I had an interesting struggle yesterday.

Instead of a fight, my Yetzer Hara is telling to 'ease up' a little. "Don't fall, but expose yourself a little to z." (By the way, my 'z' is really not bad. GYE would even allow it. But I can't allow it to myself). This is a problem for me, because when I fall - I regret everything and attempt to stand up all the way again. But if I don't fall, I'm kind of lenient on myself for the rest of the journey, which kind of makes me weaker (And can eventually lead to falling). And I really don't know exactly how to stand back up when I am only bent over?

Any suggestions?

Interesting, but not uncommon, issue. I know the feeling. You're your own worst enemy very often, with these things, or at least your mind is. It's sounds to me like old-fashioned denial, dressed up like fancy rationalization. But you're still, essentially, in convincing yourself that you need to let your guard down, opening the door for acting out, which is all related to a weakening of your acknowledgement of your addiction. Like I said, it's very common, even textbook.

I've done it too, maybe in a different style. In fact, the road to acting out and falling is paved with these types of thoughts: "Lighten up; Relax; You don't need to do all this stuff." I never go from a clean streak to a fall in a straight line. I talk myself out of staying clean, in my mind, until I've developed a (fallacious) argument about why I should act out. So by the moment I'm acting out, in my mind, I'm intellectually on board with it. It's sick, but addiction is a disease.

Read up on "confirmation bias." It's the human tendency to see the things we want to see, in places we ordinarily wouldn't see them. It all relates to the triumph of emotional desire over intellectual will, and our mind's eager willingness to accommodate that.

Dear friends.

I am starting to feel slightly weaker on this struggle... Maybe that's a good thing and is actually the way to help me through - coming to terms that I am not in control...

Thank you. I can relate.

That's really an excellent take on feeling weaker, actually, the best I've heard. Try to find that balance between stressing out excessively about it and giving up. Actually, you could whisper to yourself, "I have no control over this; HaShem, please help me." Saying this out loud, over and over again, really makes a difference for me.

Hello,

I, um, am going through a rough time today... Made a few wrong moves... Can use some encouragement.

Thank you.

Polar, Keep strong!

22 days is a huge accomplishment! It means that you have what it takes to make it through Today. Don't worry about never falling again. Just focus on getting through the day.

You can do it!

some slips? happens to us all.


You have not fallen and accomplished so much.

KUTGW

All of us are behind you

Gut Shabbos

KEEP ON TRUCKIN! NEVER EVER GIVE UP!!!

Move on and move forward. Each moment is new!

What they said, haha. One day at a time, and if that's too much, one hour, or one minute. For me, and a lot others too, lust comes in waves. It's rarely hours and hours of continuous, excruciating desire. Remember that the desire will subside, and focus on getting through the day. Don't worry about anything else.

Thank you all for your support! I made it through! I love you guys!

Hello friends,
I just wanted to share that I was so close to falling recently that I am considering it a miracle that I didn't. I was starting to slip - very bad, then realized that I had not yet used the 'Taphsic' fence. I quickly charted down a bunch of 'fences' and then started acting on them. The whole (before) chores took me about 2 to 3 hours to complete, there were times there when I forgot I was in the middle of a huge struggle, and there were times when I could have said I had already fallen. After I finished all the chores I had written for myself, I was so, so close to falling. Just then some friends hurried in and pulled me out of the icy water. They arrived much earlier than expected, and I really feel that it was HASHEM telling me that I did my best and that it was time for him to throw in a net.

A cheer all round. Well done!

Wow, just wow.