So happy for you, thanks for the good news.

Mazel Tov!!! Be matzliach!

Day 56

I find it difficult to balance not looking at a woman and not being rude to her. I used to chat up this one woman whom I meet every so often while picking up my son from preschool (one of the other mothers). She is really pretty and does not dress very tzniusly, hence a huge trigger.  Today I picked up my son early (hoping that I wouldn't meet her), but she also came early and it was very difficult not to look at her and speak to her without seeming rude. I managed to avert my eyes most of the time, but when speaking to her I could not avoid looking at her. (I also tried to avoid speaking to her as much as possible.) I got out of there as quickly as possible, but not without some damage being done to my eyes.

I have been repeating to myself every morning when I leave the house that I the beauty of women was not given to us to enjoy outside of marriage and that Hashem should help me guard my eyes. I believe this has helped me a lot and as opposed to last time I handled this situation much better, but was probably a bit rude. (Last time I wasn't trying to stop myself from looking and thinking about her at all...)

Me too!

1st of all - You are a real inspiration to me , you joined GYE a few months ago and your going full force tackling the issues , showing real courage and strength etc.

2nd - regarding what you wrote about today , is it not possible to be very polite yet not have a conversation?
if you are respectful most people wont take offense , and if they do I would say that your doing the Ratzon Hashem and if someone thinks thats rude its Still the right thing - again this should be done with  Mentchlichkeit , try it,
( or it could be the " FRUM Yetzer Horaah " could be if you look deep inside you really just like talking to her - but your telling yourself Im a great Baal Midos  Im not saying that is the case and its not my place to - its just something I could see myself doing)

Good luck ! Keep inspiring us !  

I most certainly want to chat to her and look at her and used to do it as much as possible, however I am now trying to refrain from this behavior because it is bad for me. If I hadn't become friendly in first place it would have been much easier to just not politely and be on my way... I got myself into this. On the bright side in a month's time my son will be finished this particular preschool and I should not be seeing her again. So I'll have to do my best until then to avoid her.

BTW thanks for the vote of confidence/chizuk.

Day 59

Having very busy days recently b"h, now that I'm working, so less time to check in here. Being busy is good, but walking and driving around I still find my eyes wandering non-stop. It is a constant struggle, but worth it. I haven't had a real fight with my wife for over two months now and until now it has been a regular thing that when we can't be physical I would basically ignore her. Not on purpose, but I was just living in my lust world, so that she played no part in it when she was off limits.  She/we could never figure out why it happened, but now it seems so obvious.

WannabeFree wrote on 04 Jul 2018 20:46:

I have the same (looking) issue. It helps me when I remember that at work I would definitely force myself myself to look at the most attractive woman in the office if she needed something business-related, and then focusing like a laser beam on the business at hand would be the only way not to think about sex. I am not big on guilt but I think I owe my wife the same courtesy. It's much harder to to do obviously. I find that the telephone helps me relate to her as a regular person.

Day 69

Hey, I haven't posted in ages, but I'm still following emails from a few of the threads and the chizuk emails.  It is still not the same as writing about it here, because when things come up they stay in my head and I need to get them out. B"h I have still kept clean even though for technical reasons I've only been with my wife once in the last 2 months and need to wait at least two weeks again. It has not been easy, but has been easier than previously that I can remember. I still am not close to my wife emotionally and she feels it and keeps me at arms length because of it. Something I need to work on... Have a good week!

Day 87

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I have not fallen, but have slipped numerous times. It is hard to keep focus when I can't get back to here every day. I need the constant reminder and support to keep from constant lusting. On the whole, though, I am in an incomparable place from three months ago!

Hi its great to hear that your doing good

To eliminate the problem of not being able to visit the site often enough ,  I would  recommend setting up an accountability partner which takes no time and is much more than accountability its someone who can be mechazek you ,empathise with you , give you valuable advice etc.  I started this 6 weeks ago and it has had a tremendous impact on my struggle , and I know of many others who have been helped with this , dont forget this forum is here for us to help each other overcome our struggles together.

Kot

Day 90!

Mazel tov! Keep it up!