Gentlemen, I am on day 19. But in last few days I have been actively laying the groundwork for acting out. Preparing excuses for "accidentally" looking where I shouldn't.. telling myself I have earned a smutty treat ("reaching 18 days is good enough".. etc),  and so forth.

For me, 19 days is a rare achievement. But now the euphoria has worn off.  My home life is just the same.  I realise this is self sabotage but anyway. Thanks everyone for any loving slaps across the face you can give me right now!

y

5770 wrote on 06 Dec 2020 12:42:

Perhaps a phone call will help?

Thx for the offer! Maybe in the future. Kinda appreciate the anonymity of this forum right now.

5770 wrote on 06 Dec 2020 12:42:

18 days is good enough for who?? For hashem or for yourself???  Will you feel better after you will look now on x, y, or z. will you be fulfilled?! You were not last time, will this time be different??... so why bother??? Its a painful vicious cycle, please dont forget how you felt 2 and a half weeks ago....
Maybe find something constructive to do, something that will actually make you happier, it helps a ton in this fight.

5770 wrote on 06 Dec 2020 12:42:

What about your own life? You yourself, do you feel the same? Nobody expects a miraculous change in your family life after 18 days. How many years must be undone? But you can have an immediate positive effect on your own life. Improve your quality of living and self esteem. Live with discipline and honor. With willpower and control. Don't let yourself be swindled. Please. Remind yourself of the real reasons you stopped or should stop and stay strong. Not for someone else, for you. Not for tomorrow, for today.

the question is, do you want to be in control of your own life or do you want some unwanted force to be controlling you?
your life is very different when you call the shots to when another 'thing' does
good luck
jack

5770 wrote on 06 Dec 2020 16:03:

Not with me  !

I mean with someone who can actually help like HHM or maybe even the big bad Dov?

It seems like you've been at this for a ling time already, You might have to try something a little different if you want a different outcome, maybe something a little more drastic, something that isn't the most comfortable.

I’ll reiterate that, though uncomfortable for the first 3-5 seconds, speaking on the phone changed everything for me.

Hatzlocha!

Thank you for the uplift. Means a great deal to me to hear from you guys.   I am not singling out anyone's wisdom but this struck home:

" Live with discipline and honor. With willpower and control. Don't let yourself be swindled. "

What a bunch of true Tzaddikim!

BTW I am keeping myself usefully busy right now, all good, clean and above board - working that list of age-old jobs around the house

Me too, had i never spoken to anyone (even before i found out about gye),
I wouldn't be as happy as i am today.

Never forget THE PAIN OF NOT GIVING IN IS SO MUCH SMALLER THAN THE PAIN AFTER GIVING IN.
Wuth admiration, 
excellence

yep, yeah I need to keep remembering to remember that! The YH tells me the opposite, says it doesnt matter and that it's only a minor thing to act out with only minor consequnces... he assumes I have a short memory!

Day 20 yay!

Hey 5770! 
what up? How are you doing?

Aright @5770, see ya in 19 years (5800 btw)...

It was nice knowing you, I love when guys show up here and disappear off the face of the earth. It really helps for my development of long term commitment in relationships in general. One of the main reasons I have such a hard time making friends is because I've been burned too many times so you running away from here as if someone is chasing you with a gun is really helping...

Seriously! What the heck happened to you? You promised!!! For G-d's sake (and your own) get back here.

I am sick and tired of guys complaining that nothing is working or they are not seeing any progress when they book city after one stupid fall.

I wish I would have your email address, oh, I would storm that thing until I got a response out of you.

Please, please, please grace us with your presence. Please bring your light to GYE. (Okay, I asked nicely)

wilnevergiveup wrote on 28 Dec 2020 14:33:

If you PM him, it goes to his email account. 

I totally understand you. I wrote up these long thought out responses to so many people, who turned out to be one time posters. I regretted the effort and time. But I'm learning how to somewhat read if a guy is here for the long haul, or just for a moment of hisorerus, and as soon as he realizes he still must work hard, and theres no GYE magic, he runs like the devil. 

Some people will never be ready for the effort it takes. GYE doesn't make it any easier, it just makes it possible. 

I'm not rreferring to 5770, he's a great guy! I just used this thread toto vent, once the topic was brought up.