ok here is some straight forward chizzuk

look in the mirror

talk to yourself

(make sure no one is around or they will send u to bellvue)

scream loWDLY!!!!

I AM NO ONE'S FAULT!!!

again

I AM nones fault

life is meant to be lived  in the present

not in the past

i will deal with my issues nisyonos hangups addictions habits middos ghosts dibbukim (pick your flavor)

as they come

in real time

i am no ones fault

i will not blame ny lackof shmiras eye-naim

not on the neighbor,the cleaning lady ,tthe shvigger,the rebbetzin,the queen,the stewardess,

i will not blame the internet the iphone the blackbery the wii the psp the the ipad pad ped pid pud

i actually don't even need to blame


did anyone ever tell a orthopedist

that the sidewalk was too hard??!!

did anyone tell a heart doctor ??!! the cholint was too fatty??

maybe they did

does it help if it someones fault ??no!!!

so why are we sitting around crying

keep on trucking

erev yom kippur drasha fin der rebbe oif'n yiddisher forum:

From the rebbe reb b:

Hello zemiros

Im sure you have been scratching your head wondering ehere in the world I am

Well maybe I shud be a little humble and think that maybe im not missed

Well I do owe a bit of explaining

HERE GOES

Bederech she-adam rotzeh laylech bo molichin oso

I have for years struggle with the poison the death pill known as internet addiction

The follies and fables of my rises and falls are well documented in bardichevs battle and in many other threads of the forum

Enough cannot be said of the wonderful forum the goodness it provides the help the comeraderie

It was my rescue parachute from living a life I couldn’t stand

A life for self torment

I found many like minded fine wonderful people there

I made great strides

I was somewhat of a fake folk hero

I changed my habits

BUT!!

I didn’t change

About a year ago after 2 and a half years on the forum

After speaking to and meeting so many of the chaveirim here

After posting over 5000 posts ( not counting the ones that were removed HEH HEH..)

After giving and receiving so much chizzuk

After joining the Yiddish forum

After becoming a moderator

Through a sequence of events

Through a sequence of gut-wrenching events

Through a sequence of gut-wrenching miraculous events

I was at a cross road where I was going to head with continuing on the forum or not

I will keep a good portion of this story to myself

It was best decided that I leave the forum

Zemmy,I am now in a place called Realville,KY

Yeah it’s a stones throw from bardstown

Actually im not in kenticky at all

The only thing I have from Kentucky is some good shnapps

In what I call realville

Is plain life

I deal with problems and with successes as they come

Im not a victim

Im no ones fault

Im not the result or the reaction of anyones deeds or misdeeds

Im not a subject

Im a person

I make decisions

Good and bad

I eat my words sometimes

I make people smile

I cry

I laugh

I dance

I drink woodford

No one is responsible for anyone of my weaknesses vices or seemingly addictive behaviors

I have become a better person

A better husband

A better father

A better son

A better Jew

No longer do I feel the urge to tell the world how I feel

Or what to feel

Or explain the addictive nature of the addictviling addictive addiction

Or the addiction to the addiction

Or the addiction to that

Im out

Im in the the school of hard knocks

Im a scrappy little foot soldier

That rolls with the punches and picks up from where he left off

I try to live each and every day to be meaningful and real

I had 3 major things happen to me in the past half year

One was citi field

Two was losing weight

Three was taking up daf yomi

Citi field was really a huge chizzuk

I haven’t been on the forum since December

Knowing our chevra im sure it was looked at with a bit disdain

But to me it was a huge chizzuk

Losing weight was a result of a exercise and diet regimen

I learned in realville that we are in control of everything we do

No we are not guaranteed results

But the chances of losing weight is a lot greater when you do 1 hour exercise every day

Much greater than eating parve cheese curls and doctor pepper

The daf was a natural extension of the exercise

I said

Hey u can do the exercise

You can do the daf

I was sitting in the metlife stadium during the siyum hashas

A buddy texted me

Hey di u wanna start the daf tomorrow

I said

Yup

And BH

We have been at it 52 days since kayn yirbu

Ok where do we go from here?

Lessons learned

Addicts need addicts

We need one another just to see that we are not crazy

We can not stay at the healing addict level forever (dov my brither I don’t mean you)

We gotta face the world

We gotta face the daemons

It will be hard

But come clean to your spouse

She will be more supportive than u can imagine

Live life

Live life

Just keep plugging at it

There are no downfalls

There are no set becks

There are just opportunities to rise to a new level

Live life in realville

Don’t be prisoner to any so called addiction

Real or imagined

And don’t be chained to recovery either

It is erev yom kipper

There is no greater time than now

Take all the lessenons that we learnrd on the forum

And APPLY THEM!!!!

As dov taught us

The program works for those who work the program

U are not the prisoner of amyones jail

Only the shackles of our own imagined ones

Break free and rise like an eagle

Soer to greater heights that you have not even imagined

May you and all the chevra be gebentched witgh a gut gebentcheter yur

Only Simcha bracha and nachas

And if things are seemingly not going the way u imagined

Nu nu

Keep on trucking!!

Ony Simcha!!

You are no ones fault!!!

Gmar chssima tovah

YUP!!!!!

not really aone

I understand why minus karma you do not see who did it
but why can I not see who or at least why plus happens 
The reason I ask is that if I am doing something right I would like to know about it....