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BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive
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TOPIC: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 6648 Views

BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 01 Jan 2018 20:54 #324537

  • ayidingalus
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Hi everyone, when I started my 90 days 36 days ago, I wrote I will try to share my story.. if my ADHD will not interfer..Now 36 Days later there are 2 stories to be shared one before finding GYE and one after.. the reason what made me come back now and start sharing my story is actually my wife's credit.. she has been telling me the last week, if your not struggling or its not a fight something is off and oh it was [NO I DID NOT FALL BUT WAS NOT ON THE WAY TO RECOVERY FULLY, WILL ELABORATE LATER,]For me to heal I feel that keeping me active with a live forum and posting here daily, for now, would be a great deal of prevention and recovery WITH HOPE TO BRING MY POSTS TOGETHER IN ADD CONTROLLED FASHION..

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 02 Jan 2018 00:04 #324541

  • serenity
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Welcome. If posting here helps you, then by all means pls do. We will be looking forward reading your posts. 
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 02 Jan 2018 12:21 #324562

  • Hashem Help Me
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Keep up the great work! Looking forward to more posts.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 02 Jan 2018 21:30 #324590

  • ayidingalus
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Why do I call myself a Passive Lustoholic?
A typical scenario I get an email from LinkedIn that Mr. Green would like to connect /nothing to worry about/ I look into his profile then I see, People that may interest you, if they are the opposite gender They always interest me /nothing to worry about/ I look at their profile, Now I long forgot about the reason I came here.I end up trying to connect to people in the lust industry [now I'm using a different account]  I have a filter very strict one, it blocks most pictures I have people in my office but I can waste hours seeing profiles on linkdien.. its something in my head that would allow me to this but never buy a device without a very strict filter.I wasted hours feel terrible and my head is full of lust not satisfied.

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 02 Jan 2018 22:03 #324598

  • tzaddik212
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A Yid In Golus

As long as it is a Yid in Golus it tolerable, Once the Golus is in the Yid, then it is Tragic. This weeks The Meor Einayim is discussing that Paroh wanted to put the Daas Of klal Yisroel in golus. "Tichbad Huavodah", let the yidden work so hard, that they cannot think straight. I feel that being here in GYE, is a form of Geulah. It is a Geulah, of having a straight thinking, Lust makes me Shikkur, it is a form of Alcohol. A yid in in Golus is tolerable, but the Golus in the Yid, is a tragedy.
Check out my recovery story at: guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/323855-Re-What-got-me-to-day-92#323859
Feel free to send me an Email at: zestful718@hotmail.com

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 02 Jan 2018 22:09 #324600

  • gevura shebyesod
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I heard a Vort, I don't remember who it's from, that the reason it's called Yetzias Mitzrayim and not Yetzia MiMitzrayim is that the Mitzrayim went out of us.
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 03 Jan 2018 01:31 #324609

  • youcan
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R' Yid, I think this is why we are here, till now you bought a filter & your job was to fight with it, we're working here to get on the same side of our filters & fight the common enemy together...

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 03 Jan 2018 02:03 #324611

  • tzaddik212
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Recovery can bring you to a Matzav, that you dont need to fight it anymore. you can be around things that used to trigger, and feel content and serenity. it is possible to get to this place. The Ishbitza this weeks Parsha writes on the Posuk ויראו המילדות את האלוקים ויעש להם בתים, he explains that usualy Fear bring upon a person anxiety and stress, but Yiras shomayim brings calm and serenity הרחבת הדעת ומנוחת הנפש. so says that Meyaldus feared from Hashem, so Hashem built them Houses, houses refferes to what chazal say, שלשה מרחיבין דעתו של אדם...דירה נאה
Check out my recovery story at: guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/323855-Re-What-got-me-to-day-92#323859
Feel free to send me an Email at: zestful718@hotmail.com

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 03 Jan 2018 11:25 #324630

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that would probably be based on the ishbitza's understanding of yiras shomayim 
that doesn't simply mean fear of heaven rather not being mispashet into oh"z
as a person will lose his identity (sounds like an addict) 
there fore there can be calm and serenity because yiras shomayim means a feeling of yesh li kol and not needing hispashtus

like a bridge over troubled waters


my stuff

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 03 Jan 2018 14:51 #324635

  • ayidingalus
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Thanks to all! for keeping my forum alive. as I wrote I feel posting helps me awake in my struggle. YOU GUYS FORCE ME TO WRITE because after all, it's my topic,

Ok, today I woke up early daven'd with Netz learned before and after davening, in office at 9, Sounds like did everything for a successful day. yes, it is but let me share one historical fact.
A YID if he is the office at 9, I would have fallen 9 out of 10, for some reason if everything is in control life is running smoothly started the day successfully at some point I will need the thrilling feeling and I will be filling my lust addiction, feeling like a piece of ..     but if I got to the office at 1 davened late, did things before and after Shachris, Chances I would go lust hunting are much smaller, [if something like this is discussed I would be happy to be linked there] 
After GYE I have greatly improved it that matter, Being more honest with myself.
Going to have a clean day OHAAT
today I will be busy on Linkedin [see my pre. post]
will keep you guys posted hopefully by the end of the day or Tom Morning

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 03 Jan 2018 15:08 #324636

  • youcan
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ayidingalus wrote on 03 Jan 2018 14:51:
today I will be busy on Linkedin [see my pre. post]

I read your previous post but I understand that you consider it a bad thing so why will you do it today?

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 03 Jan 2018 15:21 #324637

  • youcan
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ayidingalus wrote on 03 Jan 2018 14:51:
A YID if he is the office at 9, I would have fallen 9 out of 10, for some reason if everything is in control life is running smoothly started the day successfully at some point I will need the thrilling feeling and I will be filling my lust addiction, feeling like a piece of ..     but if I got to the office at 1 davened late, did things before and after Shachris, Chances I would go lust hunting are much smaller, [if something like this is discussed I would be happy to be linked there]

I know 2 reasons why this is the case with me:
1) When I have (read: take) my space in the morning I am in a much more relaxing mode afterwards, so I won't fall so fast (the reason I can't collect myself to start my day is because I'm not relaxed, so if I allow my self to relax I feel much better)
2) simply because when you start your day late you're more busy, don't have much time to think about other things you gotta catch up for the 3 hours you weren't there (when you get to the office at 9, you make a coffee listen to the news etc), [this may also make you more satisfied feeling that you get much more done with your time]

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 03 Jan 2018 15:26 #324638

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I wanna add that sometimes you feel bad later that you are late & this may make you (me) fall back to the unrelaxed mode, so I don't know if it pays in the end of the game... (Maybe this is only because I have anxiety disorder)

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 03 Jan 2018 19:13 #324649

  • tzaddik212
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Hi Tzomah

How about you elaborate and explain the Ishbitza's understanding of Yiras Shomayim.
Check out my recovery story at: guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/323855-Re-What-got-me-to-day-92#323859
Feel free to send me an Email at: zestful718@hotmail.com

Re: BEWARE! ADD writer, and sometimes very passive 03 Jan 2018 19:16 #324650

  • mayanhamisgaber
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tzaddik212 wrote on 03 Jan 2018 19:13:
Hi Tzomah

How about you elaborate and explain the Ishbitza's understanding of Yiras Shomayim.

In the Bais Medrash of course
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!
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