bb0212 wrote on 01 Oct 2017 06:16:

thanks for your points, but as they so לא מעוקצך ולא מדובשך if i wont have this struggles i wont need to get stronger in this area, so i would wish to get rid of that completely, but since i know that this is a very sweat dream, i will continue to work on myself...
Thank You

Hashem Help Me wrote on 01 Oct 2017 12:02:

exactly.... 

Day #48

Today is #48, i had a great Yom Kipur, i was a different person then the past years, thank to you all, and i hope to continue to do so for another year.... i wish to stay clean, even its not that easy, i do struggle here and there, not to compare to last year, when i was out of control completely.

let stay strong, lets be positive, being and thinking positive, even right after a fall changes the entire mindset and attitude from a person, the Mitzvah of the lulev also shows that, we take together all kinds of people, even the Aravah, which taste and smells not the best, and we tell them that we all can be good, we are all good, and we all do Mitsvois together, we have to be and think positive.

Thank you all!!! Im still clean all because of you, your support, your posts, your messages and what not.. keep it up.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can and we will do it! And Together!

Today is my 49th day, im clean for 7 weeks now, tomorrow will be day 50, my longest stretch being clean, and the credit goes to GYE..... without you, i will be at day 1.....

for me getting here was 1) Taphsic, 2) partner, 3) a lot of thinking, before it goes out of hand, as i heard once "When you can stop you don’t want to, and when you want to stop, you can’t", what it says is 2 things, 1) that when you are not in the mood or you just dont want to act out, you can stop it, and basically, its not even a struggle, and 2) when you are in to the lust mode and white knuckling, and you want to stop it, you just cant.... and its so true, basically it boils down to מחשבה at the second this lust thoughts pops in to your head, at that second you have to make this military decision, do i want to go further or i dont want, and remember, if you let it go on for just another second, usually its a done deal, its over, and even if you didnt end up at this time, but the next time it will be harder to stop it, 

by the way i sew a good one: Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see bird that had the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.

Thank you all!!! Im still clean all because of you, your support, your posts, your messages and what not.. keep it up.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can and we will do it! And Together!

Keep it going!  You're energy is really inspiring:grinning:

Mazel tov on breaking a personal record!

Hashem Help Me wrote on 01 Oct 2017 12:02:


Great point. I stand corrected. That said, I'd change what I wrote to: while we may not want it, having a struggle can have very positive side effects. Struggles (that don't kill us) make us stronger.

Reb shivisi! Just poping by to say hello & A giten moed! There are some people in shul that never miss their daily minyan; thus whenever they don't show up it raises an eye brow (dude, I know it's sukkos now, but still..). Your post are so strong and encouraging! i hope you're doing well!

Yitz

bb0212 wrote on 10 Oct 2017 01:40:

Im still standing at my opinion, that if it would be in my power, i would eliminate the struggle even it makes us stronger, לא מדובשך ולא מעוקצך 

LoveU,Hashem wrote on 10 Oct 2017 03:08:

Hay yitz,
thanks for the kind words, it gets me going...
Yes, im still clean, and hope to continue doing so...
im currently in upstate till after Hoshana Raba, and its very tough to write, with very limited internet connection..
will be back after sukkes iy"h
thank you...

Im happy for you! Your focus is keeping me sailing (at least for today)
I suppose very limited internet connection is a blessing.. 
May you have a blessed year!
Yitz

Day #62

Today is day #62, I’m finally back, I had a great and nice Yom Tov, and yes, I’m still clean, but it was hell of a job, wasn’t easy at all, I’ll admit, I had a few “almost” falls, but I got away from it, it was crazy, I was fighting a few times with my thoughts back and forth, should I or shouldn’t I, you know what I mean, but at the end, I got away clean, toughest time was, when I went with my kids to the Park Chol Hamoied, all the woman out there, it was hell not to look, what helped me was, that I knew that I’m clean for over 50 days, so why kill it, why mess with success, and also I knew I will have to admit publicly that I fell, I just couldn’t take the embarrassment, what will I write, that I had a fall, it’s too shameful…..

I was never ever clean for so long, its 62 x 1 day at a time, I never believed I will make it that long, I never believed that I have this strength, and I never thought that there is such a thing to stay clean such a long time….. without GYE I would never stayed clean, I would never have the right tools to stay clean, the support I get here, the community, its great, im clean only because of you, keep it on.

Lets focus on Today only, because “The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now” and remember “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing”

Thank you all!!! Im still clean all because of you, your support, your posts, your messages and what not.. keep it up.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can and we will do it! And Together

Wohoo!!! congrats!! I am so happy for you!! Keep the fire going and may Hashem be in your way for today! 

Day #63 - Week #9

Today is a very exciting day, its my 9th clean week, wooooooow!!!! im sooooooo excited..... i would never believe in myself that i can do that....... seeing is believing... i don't know how to celebrate..... any ideas???? i'm soo soo excited... i'm ready to dance.... i'm a little upset why i didn't know that i can do it a little bit earlier in my life, i wasted so much precious time and zer....... for nothing, just because being under the impression that im anyways lost, which was a lie.... wowow... Thank you all....

i sew in Ohr Hachaim Hakudesh last week, that we have to let go our urge/lust/חשק/תאווה first, and as long we dont let it go, it will run after us, and as soon we will let it go, it will let us alone.any explanation on that is welcomed 
im happy as can be, and lets all be happy, וואס שמחה קען, קען קיינער, only be positive, and only positive thinking took me to where i am now.....

Thank you all!!! Im still clean all because of you, your support, your posts, your messages and what not.. keep it up.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can and we will do it! And Together

I'm so happy for you brother!!  Congratulations!!