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Starting again!!!
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Starting again!!! 3447 Views

Re: Starting again!!! 13 Nov 2020 19:23 #357396

  • YeshivaGuy
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I think I relate to everything u just wrote...

Feel free to let me know ( here or in pm) if/how I can be of assistance
Last Edit: 13 Nov 2020 19:29 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Starting again!!! 14 Nov 2020 18:59 #357398

  • excellence
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It was probably the hardest thing i ever did in my life to speak to someone face to face, but you know what? not only i don't regret it, but i admire myself for it and gained for life.
At the time i was a young yeshiva bochur, offically top of the range, yet i had to open up to save myself.
Feel free to pm me anytime even just for some chizuk.
I guarantee you, you can get to your goals. Its not my promise, it's Chazals! your amazing and can do it like many others.
With admiration at your determination,
excellence
"The pain after giving in is so much greater than the pain of not giving in"
You may find some Chizuk here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/361746-Striving-for-Excellence

A must read: 

www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/The%20First%20Day%20of%20the%20Rest%20of%20My%20Life.pdf

Re: Starting again!!! 15 Nov 2020 04:44 #357404

  • YeshivaGuy
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How was/is?

Re: Starting again!!! 15 Nov 2020 05:43 #357406

  • OivedElokim
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I fell again Friday night. Had a tough shabbos. I could probably win if I wanted to fight ..,
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
- Arthur Ashe
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Last Edit: 15 Nov 2020 05:46 by OivedElokim.

Re: Starting again!!! 15 Nov 2020 06:43 #357407

  • excellence
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You, DO want to win, otherwise you wouldn't be here. what you meant is that you think that you don't really want to win, which is not true.
Secondly just battling the struggle itself is a form of winning. Winning does not mean the final blow. that's actually not even up to us. we need to battle, HASHEM decides on the final blow.
thirdly, yes, Shabbos was and still is my hardest day of the week, I really relate to shabbos struggles!
You really can do it. 
Happy to work with you.
love excellence.
"The pain after giving in is so much greater than the pain of not giving in"
You may find some Chizuk here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/361746-Striving-for-Excellence

A must read: 

www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/The%20First%20Day%20of%20the%20Rest%20of%20My%20Life.pdf

Re: Starting again!!! 15 Nov 2020 17:48 #357415

  • OivedElokim
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Ok. That’s it. I fell last night again, this time with porn as well.

I’m officially done with this. No more falling. It’s not gonna be an option, no matter the circumstances.

I can’t afford to use unfiltered devices in private.
I can’t afford to stay in my rut, to stew in feelings of despair and self pity.
I have a life to live, and I have a boss who demands that I serve him with joy, constantly. I don’t have time for beating myself up and perpetuating this vicious cycle of self loathing and self destructive habits.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
- Arthur Ashe
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Re: Starting again!!! 15 Nov 2020 18:41 #357419

  • wilnevergiveup
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What's the plan?
Check out My thread

Daily Dose of Clarity

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Starting again!!! 15 Nov 2020 20:45 #357423

  • excellence
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OivedElokim wrote on 15 Nov 2020 17:48:
Ok. That’s it. I fell last night again, this time with porn as well.

I’m officially done with this. No more falling. It’s not gonna be an option, no matter the circumstances.

I can’t afford to use unfiltered devices in private.
I can’t afford to stay in my rut, to stew in feelings of despair and self pity.
I have a life to live, and I have a boss who demands that I serve him with joy, constantly. I don’t have time for beating myself up and perpetuating this vicious cycle of self loathing and self destructive habits.

Well if thats the case you've defiantly come to the right place. I am blown over by the proffesnalism here, the recourses down to the last detail. literally blown over how GYE are facing this enemy head on. Looking forward to hearing from you more and watching you /us as we all grow here.
​A good start is the threads on Smart recovery especially the ones from menachem gye. guardyoureyes.com/forum/54-SMART-Recovery also check out some vids on here.  gye.vids.io/
With tremendous Hatzlocho
"The pain after giving in is so much greater than the pain of not giving in"
You may find some Chizuk here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/361746-Striving-for-Excellence

A must read: 

www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/The%20First%20Day%20of%20the%20Rest%20of%20My%20Life.pdf

Re: Starting again!!! 15 Nov 2020 21:41 #357426

  • OivedElokim
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wilnevergiveup wrote on 15 Nov 2020 18:41:
What's the plan?

I’m going to speak to someone on the phone tonight to try to formulate a plan.
Will try to keep you posted.

To all those who reached out either on the forums or by PM to offer support-I really appreciate it, it means a lot. May HaShem reward your concern with my struggle by helping you overcome yours.

I’ll sign off with this quote that I recently saw that really expressed the fighting spirit of GYE:

“Fight on, my men…

I am wounded but not slain.

I will lay me down for to bleed awhile,

Then I’ll rise and fight again.”

-Scottish ballad

For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
- Arthur Ashe
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Last Edit: 15 Nov 2020 21:48 by OivedElokim.

Re: Starting again!!! 17 Nov 2020 20:55 #357484

  • Grant400
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OivedElokim wrote on 15 Nov 2020 21:41:

wilnevergiveup wrote on 15 Nov 2020 18:41:
What's the plan?

I’m going to speak to someone on the phone tonight to try to formulate a plan.
Will try to keep you posted.

To all those who reached out either on the forums or by PM to offer support-I really appreciate it, it means a lot. May HaShem reward your concern with my struggle by helping you overcome yours.

I’ll sign off with this quote that I recently saw that really expressed the fighting spirit of GYE:

“Fight on, my men…

I am wounded but not slain.

I will lay me down for to bleed awhile,

Then I’ll rise and fight again.”

-Scottish ballad



Update my friend? 
I lost a 6 month streak. I will get back there. Not if, but when. When? Now.

l can be reached at: Grant.400@yahoo.com

Re: Starting again!!! 29 Nov 2020 03:28 #357881

  • OivedElokim
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Hey there.
I’m out of yeshiva for a couple days for a simcha. I’m 13 days clean. I am avoiding unfiltered devices like the plague. I really appreciate the support and concern from our friends here. I hope to continue to share good news with all of you. A gut voch!
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
- Arthur Ashe
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Re: Starting again!!! 29 Nov 2020 03:42 #357883

  • Hashem Help Me
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Great to hear you are bh doing well. Stay away from unfiltered devices as you are doing - even for kosher purposes! Hatzlocha!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Starting again!!! 29 Nov 2020 05:32 #357891

  • OivedElokim
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Just slipped. Used an unfiltered device. Bh I didn’t watch anything bad, but I’m playing with Fire. Not gonna do that again...
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
- Arthur Ashe
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Re: Starting again!!! 29 Nov 2020 06:00 #357892

  • Zedj
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Keep strong

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Starting again!!! 29 Nov 2020 06:29 #357894

  • OivedElokim
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I realize that i have work to do in terms of not wanting to fall. Most of my streaks consist of not falling, but I still find myself wishing for that sweet pleasure of porn. Is there a way for me to stop feeling nostalgia for it? That feeling usually always preceded any of my recent falls. I don’t even know if that’s should be my goal, do not want it anymore. Maybe I just need to work and my self control and safeguards, and leave it at that....
Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
- Arthur Ashe
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

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