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I can finally do this!
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: I can finally do this! 1473 Views

Re: I can finally do this! 29 Apr 2020 11:57 #348926

  • TheFighter99
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If I may make a simple suggestion. After any relapse (hopefully none will happen, but don't get down if they do), you need to up your game and include a new strategy. If you keep doing the same thing you will get the same results-I know from experience. For example, if you fell without a filter, take your device to a TAG office to get it filtered. If you already have a filter, then join the ninety day chart. If you are already on the chart, consider getting an accountability partner/mentor via GYE. contact the admin for this. There are innumerable strategies you can employ. Just keep on fighting and keep us posted
"It ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward." -Rocky Balboa    BUT ALSO
"Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.”- Narcotics Anonymous

Re: I can finally do this! 30 Apr 2020 04:17 #348967

Day 1,

Today was a big win, I finally committed to doing something that I had been avoiding for weeks. I set up heavy restrictions on my iPhone with the help of a family member, which will G-D willing help me continue to be successful. Knowing that I don't have the option to just take a quick look at destructive websites has alone helped me to combat the urge to act out.

Moving forward, I have to be careful not to let my guard down and think that the hard part is over, I have to remind myself of the constant struggle and daven to G-D in each tefilla that I should be successful in standing up to my urge. 

Something that I was thinking about yesterday. While I still had my phone totally unprotected from filth, I was davening to G-D that I beat my yetzer hara, but I had the realization that davening for help in this matter without putting up guards myself is like a tefilas shav. 

G-D helps those who help themselves, so it's time that I start helping myself so that G-D can help me. I look forward to many more successful days.

Re: I can finally do this! 30 Apr 2020 06:19 #348972

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strivingforbetter wrote on 30 Apr 2020 04:17:
Day 1,

Today was a big win, I finally committed to doing something that I had been avoiding for weeks. I set up heavy restrictions on my iPhone with the help of a family member... 
Something that I was thinking about yesterday. While I still had my phone totally unprotected from filth, I was davening to G-D that I beat my yetzer hara, but I had the realization that davening for help in this matter without putting up guards myself is like a tefilas shav. 

G-D helps those who help themselves, so it's time that I start helping myself so that G-D can help me. I look forward to many more successful days.

Way to go man
And it's important (as you hinted) even with the filter we need G-Ds help. And as you say, we are deserving of help. May G-D help us all amen
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Re: I can finally do this! 30 Apr 2020 06:19 #348973

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WOOHOO!!! KEEP ON SHINING!!!
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"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

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Re: I can finally do this! 30 Apr 2020 11:49 #348984

  • TheFighter99
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Great Job! My iphone is also filtered. Iphones have really good filtering settings available as long as they are set up correctly. Asking someone for help in setting up a filter is definitely uncomfortable, I've been there, but the way I think about it is that chazal forbade yichud with a woman, so why is the internet any different? I imagine that a great percentage of healthy males wouldn't have a shot at not falling prey to this without a filter. I actually heard that filters are a halachic requirement anyway, so a person can always just tell their filter-setter-upper that that's the reason they need the filter. Great work and keep posting!
"It ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward." -Rocky Balboa    BUT ALSO
"Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.”- Narcotics Anonymous

Re: I can finally do this! 01 May 2020 03:56 #349025

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Congratulations!!! 

This is a great step towards conquering this challenge! 

Don't expect that now everything will be easy, but you are certainly in a much better position to conquer this challenge. AS you said, keep davening that Hashem should help you, especially after you did your part!!

Re: I can finally do this! 01 May 2020 06:16 #349032

Day 2,

Relatively easy day BH, was pretty busy so that helped. On to day 3!

Re: I can finally do this! 03 May 2020 04:32 #349097

Day 4,

Very happy and feel accomplished to have gone 4 days, I feel like shabbos is a bit of a break because I don't use any devices and the temptation feels much lower BH. I've been continuing to daven for help, and I really can feel G-D's help in certain situations.

The other day I was bothered by something, but with G-D's help I found the answer. My issue was that I was feeling like I'm lacking in my yiras shamayim and emunah by needing to set up such heavy filters on my phone, and I was wondering if the filters mean I don't have yiras shamayim. The answer is in pirkei avos though! The Mishna says: אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך (Don't trust yourself until the day you die). G-D and chazal are aware that our yetzer hara can strike any time, especially when we let our guard down. When I set up a heavy filter, it's not necessarily because I lack yiras shamayim (although I definitely need to work on it), I'm protecting myself from the yetzer hara.

Let me know what you guys think

Re: I can finally do this! 03 May 2020 06:27 #349102

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Hello

I believe that having filters is in fact an action of yiras Shamayim itself , this is not a reason to look down at yourself , if you need filters to protect yourself and you don’t that would be lacking yiras Shamayim

Re: I can finally do this! 03 May 2020 12:01 #349111

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strivingforbetter wrote on 03 May 2020 04:32:

The other day I was bothered by something, but with G-D's help I found the answer. My issue was that I was feeling like I'm lacking in my yiras shamayim and emunah by needing to set up such heavy filters on my phone, and I was wondering if the filters mean I don't have yiras shamayim. The answer is in pirkei avos though! The Mishna says: אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך (Don't trust yourself until the day you die). G-D and chazal are aware that our yetzer hara can strike any time, especially when we let our guard down. When I set up a heavy filter, it's not necessarily because I lack yiras shamayim (although I definitely need to work on it), I'm protecting myself from the yetzer hara.

Let me know what you guys think

Spot on.
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Re: I can finally do this! 03 May 2020 14:42 #349120

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wilnevergiveup wrote on 03 May 2020 12:01:

strivingforbetter wrote on 03 May 2020 04:32:

The other day I was bothered by something, but with G-D's help I found the answer. My issue was that I was feeling like I'm lacking in my yiras shamayim and emunah by needing to set up such heavy filters on my phone, and I was wondering if the filters mean I don't have yiras shamayim. The answer is in pirkei avos though! The Mishna says: אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך (Don't trust yourself until the day you die). G-D and chazal are aware that our yetzer hara can strike any time, especially when we let our guard down. When I set up a heavy filter, it's not necessarily because I lack yiras shamayim (although I definitely need to work on it), I'm protecting myself from the yetzer hara.

Let me know what you guys think

Spot on.

You're batting a thousand.
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"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

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Re: I can finally do this! 04 May 2020 05:29 #349163

Day 0,

It's so much easier to talk of kedushah and saying no to the yetzer hara than it is to actually practice it. I suddenly forget all the motivation I had to refrain from these problems, and then after it's done, I suddenly remember it all again. I thought my problem was helped when I filtered my phone, but this time the problem was my computer.

I have webchaver installed, and that has been really helpful for a while. With the help of the yetzer hara, though, I managed to bypass the system. I emailed them immediately after I failed to see if there's a way to fix the problem I was able to capitalize on, hopefully they have an answer.

I just feel like this is a never-ending cycle of failing, figuring out a solution, succeeding for a few days, then failing again, etc. 

Not looking for anyone to give me a pat on the back for "even trying to beat the yetzer hara," what would really help is practical tips that have genuinely worked for you guys on how to snap out of the moment.

Please help me, Hashem

Re: I can finally do this! 04 May 2020 06:22 #349164

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Well done, every day of the struggle is a pearl in Hashem's oitzer...

Haha just joking, here's my 2 cents:

Gehinnom is gonna be full of all these evil phones and computers whose filters just didn't try hard enough!!! Darn, there's no solution really! Porn's our solution! And for me it's been the most reliable working solution to issues in my life. For me, I go crazy with filters and passwords and accountability and as soon as I find (after desperately searching for) a filter, I start to ramp up the insanity as I toxify my mind, hide in the bathroom etc.

What's practical advice? KNOW that there's a loophole in everything and don't be surprised that you found it. Expect it and know how to deal with it.
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


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Re: I can finally do this! 05 May 2020 04:44 #349204

Day 0,

I don't even know what to write anymore. In a really bad place and don't know how to get out.

Re: I can finally do this! 05 May 2020 08:02 #349207

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Sorry bro.
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
My Thread
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