I am finally done with this. It has totally ruined my life and everything I hold important.
I decided to this once and for all. So I started the 90 days yesterday and when I looked at the calendar 90 days from 6/17 falls out on the second day of Rosh Hashsanh which is the first day of aseres yemei teshuva. I took this as a sign from Hashem that if I do this then I can truly do teshuva. Get it out of my system and then start the teshuva process.

90 clean days clears your mind and brain to truly step out and do teshuva.

I am psyched and feel for the first time that I may break free finally.

Some time you need to fall bad in order to pick yourself up even higher.
This is b/c when we are only doing decent we never take that full step.

Example: We stop looking at porn but still look at women on the street or will still look at clean websites that have some not tznius women.
If we stay like this, our feeling good about not looking at porn makes us think that we are ok with just ocassionally or often looking at women.
We need to fall so that we feel so bad that when we pick ourselves up we come completely clean even from the "not so bad stuff"

Welcome to GYE and thank you sharing!

If I may offer a suggestion, just focus on staying sober for today chaver.

Hatzlacha!

Welcome
Ditto to Yaakov.
By the way, the second day rh is the second day of aseres yemei teshuvah.....not that it should make any difference now.

Bhatzlachah

True good point. Either way advice taken. Focusing on the now is a great strategy, could be where I have been failing in the past.
Any tips for office shmiras einayim especially in the summer...
Its everywhere ...?

Our small efforts build up a mountain of siyata dishmaya that will carry us.the beginning is harder as we have to make that decision to give up something that is so so dear to us.
People have talked about the realisation that the pain of looking is greater than the pain of not looking. In other words, that longing for something you can't have, that consequent decent into what is a blind alley of dimyon that only makes your reality so much worse.
Hatzlacha. Please join us and keep posting.
Shlomo