Day 0

V'kam V'kam V'kam....

Has the BIG red reboot button been pressed?
Wishing you much success this time around

Afreilechen Chanukah!

Realestatemogul wrote on 17 Dec 2020 22:29:

Don’t forget the previous word!!

Tzadik! Tzadik! Tzadik!!!!!

Realestatemogul wrote on 17 Dec 2020 22:29:

Mr. REM, you are a huge inspiration to all of us here always! Don't let a tiny speed bump turn into a giant pothole! 

Realestatemogul wrote on 17 Dec 2020 22:29:

My friend I am in awe of you. Just reading the last to pages of this thread is making me tear up. 
I don’t recall ever falling after such a long streak. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten nearly a year clean. And still every fall, particularly after a good streak (50-100 days) i would be paralyzed. I’m so moved by your resilience. KUTGW, and keep posting...

Oy! Ye I remember those days after my biggest streak where I kept on falling, and it would get really frustrating. 

Have you tried smart recovery?

Continue rocking!!! Your a big fighter!

Hey GYE!

I am not giving up on you (or me)!

BH I can say that I had 16 clean days after that first day I fell, and now I am back at 3 days! Also, bh I haven't watched any p$%n in my falls. 

I am not going to think about my previous 362 day record, and instead continue to do what has always worked. Smaller goals. 

My next goal is to get to 40 days. 

I am also going to try to do two things every day of these 40 days to help myself get back up. 

1)Exercise or Stretch every day. 
2)Learn a bit of Mesilas Yesharim. 

I have (with this account) 859 cumulative clean days!! I am not giving up and I will continue to do everything I can to break free!

Please continue to support me on my journey - it is extremely appreciated! 

We are with you all the way!!
Keep up the optimism and the focus on the successes and never give up!! You're a chizuk to all of us!

Your determination is amazing!
Keep posting!

Wow, no porn in any of your falls? 
I couldn't resist watching porn once I anyhow fell.

My yh would tell me, "you fell anyways, you might as well enjoy yourself more"

Keep rocking!

Realestatemogul wrote on 20 Dec 2020 16:29:

Gadlus! What an attitude! Instead of that yi'ush we all know of, REM looks at the big picture. In real life, a single fellow with 859 cumulative days means that BH he is basically cured from being controlled by urges. In real life we sometimes slip with lashon hara, anger, or like in this case mz"l. It does not mean we are back to where we started.  Secondly, the complete absence of pornography shows that REM has bli ayin hara convinced himself that pornography is toxic poison and simply stays away. He will iyh have one very fortunate wife...… May Hashem answer his tefillos for that soon!

Amein!

This thread is truly unbelievable, It's just given me so much Chizuk. All i can say is REM you are Living a life on a higher wavelength than many of us. Your gevuras hanefesh has blown me over, you literally are blowing the Yetzer Hora head on. Keep at it. Keep on inspiring us.
With deep admiration for people like REM who know what it means to choose whats right in life. 

Thank you all for the very kind words! 

I was recently extremely humbled by watching a certain huge talmid chacham being interviewed. When asked how the talmid chacham was able to become who he was, he said he was blessed with a very easy life. He grew up in a home that Torah was paramount, so it was only natural for him to spend so much time and effort in his learning. That was his response. 

I have no doubt this talmid chacham has had many challenges and that the y''h didn't just let him have it easy. However, he clearly had the attitude that it is easy and that he is just doing ratzon Hashem. 

There is a mussar concept to make a nisayon less and increase emunah (slightly misquoted but you will get the concept). We see it when Yaakov went to Rachel and Leah about leaving their fathers house and explained all the hardships that he went through, and they responded agreeing that it was rough for them. There is a major question! Hashem just told Yaakov to leave Lavan! He should have said Hashem told us to leave and we are out of here, and Rachel and Leah should have said, "we will do it because Hashem said!" The lesson is that a person should make a nisayon less challenging if possible and not say it is hard but I will do it anyway. 

I think that is what the Talmid Chacham was saying that he had it easy. He had trained himself that it was only natural for him to become a Rav and learn Torah, so he was able to stay focused and not get distracted by other things. 

Maybe that can be applied to our challenges as well. The most important thing that has helped me get to where I am was/is attitude.  When I finally stopped being so harsh on myself I was able to start getting above the water. When I started to celebrate every victory I started to realize that I could overcome this! I think that is this same concept of lessening the challenge. 

When I came to GYE I thought it was an (almost) impossible thing to break free. Ironically, the more I was able to convince myself how possible it is to break free the more I broke free. 

Breaking free is really attainable!!! Everyone can break free and it just takes a little bit of effort every day!!! Every second you are clean is worth more than you can imagine!! 

Day 8 and onwards!

Realestatemogul wrote on 25 Dec 2020 06:09:

5 Star post!