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Once and for all
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Once and for all 5366 Views

Once and for all 09 Jul 2019 12:21 #342174

  • Onceandforall
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Hi everyone. I posted on the welcome and introduced myself. I was given advice to post regularly and that was always my plan so here goes- hope to post morning on way to work and evening before I get home. 

My day day started well. I went to shachris and learned with chavrusa (usually not a problem, but sometimes I sleep in). Working in nyc in the summer is so hard. So much temptation to look at, how do you just keep your head down and try not to look??

This day is going to be great and thanks for joining me in my journey to 90 days+ 

Re: Once and for all 09 Jul 2019 22:49 #342191

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It was a good day today. I was careful not to look as I walked and commuted to work. Didn’t have many thoughts except a little but it was brief. 

I will be home soon and I need to make sure to keep busy and I will go work out and learn and eat dinner and read. Maybe make some phone calls. Otherwise it should be a good night - one day at a time. 

Hope everyone one else has koach tonight too 

Re: Once and for all 10 Jul 2019 01:32 #342198

Come up with an option to do/distract yourself at that time of temptation.
Such as a thought on shemiras enayim that you can have “ready” to remind yourself.  
Or try putting in headphones, and listening to either music, a shiur, or a podcast/speech. 
It doesn’t need to be a major distraction, the point is I know there is temptation in front of me and instead I will ....
good luck

Re: Once and for all 10 Jul 2019 10:42 #342205

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A good distraction can also be "Hashem, please help me!"
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


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Re: Once and for all 10 Jul 2019 12:55 #342208

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Thanks for the tips!
day 2

it was a good night I kept busy and wasn’t bored so it made things easier and exercise is really motivating not just for this but always ends up making you feel good (even if strenuous). Another day ahead- it should be good. I have been learning a lot about the physical grounds I walk on as I try to make that what I look at as I walk around lol. 

Wishig everyone a great day and HaShem’s help!

Re: Once and for all 11 Jul 2019 00:30 #342212

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Thankfully a pretty easy day and no real problems so far especially because work went late and only getting back now. I will have the same plan to learn and do some errands so that I keep busy. I like having a game plan for every night so I know what I’m headed into before hand and don’t get stuck with nothing to do and head wonders then. 

A good night to all fellow GYErs and HaShem help all of us! tomorrow morning will be another day in the books.  

Re: Once and for all 11 Jul 2019 13:10 #342223

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Day 3

BH still doing well. It’s easier in the beginning with the confidence and inspiration. I think it gets harder as the days/week pile up (iy”h). 

Not watchijg movies/tv really helps. Does anyone know if you can ever watch something again- or is it forever something I need to give up to stay clean? 

wishing you all a great day 

Re: Once and for all 11 Jul 2019 13:42 #342225

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I find it very counterproductive because we are actively watching beautiful Hollywood women at minimum all the way to what is probably considered porn-doesnt seem like someone with these issues can afford...
Hatzlacha!

Re: Once and for all 12 Jul 2019 14:08 #342240

  • Onceandforall
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I definitely agree with that - it’s just a very hard thing to break when such a big part of your life. But I think it’s a must especially since to stay clean is the highest priority for me so if that’s part of it then I got to do it.

Re: Once and for all 12 Jul 2019 14:14 #342241

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Day 4

last night was very busy so I missed posting, but BH I still had a good night. This morning was a little bit of a struggle and I feel that if not for Gye and throwing myself into posting and reading a lot - then I would’ve fell. So that was great. 

Today WILL be great - but I’m really nervous about the weekend. Always the hardest for me, just going to try and have a game plan and keep busy. Also still need to sit down and come up with a good taphsic plan- I want to implement it next week.

Re: Once and for all 14 Jul 2019 04:35 #342256

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Hi Once 
i completely relate to the weekend struggle.  Sundays are often the hardest for me. What I've found somewhat helpful is having a concrete schedule planned out in advance, sounds similar to what you've been doing every day.  And then to remember that every day that I hit the pillow sober, is a victory. Sometimes the yetzer harah tryes to whisper "what a waste of a Sunday, all you did was spent time with your family, and didn't work or learn so much". But I need to tell that voice to shush up, I'm a hero for getting through the day clean, and the yetzer harah is just jealous..
BIG SHOT!
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Re: Once and for all 14 Jul 2019 15:17 #342265

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Yes totally agree!! And thanks to committing to the forum and posting - I made sure to call some people and make plans so that I won’t be sitting at home all day. I have confidence that today is going to be great as well. 

 Just remembered that it’s visiting day and i thought I would share something I was thinking about on shabbos. Sometimes I only prepare myself mentally for shmiras anayim when it comes to non Jews or people on the street that I know will be dressed immodestly—
but i forget that we need to be prepared also when it comes to frum people who even when they dress tzniyus, I still can look at them and have bad thoughts as well. So it’s so important to know that even when going into a situation where it is a frum setting we still need to be on guard. I thought that might be helpful on day like visiting day in camps!

Good of day to all and wishing you strength on these crazy summer sundays !!!

Re: Once and for all 15 Jul 2019 03:42 #342288

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Hey once and for all! It looks like we are on similar streak these days. 

You seem to have a really strong desire and strength to be clean, and I commend you for that! It is nice to see new faces come on the forums and take daily posting seriously. My initial daily posting was how I got to 272 Days strong and while I have fallen twice (Zera lvatala) since then I haven't watched any porn since I began that journey. Having a support system is very important in this journey and we welcome you into ours. 

Re: Once and for all 15 Jul 2019 14:16 #342299

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Thanks Real estate mogul! Yep I really do - but I also have had strong desires to quit before the difference has been Gye and posting - it is definitely helpful. 

Day 7

just this this morning I had a really strong urge and instead of fiddling with my phone as I usually would reading the news or something - which often has stuff that can lead down a bad path - I decided to go directly to Gye forums and read up on a bunch of others threads. It went away and even though I knew it might be a tough day ahead (because once the thoughts of acting out are there it is always hard for it to subside) I was very happy to see that the constant posting was working as it should. 

Thankfully HaShem sent me a bracha during the travel in this morning and made it very easy to keep shmiras ainayim which was very helpful on a tough day. But we got this!! 

Wishjng every one koach and siyata dishmaya!!

Re: Once and for all 16 Jul 2019 12:42 #342320

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Day 7 

one week down- feeling proud but now that the initial “excitement” of stopping is wearing off the real work is about to begin. Should be a good day. I have plans for the night too and shouldn’t have free time to think  

is is the answer always to just keep busy as much as possible?? I feel like that is just pushing off the problem and if/when I am in a real
bad struggle - I won’t have to tools in me to stop !! So keeping busy makes sure I don’t fall into that situation but what happens if I do ??? What then?

wishing koach to all. Great day too
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