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A new start

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: A new start 10149 Views

A new start 30 Mar 2015 00:54 #251505

yonatan374 Current streak: 102 days OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 26 Karma: 3	I'm on my 90 day journey, 9 days clean. After all these years I finally told my wife about my addiction to porn. She was wonderful about it and promised to help any way she could. A true eishes chayil. Better than I deserve. I'm truly blessed to have her. This allowed me at put filters on my computer to keep me honest. With G-d's help I'll be able to beat it this time.

Re: A new start 30 Mar 2015 01:06 #251507

SamJoe Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 50 Karma: 6	Welcome and Hatzlacha! A real bracha to have a wife who will be there for you in these struggles!

Re: A new start 30 Mar 2015 01:38 #251509

cordnoy
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Welcome
wow!
B"H!

b'hatzlachah

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A new start 30 Mar 2015 01:56 #251512

serenity
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"ONE DAY AT A TIME"
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Welcome to GYE! Hatzlacha on your journey!

Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: A new start 30 Mar 2015 02:43 #251517

TriggerMeNot88 OFFLINE Senior Boarder כי פשעי אני אדע וחטאתי נגדי תמיד Posts: 61 Karma: 8	Nice! Good for you! Spouse support( for me at least) is a huge help. My wife knows I'm struggling with the Internet but she doesn't know details. But the little she knows she is supportive about. Which is a huge help!
	"To suffer in silence is to suffer alone. To suffer alone...........well, no one should have to do that." My Threads guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/251355-Chizuk?limit=15&start=45

Re: A new start 30 Mar 2015 15:35 #251544

bigmoish
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Spouse support is definitely a huge help. Isolation is a killer, and the ability to finally be honest with your spouse is a game changer.
But bear in mind that women, for the most part, are incapable of understanding why we are so driven to sex, porn,and masturbation. Just because she knows and is supportive of you does not mean that she will tolerate it or be understanding forever. Use this opportunity wisely to get your rear in gear and get into a recovery program that works for you.

Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Last Edit: 30 Mar 2015 15:35 by bigmoish.

Re: A new start 31 Mar 2015 00:13 #251559

yonatan374 Current streak: 102 days OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 26 Karma: 3	Your are right. My wife doesn't understand the attraction to porn. Considering how long I've been dealing with it and kept it a secret from her, she's dealt with it far better than I had any right to expect. I won't take advantage of that but I am grateful.

Re: A new start 31 Mar 2015 16:30 #251582

bigmoish
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Just had another conversation with my wife about this last night. It's been over 4 months since she busted me, and she still has zero comprehension of the way my mind works regarding addiction to lust.
Then again, do we understand it ourselves?

Re: A new start 31 Mar 2015 19:52 #251599

yonatan374 Current streak: 102 days OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 26 Karma: 3	It's not just you. The male brain is wired differently. Guys are just more visual. That's why we have to guard our eyes. Check out this video from Prager University. Maybe it will help explain to your wife the differences. www.prageruniversity.com/Life-Studies/He-Wants-You.html#.VRr6k2ctHb0

Re: A new start 01 Apr 2015 00:37 #251614

dd OFFLINE Platinum Boarder כל זמן שהנשמה בקרבי מודה אני לפניך Posts: 879 Karma: 42	Welcome Yonatan374!! Keep up the good work and wishing you loads of hatzlachah!!! hope to see you around.

Re: A new start 01 Apr 2015 05:07 #251641

yiraishamaim OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1032 Karma: 101	Welcome Big Moishe's advice that a wife doesn't and really can't fully get it is right on the money. Multiple falls now will most likely cause you to lose your wife's good will. However with success now - you can let her know that her understanding and support were essential in your success. This sincere appreciation will do wonders to your marriage.

Re: A new start 02 Apr 2015 01:21 #251713

TriggerMeNot88 OFFLINE Senior Boarder כי פשעי אני אדע וחטאתי נגדי תמיד Posts: 61 Karma: 8	Bigmoish wrote: Spouse support is definitely a huge help. Isolation is a killer, and the ability to finally be honest with your spouse is a game changer. I could not agree more. Such a relief. B"H for you to have a supportive wife.
	"To suffer in silence is to suffer alone. To suffer alone...........well, no one should have to do that." My Threads guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/251355-Chizuk?limit=15&start=45 Last Edit: 02 Apr 2015 01:26 by TriggerMeNot88.

Re: A new start 02 Apr 2015 01:27 #251714

TriggerMeNot88 OFFLINE Senior Boarder כי פשעי אני אדע וחטאתי נגדי תמיד Posts: 61 Karma: 8	Bigmoish wrote: Just had another conversation with my wife about this last night. It's been over 4 months since she busted me, and she still has zero comprehension of the way my mind works regarding addiction to lust Tell her it's like when she sees a pair of shoes that takes her breath away X1000
	"To suffer in silence is to suffer alone. To suffer alone...........well, no one should have to do that." My Threads guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/251355-Chizuk?limit=15&start=45 Last Edit: 02 Apr 2015 01:28 by TriggerMeNot88.

Re: A new start 02 Apr 2015 02:14 #251716

bigmoish
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הלואי she should understand that!
והמבין יבין

Re: A new start 02 Apr 2015 02:48 #251719

yonatan374
Current streak: 102 days
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I don't know if my experiences are unique in any way. I don't struggle day to day. But the urge seems to hit all at once and then becomes hard to impossible to resist. This is the case when I'm home alone. I've been unemployed since last August so there was lots of opportunity. Now I'm back in school learning a new trade so that helps keep me out of trouble. But I worry about what to do when/if the urge hits.

Any advice, ideas would be appreciated.