Sorry to hear

There's a whole book of strategies. Give us a clue if you can by answering these questions
What have you tried

Why do you think those things haven't worked

Is there something you think might help you, but you are avoiding (I do that alot)

Was there a device involved and can it be ffiltered

How do you feel after you fall

Why do you feel you dont want to fall again

Seems like it’s time to read through the handbook again...

Hakolhevel wrote on 24 Feb 2021 15:29:

שאלת חכם חצי תשובה 

Dear OE,
Its hard. Its tough. Falling was not on your agenda. Those thoughts and images are still lingering in your mind. The fight is now tougher than ever, but you will prevail. You will get over it and reach 90+ days IYH very soon.
I would like to give you one tip. Know your triggers. Its purim coming up. I dont know where you live, but there may be some people that are extremely machmir on dressing up when it can go over board (not tznius). Some may drink and could also make them fall. 
Please everyone know where you are going. PLan in advance what you will do.
You may go to shul and after the fast there could be a mix of men and women (not covid friendly). Guys I beg you. Plan, strategize and come up with a plan of what you will do. What happens if a women comes up to you and wants to chat.
Stay sober, stay strong, just as the yidden prevailed then we can do the same.
Just to leave you all off with something special.

****Purim is greater than maatan torah! What you may ask? You must be crazy, purim greater than maatan torah? the answer is yes. On purim they yidden accepted asher hachailu laasos, like it says in the megillah. During maatan torah hashem was kofoh alayhem har k'giggis. Hashem said if you dont accept my torah I am going to make the world like the way it was before the world was created. The yidden then did not have a choice even though they said naseh v'nishma. During the gezairah from haman, the yidden renewed their bond with Hashem. The accepted the torah and the mitzvos willingly and happily.

So guys, like Reb DavidT wrote on his forum, its a time to make kabolas hatorah and the kabolas ol malchus shamayim. let us all unite as one. We are all together in this. Let us daven and storm the heavens for ourselves, our family, GYE family and for all of achainu bais yisroel.

May we emerge strong from this year purim stronger than ever. Through this may we be zoche to the coming of the righteous moshiach NOW!!!!

​***this dvar torah is an excerpt from the maamar that the Lubvitcher Rebbe said on on parshas tzaveh 5741 and was the last maamer (discourse) that he looked over and distributed it on purim katan 5752.

I would really like to eat now.
There’s good food all over.
It smells great.
But I won’t eat cause I’m a Jew that fasts on the days we are supposed to.

I hope to one day adapt that view in regards to acting out sexually.

Bro frrrrr. I’m famished

In the Purim Mamer of 5713 the Lubavitcher Rebbe explains a profound idea regarding the choice a Jew makes when he chooses Hashem.

To put it briefly: We don’t choose Hashem cause we are forced to, either by intellectual or emotional reasons. We choose Hashem because that is what we identify with at our core, and it’s impossible to choose otherwise. That means that the essence of בחירה is not choice, but rather an expression of identity.

The relevance to Purim is that the Jews in that time brought this out in themselves through their מסירות נפש which in turn caused Hashem to reciprocate and choose them, thereby nullifying the גזרת המן.

-ד״ה על כן קראו תשי״ג, ספר המאמרים מלוקט ה׳, הערה 69

In our language: We don’t choose purity only because it’s not good-toxic, in fact- for us to act out, although in the beginning that is the only possible motivation. We ultimately choose purity because essentially we are pure and holy.

ולהחליפם באומה אחרת איני יכול

Day four.

Had a very nice Purim and Shabbos. 

Had a few moments when I felt weak a susceptible to a fall. 

But I overcame.

And here I am, clean.

I don’t remember who’s line this is, but it saved me: “The cleaner is stay, the cleaner I stay”.

Just spent an hour on the phone with a GYE friend. Shared some post-Purim inspiration with each other.
Going to bed now.
Clean.
Planning on a clean day tomorrow.
So help me G-d.

OivedElokim wrote on 28 Feb 2021 02:03:


Wow! You're an inspiration! I hope you're celebrating and appreciating the greatness of what you accomplished! (Don't just wait for 90 days lol. Anyway overcoming the struggle is more valuable that any number of clean days if they would be without challenge.)


It's in @Starting's signature from AlexEliezer. (On a side note, some people here have some interesting and inspiring signatures. They are definitely worth reading.)

I just went for a run now.
I feel great.
Gotta make it a regular habit.
It always helps...

Day five.

Traveled today. Caught myself lusting once or twice. Otherwise I’m clean.

Running is great. Plus it's a great time to speak to peole

Day six

Didnt get much sleep last night.
Thats not great.

Otherwise having a productive day. Learned a lot. Gonna go write down some Tosafos now.

I stay clean primarily by staying busy. And BH today I’m quite busy...
Maybe I’ll go for a short run today.

Upward and onward