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Keeping Accountability

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Keeping Accountability 11227 Views

Re: Keeping Accountability 06 Apr 2021 17:59 #366422

happyyid OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 330 Karma: 18	I hear. Nice. Thank you!
	Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com My thread

Re: Keeping Accountability 06 Apr 2021 18:16 #366424

happyyid OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 330 Karma: 18	Btw I am referring to one of the women that sends to the same babysitter; wasn't talking about the babysitter herself (she's not too pretty lol)....but what you quoted could apply here too.
	Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com My thread

Re: Keeping Accountability 06 Apr 2021 20:45 #366433

lou
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Karma: 30

HappyYid wrote on 06 Apr 2021 15:14:

Ok so here's my issue now,
Where I send my kid for babysitting there are others that send as well...other women in fact. One of them became my lusting object.
Its really hard because I see her every day and sometimes twice (drop-off and pickup).
Until now I'll be honest, I would look at her (with only a glance of course without her noticing) fantasize, and 'enjoy' it. I don't think I ever acted out on those thoughts, but seriously that's not the point.
I don't want to think about her. Its disgusting. Its not right to my wife.
Now its turning summerish and I'm afraid that she will dress more catchy...
I'm going to work on not looking at anything from when I get into the building till I get out...
Its going to be hard but I'm going to try.
I'll start that today when I go to pickup.
Just posting this because when I put it out it makes it easier for me to work on.

Thanks for listening
HappyYid

I assume you are talking about a baby that is too little to realize what you are doing. However,sometimes what has worked for me is to picture my child actually realizing what I am doing. That for me is a total turnoff as many of us would be devastated if our kids knew about our behaviors in this area.
As a side note, as you are in Lakewood (based on previous posts) chances are the actual dress code of the woman probably won't change all that much for the summer. More than likely,it is our mindset that changes when the weather gets warmer. That is something that we can work on...
All that being said, I totally get this Nisayon.
Hatzlocha!

Re: Keeping Accountability 06 Apr 2021 21:46 #366436

happyyid
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Karma: 18

Lou wrote on 06 Apr 2021 20:45:

Yeah it's a baby; thanks for the idea. I'll keep that in mind.

As a side note, as you are in Lakewood (based on previous posts) chances are the actual dress code of the woman probably won't change all that much for the summer. More than likely,it is our mindset that changes when the weather gets warmer. That is something that we can work on...
All that being said, I totally get this Nisayon.
Hatzlocha!

For me even the change of the color tights could turn me on quicker, but you're right, it's the mindset too, which I can work on.

Thanks

Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Keeping Accountability 07 Apr 2021 02:22 #366447

lou OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 430 Karma: 30	As a side note, as you are in Lakewood (based on previous posts) Hi, just to clarify, i actually have no idea where you live as i actually confused you with someone else for a minute!

Re: Keeping Accountability 09 Apr 2021 00:13 #366557

happyyid OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 330 Karma: 18	Day 67!! Bh I was really good with watching my eyes while dropping and picking up my kid by the babysitter... The big urges I've had over the last week, died down very much BH. HappyYid
	Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com My thread

Re: Keeping Accountability 12 Apr 2021 03:41 #366698

happyyid OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 330 Karma: 18	70 days clean! It feels good when a busy day passes and therefore was no time to even think about acting out...you feel like you just got a free day Thank you Hashem! Good night
	Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com My thread

Re: Keeping Accountability 12 Apr 2021 03:57 #366699

zedj Current streak: 14 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 627 Karma: 46	MAZEL TOV! Keep living one day at a time!
	One who has given up hope is without a G‑d. One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Keeping Accountability 14 Apr 2021 00:31 #366796

happyyid
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Posts: 330
Karma: 18

72!
It's amazing because till recently I didn't think it was so doable for me to not lust after my sisters in law, but honestly now I'm really better than I used to be!
I'm not perfect. But definitely made big progress in that.
I feel the way I did it was really to not think about it the whole day that I have to stop work on it, (like HHM told me a number of times), just went on with my regular life and slowly worked on viewing them as human beings and not objects.
I can't figure out a different method that did it.

But on another note, today out of nowhere I actually got a huge urge to act out.
But I didn't!
It wasn't easy, I just said 'no' to the yh and got busy with something else.

Great to have friends to share this with!
HappyYid

Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Keeping Accountability 14 Apr 2021 04:57 #366808

DeletedUser825 Current streak: 109 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 141 Karma: 21	Such an inspiration 72 days seems so far off... but the live updates make it seem doable. Keep up this avodas hakadosh of not just resisting urges, but helping others to resist as well. Shkoyach my friend!
	My thread: Let's get this party started Who the heck is Benoni? Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow. -Gerald Vaughan

Re: Keeping Accountability 15 Apr 2021 16:43 #366887

happyyid OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 330 Karma: 18	Posting to get me away from a big urge. EDIT: I posted the above 25 min ago, and then I was fine, so I deleted the post, but now I realized that I know that I get chizuk when seeing posts like that, so others maybe too, so I posted it again. But I'm good now bh
	Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com My thread

Re: Keeping Accountability 18 Apr 2021 12:12 #367000

happyyid OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 330 Karma: 18	76! I've had strong urges over the last two days... Trying hard. Especially hard since I wasn't intimate with my wife for 2 and half weeks for whatever reason. Hanging in there. HappyYid
	Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com My thread

Re: Keeping Accountability 18 Apr 2021 13:33 #367008

zedj Current streak: 14 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 627 Karma: 46	Keep strong! remember it's just an urge...urges go away eventually. Keep us updated!
	One who has given up hope is without a G‑d. One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Keeping Accountability 18 Apr 2021 14:49 #367013

EvedHashem1836
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HappyYid wrote on 18 Apr 2021 12:12:

76!
I've had strong urges over the last two days...
Trying hard.
Especially hard since I wasn't intimate with my wife for 2 and half weeks for whatever reason.
Hanging in there.

HappyYid

I've had very strong urges over the last few days as well - will push through in your zechus to push through too

Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled - if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!

My thread:
Aiming to be better

Feel free to contact me at evedhashem1836@gmail.com

Re: Keeping Accountability 18 Apr 2021 17:30 #367020

happyyid
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Posts: 330
Karma: 18

EvedHashem1836 wrote on 18 Apr 2021 14:49:

HappyYid wrote on 18 Apr 2021 12:12:

76!
I've had strong urges over the last two days...
Trying hard.
Especially hard since I wasn't intimate with my wife for 2 and half weeks for whatever reason.
Hanging in there.

HappyYid

I've had very strong urges over the last few days as well - will push through in your zechus to push through too

Let's do this together.
In 14 days we'll celebrate together!
We can do it!!

Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread