #379901

  • hakolhevel
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OivedElokim wrote on 12 Apr 2022 00:33:
Long story short, I fell on Thursday. I wasn't very motivated and I saw something that turned me on. Because I lost my momentum, I've masturbated every day since and am now ready to hit the reset button.

I'm very proud of my 6 and a half clean days, which in the last few months I deemed impossible. 

My plan going forward is frequent accountability (daily to my mentor, as well as here-as often as possible), and hopefully I'll find the strength within to use my plan (calling partners/distraction) when things get tough.

You said your issue was motivation, then your plan calls for more accountability and hoping you will find the strength within to follow thru. Something doesn't make sense to me.

If your issue is motivation, then start there.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection
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