86!
Had some urges here and there...but bh everything is ok

HappyYid

Just a thought,
As mentioned in earlier posts, part of what I struggle/d with is lusting after my sister in laws...
Now one of them is in middle of dating and it's not going too well, things aren't working out the greatest...she needs a little Chizuk... So I thought that now is a good time for me to really work on myself in this area, and view her as a real person and sincerely daven for her that everything should work out well.
Maybe in that zchus Hashem will grant her an easy dating and all will work out well.

Good night
HappyYid

HappyYid wrote on 29 Apr 2021 03:02:


That sounds like a beautiful idea. Really a way to come around from where you were before.
Just make sure you don't offer to meet with them to discuss and give your advice in person!

88!

Stay tuned for motzai Shabbos!
Me and evedhashem1836 are celebrating together!

90!!

So bh I made it.
Now, we all know that 90 isn't a switch; like ok now sit back and relax... No, the yh is still there. 
I feel like the significance of 90 is mainly the hype that GYE made, in essence they could have made it at day 80 or 100, I don't feel like now it is a huge step. I feel that every couple of days I became more used to not having to act out, so 90 is just a high number. 
Unfortunately look at how many people have fallen after 90...
So I'm definitely not got to relax now.
I'm still fighting.

For those that want to know how I did it; well for me it was posting and staying connected- that's what really did it. If you noticed I didn't masturbate once since I started posting, and for the record I'm at 1041 cumulative days. That means that I was falling constantly over the past 3-4 years. So what changed...
Because when you are just one of the viewers of the threads without getting involved, it's much easier to hit the 'I had a fall' button, because seriously who cares, nobody knows...
But when you post and feel like people know you here, it won't be as easy to say that you fell.
So for all those out there that are reading this and never post; POST! POST! don't be scared! Besides for helping yourself, it gives Chizuk to others as well. So it's a win win situation.
I remember before I posted I was nervous too, because I thought people might know who I am, it doesn't feel comfortable putting yourself onto a public forum, but honestly do you really think people will figure out who you are?? There is a whole world out there that you could be from, I highly doubt anyone will figure you out. 

Thank you Hashem for sending GYE to save klal Yisroel!

Thank you everyone for being here.

HappyYid

As I posted in the Lchaim thread...
A huge Mazal tov to you. This is a great accomplishment. Keep up the great work. You are an inspiration to all of us

Mazel tov!! Keep inspiring the chevra. And yes, life continues with all its urges etc after 90..., but now you know that it is b'ezras Hashem possible to say No! and stay clean...

I almost fell.
Just posting for accountability

HappyYid wrote on 06 May 2021 13:21:

Great. Let me hold you accountable. Don't just move on a little halfheartedly and then keep edging closer and closer till....fail...like I recently did. Psych yourself up and reinvigorate your spirits and get back ON TOP of your game. 

Life is only lived when one lives it, not by one being led by it. Make your life your very own.

Grant400 wrote on 06 May 2021 13:45:

You're right.
Thanks for the Chizuk. And accountability!

HappyYid wrote on 06 May 2021 13:21:

I feel you I was in a similar spot a few days ago

Would you really leave me to keep the streak going by myself without you??

How you doing Mr. HappyYid?

Grant400 wrote on 07 May 2021 19:25:

Wonderful!
(I had an unfiltered device for a short time; but now it's blocked...)
Thanks for checking in.

My wife found out that I'm active on here, she wanted to know why, she thought that I don't have the problem anymore (of masturbating; she doesn't know anything about porn)... 
I had to explain to her that it's never over...
She said she doesn't want me to be here because 'you're not like them'. I told her that I'm here just to stay connected and I told her a bunch of דברי חיבה. 
Bh it's easy for me to talk her out of things, she originally said she wanted to see everything I wrote  but I was able to switch the topic and just said that it's ok don't worry. Luckily she took that as an answer.
What bothered her most was that I kept a secret from her. Bh I was able to tell her that I'm doing ok.
Imagine if she would've found out at day 2.

So I might not be here as often...

HappyYid

HappyYid wrote on 10 May 2021 13:37:

Welcome to my life.
How did she find out?
Personally, I hide it from her the same way I hid the porn.
Is this the best advice for an honest relationship? No.
Neither is watching porn and masturbating behind her back.
I'm trying for the lesser of the evils.