Hi,
B"H im well on the way on my 90 day journey of a lifetime!! But iv got a constant fear, what will it be like after 90 days?? Throughout the last 70ish days iv kept myself going because of my constant aim to complete 90 days, one day at a time. But what is going to happen after I reach that goal?? Even though completing 90 clean days makes it a LOT easier to control oneself it does not completely get rid of sexual wants. Iv thought about making new goals the whole time, 100 days, 150 days etc but I'm not so sure that will be enough of a push in times of lust...
hoping to hear some AMAZING suggestions from all u AMAZING guys!!!

Great news.

MostI people, after reachin' 90 days, begin to realize that goals of days will not keep them sober, but rather, ODAAT, and learnin' how to live life productively.

B'hatzlachah

Thread name edited, accordin' to your wishes.

Not sure about the word "afterwoulds."

Actually, I am sure.

cordnoy wrote on 09 Apr 2017 13:47:

William Charles Macready,  in his diaries of the 1830's, wrote as follows: ....so much chatterin' and hurry and confusion that after Woulds had given the postilion seven shillin's and sixpence for his fee....

Like I emailed you, since I do not know much in the way of details about your particular situation, there is no way for me to respond that will be best for you. But the general response to that Q is that for the average sinner who comes here and is not an addict, 90 days clean really helps a lot and is training toward developing further tools to beat this thing...I don't say, "To finally beat this thing," because that's so silly that Hashem never takes it seriously either, of course. Adolescents and children live in 'Finally' - real adults do not live in the over-emotional, romantic world of 'Finally', because today is obviously all we have...who needs tomorrow? Can you squeeze hard enough when you go to the bathroom so that you won;t need to waste time going tomorrow and can learn all day? Nope. It's silly. Hashem knows this and all we have is today. That's reality. The tools the sinning non-addict can develop in 90 days will help him or her grow up a bit and learn more tools for each day that follows till this trip is over and they are dead after 120 (years, not days, I hope!)  

And for the average sinner who is an addict, staying clean for the 90-day challenge is likely to do very little in reality but perhaps just provide a false sense of security. Yes, the person may learn that he or she needs to do things that are uncomfortable to actually not use their drug...but it is more likely that if they are addicted, then the only way they made it for 90 days was by white-knuckling. If fear or pain or shame are great enough, they will temporarily castrate anyone, trust me. What good will that 90 days do for them besides false security? None.

For the addict, the adage "If nothing actually changes, then nothing really changes," is so true. Eventually all will return to it's equilibrium and they will be doing the same things they always did, and worse.

Thanks for letting me share with you! Now the rest depends on who you are and the truth about your situation.  

cordnoy wrote on 09 Apr 2017 13:58:

If you say so........... lol

Dov wrote on 09 Apr 2017 21:23:

this is my story:
Hi, im 17 and about two years ago there was a while that I watched porn, since then I have been moitzei zera very regularly. I also really njoy speaking about sexual matters and would often try to draw my friends into speaking about such things. About 2.5 months ago I txted 2 new friends in my yeshiva trying to bring them to disscussing these bad topics. Somehow word spread and my mashgiach found out what I did. I had tried speaking to him earlier for advice on how to stop being moitzei zera so he knew what I had watched in school. As soon as he heard about those txts he sent me home for a month for therapy. My therapist suggested I take a look at this website and it's been fantastic since then!

Dov wrote on 09 Apr 2017 21:23:

my story is that about 2 years ago there was a period that I watched porn. Since then I would be mz"l very regularly. I also suffered from bisexual atraction and would therefore try to discuss inappropriate subjects with friends. this was all untill just under 3 months ago. What happened then was that my mashgiach and most of my yeshiva found out about my discussions with other bochurim and I was sent home for about a month for theropy. My theropist guided me here and life has been fantastic since!!!!!!!! Now what is the answer to my question? Tx

Yitzk wrote on 19 Apr 2017 09:46:

Kinda hard to formulate one with that eyelid goin' up and down, maybe try a diff. avatar, like a truck - that would be original. 

I can't think about long stretches of sobriety. It makes me anxious when I do that. I try not to think about it too much at all. I just keep doing what worked for me and kept me sober yesterday and try not to get complacent. Anything else for me is like holding my breath. How long can I do that for? 90 seconds?

Hakolhevel wrote on 25 Apr 2017 01:41:

Loooooooool!!!!