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can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over
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A recent scientific study shows that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong! See www.guardyoureyes.com/tools/90-day-chart.
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TOPIC: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 219 Views

can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 31 Jan 2019 04:24 #338757

  • Shower640am
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So I fell a week ago (I watched porn, masturbation was before already) after 8 weeks and I fell again yesterday and today. I'm going to write a new contract that I can't go on the internet outside of yeshiva. Can't wait until tomorrow morning.

Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 01 Feb 2019 00:09 #338764

  • doingtshuva
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Wishing you a fresh start!
Plan ahead and good luck.
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


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Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 01 Feb 2019 02:27 #338766

  • ColinColin
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You could put in the contract that if you feel like watching porn outside of Yeshiva, then instead you have to do something positive...reading, or exercise or a bit of learning etc.
That way you have something to do, as well as a prohibition.

Good luck!

Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 01 Feb 2019 07:30 #338770

  • Shower640am
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Thanks! Great idea. Will definitely put it to use.

Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 01 Feb 2019 07:33 #338771

  • Shower640am
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I fell again today and for no reason. I wasn't even felling an urge. Lord.
Falling off the rails. Starting again tomorrow. Good night.

Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 01 Feb 2019 07:33 #338772

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Didn't write my new contract yet.

Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 02 Feb 2019 21:14 #338782

  • ColinColin
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You fell without an urge.
So falling has become a habit for you.

Sometimes we fall when we are bored.
And usually, being bored is linked to feeling a bit "down.".
So you could be using acting out as a way to give you a brief high to counter the feelings of being down?
Remember, acting out/falling is not always about lust.
It can be because of Hunger, Resentment, Loneliness, Tiredness, Boredom etc.
These can all be triggers, so be aware of them, the HALT method:

Hunger
Anger/Resentment
Loneliness
Tiredness

So instead of acting out, plan ahead for some positive activities.
Even if you phone a friend for a chat, it can help.
Or try to visit an elderly relative.
Last Edit: 02 Feb 2019 21:17 by ColinColin.

Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 18 Feb 2019 16:35 #339044

  • Shower640am
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18 days clean clean since I fell 3 nights in a row. One thing that's bothering me, I find that all these people that got well stayed away from stores, public places etc. as much as possible because they genuinely did not want to see a not tniusdike woman, I don't have those feelings at all I don't want to stay away from public places and I don't. I want to see women outside. Do I have to have those feelings and literally cover my eyes when I go otside to ever get healthy?

Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 19 Feb 2019 00:51 #339050

  • cordnoy
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Shower640am wrote on 18 Feb 2019 16:35:
18 days clean clean since I fell 3 nights in a row. One thing that's bothering me, I find that all these people that got well stayed away from stores, public places etc. as much as possible because they genuinely did not want to see a not tniusdike woman, I don't have those feelings at all I don't want to stay away from public places and I don't. I want to see women outside. Do I have to have those feelings and literally cover my eyes when I go otside to ever get healthy?

Nope.
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Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 19 Feb 2019 01:01 #339052

  • ColinColin
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You have to live life.
Naturally you will look at women outside, you will by instinct have an initial glance at them, but after that initial glance, keep in mind that you want to guard your eyes, and then look away from them.

Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 19 Feb 2019 13:05 #339064

  • Shteeble
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Shower640am wrote on 18 Feb 2019 16:35:
18 days clean clean since I fell 3 nights in a row. One thing that's bothering me, I find that all these people that got well stayed away from stores, public places etc. as much as possible because they genuinely did not want to see a not tniusdike woman, I don't have those feelings at all I don't want to stay away from public places and I don't. I want to see women outside. Do I have to have those feelings and literally cover my eyes when I go otside to ever get healthy?

I came across this piece today. Something out of an old chizuk email I think. I mention it only as something that may help. Not as a definitive answer. 

"We discussed yesterday how the Yetzer Hara is all air, and how by using your head, you can conquer him without a major battle in your heart. 

However, this is only true if you guard your eyes carefully. 

Once the eyes start to see, the heart starts to lust, and the battle switches over from being in the mind to being a much more difficult battle of the heart. 

Therefore, a person must make boundaries for themselves! Accept upon yourself to stop doing the things that cause the heart to become aroused. "

Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 19 Feb 2019 15:36 #339067

  • Workingguy
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Shteeble wrote on 19 Feb 2019 13:05:

Shower640am wrote on 18 Feb 2019 16:35:
18 days clean clean since I fell 3 nights in a row. One thing that's bothering me, I find that all these people that got well stayed away from stores, public places etc. as much as possible because they genuinely did not want to see a not tniusdike woman, I don't have those feelings at all I don't want to stay away from public places and I don't. I want to see women outside. Do I have to have those feelings and literally cover my eyes when I go otside to ever get healthy?

I came across this piece today. Something out of an old chizuk email I think. I mention it only as something that may help. Not as a definitive answer. 

"We discussed yesterday how the Yetzer Hara is all air, and how by using your head, you can conquer him without a major battle in your heart. 

However, this is only true if you guard your eyes carefully. 

Once the eyes start to see, the heart starts to lust, and the battle switches over from being in the mind to being a much more difficult battle of the heart. 

Therefore, a person must make boundaries for themselves! Accept upon yourself to stop doing the things that cause the heart to become aroused. "

So true. And if you want to make the challenge easier, don’t accept that you will automatically look at women, even for the first look, when you’re out and about. I’m not saying that you’re going to be fighting when you’re in the streets- just decide that you want to work on minding your own business and not looking around. It’s much more helpful that way. 

Re: can't wait to wake up tomorow to start over 22 Feb 2019 16:29 #339170

  • Tzvi5
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To answer the op about "whether he can't go to public places"
you don't need to act like a "Porish" to stay sober, or to feel normal. If one builds the mind, then it's possible to be like a normal adult, which doesn't feel lust in his system all the time.
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