This is really written as a Diary - I couldn't figure out how else to record battles and thoughts here. My situation mandates that I my name will fall off of the chart every two weeks - I'm in yeshiva and don't have access to the internet at all for weeks at a time - during which time I don't have to worry about these problems.
But, alas, there are off-shabbosim and there are bein hazmanim. I've still never made it for three months. Something always gets to me. So now, with the help of the different tools on GYE, plus a dedicated Journal that is more than just a password protected word-document I will hopefully pass through 90 days and more.
I am kind of unclear as to how the 90 days thing would work for me - being as it doesn't come up too often - only bein hazmanim and off-shabbosim or special occasions. However, since before I shipped out to Yeshiva it definitely reached a level of somewhat addiction, I believe that I should treat the issue with the 90 day plus system.

Again, I am writing this as I would a Journal, so don't mind if it's unhelpful, out of place, etv....
Ok, the first post is about how fired up I am that day 90 of my Journey is Erev Shavuos - I'm pretty confident that it's not healthy to set goals so far away - but I can't help being fired up about it.
I really need to go to sleep - however, when I next get the chance I will Be'h specify the upcoming hurdles and the plans, strategies and provisions being made to overcome or circumvent each situation.

Welcome,
We don't know much about you, but your road to recovery should be blessed with hatzlachah.
It is kedai to read a lot of the tips on the homepage, or other places sprinkled about this site.

b'hatzlachah

That was a quick response - *Really Happy Smiley Face* (There weren't any emoticons that truly expressed my enthusiasm) - Thank for welcoming me. This website makes me heart sing Mi Ke'amcha Yisrael!!!

However, I really must go to sleep. So long, for now!

Welcome Fowth!!!

The first step has already been taken. May you have loads of Hatzlacha further on this road to recovery.

Welcom to Gye
What Cordony said is very important, read the Handbook and the tips on the main page.
Work one day, one hour, one minute, and sometimes for one second at a time.
We all wish you Hatzluche.

Welcome!
גם אני מצטרף להנ"ל

ג''א

how are you doing Fowth? we are with you on the 90 day journey. you wrote that Bein Hazmanim is the main challenge for you. so how are you keeping up?

Welcome to GYE! Keep on posting!

Have you tried the Taphsic method .. well scary but just might do the trick for those 10% times (I call them 10% times as the phenomena occurs about 10% of all my down time where I suddenly get an irrational urge to sin).

Also if you are in yeshiva .. take time out of your lunch break and go schmooze with a Rav about it. I presume they understand that this is getting more and more widespread and therefore might have the tools to deal with it. When i was in yeshiva there was a Rav who also had a degree in psychotherapy and so I schmoozed with him about all sorts.

Hatzlocho.

I very much disagree with you regarding to talk to a rav. Unfortunately most rabonim have no clue on this issue. Before I would speak with a rav I would at least make sure that the only thing I will get from the talk, is humiliation. Very much rabonim are not familiar enough with these issues, and may be very ignorant. So be careful to which rav you talk about it. If the rav is a therapist then go ahead.

Well, I appreciate the interest. Thank you very much. i would like to mention that Bein Hazmanim was very good. I made through the first 2 weeks clean. I don't think I've ever done anything like that before. However, eventually, I fell.

I thank Hashem for that Bein Hazmanim, and Be'h from here on out I will make it to complete recovery.

In response to the discussion about Rabbonim - I spoke with 3 Rabbonim and a therapist about this among other things. Baruch Hashem, the Rabbonim, each in his own style, responded quite nicely to the issue and were helpful. The therapist came later. Baruch Hashem, I haven't come across anyone who was judgemental.

Pre-Shavuos was a minor disaster. But, steps are being taken to prevent these things from recurring. Be'h this Motzei Shabbos I am installing a filter on one ofthecomputers that causes a problem. Don't ask why it wasn't on ther before - it's a bit complicated. But it will be worked out, G-d willing.

Chazak VE'matz