Workingguy, I suppose I should have asked this outright: What do you think of Ben's Kosher Deli?  I saw a particular shirt, (I am not going to get into it), which seemed not so frum, and then doing further research, I found out that they are open on Shabbat because they sell their business to a non-Jew for Shabbat and certain holidays.  I thought I have read in other places that one has to be Shomer Shabbat in order to be able to trust their kashrut.
 
 

I know the T-shirt. They have a kashrut certification?

Yes, but it seems a little strange to me.  They have 3 letters that they show on their website.  One is just from the rabbinical supervision of the Hebrew National products that they sell.  Another one looks like it is from a conservative rabbi basing that on that it has a "Temple Beth Am"  letterhead.
And then another one from an Orthodox rabbi, but it sounds off to me.  He writes about his "credentials" being a prominent rabbi in the Orthodox Jewish community.

It just doesn't seem a frum attitude at all to not be Shomer Shabbat and then to say that because they are not shomer Shabbat, they are able to keep prices low...
http://www.bensdeli.net/

 

Yeah, not reliable. I would venture to say not kosher even. In general, triangle k isn't reliable.

Darn it Shlomo24, I've gotten so used to feeling comfortable with a place's kashrut status bona fide.  I had no idea I would have to do investigation, but it seems like outside of the Five Towns / Woodmere / Cedarhurst area, I would have to do some sort of Orthodoxy check.  That area of Long Island, (just talking about Nassau and Suffolk counties), is the only area I would trust.  Woodbury, Merrick, and even Plainview, although I trust Plainview more, just seems bad in terms of Orthodoxy. 

I can't stand these goyishe divisions, even though I come from it!

 

You know that as a Jew, it's not always them versus us? There doesn't need to be animosity against the "goyim".

MeyerLemon wrote on 02 May 2016 16:44:


Familiar with Ben's. They may have some kosher products but it is not kosher. Not a single Orthodox Jew in that area eats there as far as I know.

Shlomo24: Reform and Conservative Judaism are "goyishe divisions" because they came about as a result of the 19th Century "Enlightenment" going on in Germany.  It is not a comment about "goyim" per se, it is an observation that Reform and Conservative Judaism is not authentic Judaism.  I've seen in my own lifetime my family's "Jewishness" slowly disappear because Reform Judaism is so weak that you can't sustain Judaism with it. 

It's day 28, and had a nisayon today.  I was shopping at Walmart, and I saw a couple of people that I was attracted to in particular.  Normally, I would have tried to get a closer look, and at times even try to get some brief small talk, and then go home and mz"l while fantasizing.  I was able to catch myself before assenting to lust, and walk away.  It was a bit of a struggle: I told myself that I was shomer habris, and then I looked at my "Emergency Turn Off" pictures, which are a bit more graphic than what GYE has in mind.  Then I was able to leave Walmart without going back into the store.
 

Day 30!  :point_up2:Bez"H

Today marks the end of the first nusach deadline, and I will continue with the conditions.  This go-round, I will try to focus on not overeating, which I think I was doing to compensate for mz"l.


 

This week, I have been working a lot of overtime, with hardly time to sleep.  I find that while I haven't had any "super-urge" lately, I have had thoughts of loneliness and self-pity as I don't have any "flesh-and-blood" friends that I can regularly see and enjoy time with.  At work, while I am friendly with my co-workers, I haven't really made a friend connection.  I am the only white male working in the area that I do, and my most of my coworkers' talk centers around sex and relationships.  I have had to lie and say that I had a girlfriend, but that she had died, just to ward off a probing curiosity as to why a 46-year old man is not married and is not seeing anyone at the moment. 

In the future, I will probably set some time aside, so that I can work on personal interests or volunteer and hopefully will naturally make friends.  I feel like the SSA issue is always something that I am hiding for fear of rejection, and I wish I didn't feel the need to have to do that.

 

It's day 37, and I can honestly say that there are moments when I feel very happy to be shomer habris.  It feels good to have been able to be abstinent. (B"H!)  I hope to be able to fully integrate being shomer habris into my life. I have been working so much that it doesn't leave time for much else. 

In an odd twist of fate, my mother is good friends with a friend of my late partner, and so while I had gotten rid of any pictures or much else of my late partner, because I didn't want to dwell on sentimental notions.  My mother sent me a picture of this friend who walks and raises money for GMHC, (Gay Men's Health Center) for the AIDS walk.  He had a handmade poster saying that he was walking for my late partner.  My mother thought it was very sweet.

But for me, it was the gay culture represented in part by the GMHC that was the very cause of my partner contracting HIV, which contributed to his death, but wasn't the actual cause of it.  (Be"H, I am HIV negative.)

So, while I had gotten rid of all the things that would have had a sentimental value for me, I feel like in part, I am shomer habris for my late partner -- a tikkun of sorts.

Almost to day 39, and hopefully, Bez"H, I will make it to 40.  I am still getting adjusted to my new work schedule, and when I should be really going to bed.  On Friday, I have an appointment to see an Orthodox rabbi about possible conversion. -- All very exciting. 

Thanks for the updates!

The idea of being shomer habris for your late partner must give it a lot of meaning for you.

Wishing you continued hatzlacha!

Almost to day 42, Im Yirtze Hashem, and I have had some challenges to be sure...not quite a full on attack, but like little drops of water working on a big rock of shomer habris.  I have lusted in my dreams, and had a few "second looks".   No mz"l, but would like to work on that stuff anyway. 

I had my meeting with the rabbi, and I was surprised at how welcoming he was.  Apparently, there are a few converts at the shul.  I wasn't sure about it, but I think I found my shul home.