I've always been an overly physical person when it comes to relationships. I was recently with a frum girl unfortunately and we were both very into each other. We had decided to keep shomer negiah but that didnt last as soon as we were alone and not following laws of Yichud. Either way after going over a month without slipping, I fell really hard. Just would wake up with extreme urges to masturbate and not even watch pornography. I am taking a break with the girl for multiple reasons, and it isn't her fault I slipped obviously. But I need to focus on purity, especially because I want to be a kiruv rabbi.

Last week my father was diagnosed with unfortunately very progressed prostate cancer. He is only 54. I decided to take it on myself and go against my physical nature for Hashem and for my father by keeping pure. I slipped today, yet again, so I decided enough was enough and here I am. I am actively focusing on helping my father by guiding him with diet and meditation advice, but also making medicine for him. I figure if anything can help, prayer and keeping mitzvot will be extremely powerful and work hand in hand with the other components. So here we go...

Refuah shleimah to your father.

Welcome,

Refuah Shleimah

Hatzlachah in recovery.

I echo the sentiments mentioned above.
Refuah Sheleimah to your father.
Tefillah and Ma'asim Tovim are definitely seen by Hashem.
We, don't, however, understand the Ribbono shel Olam's cheshbonos, so don't get down on yourself for any falls you have had - keep looking forward.
We are all thinking of your father.
Hoping to hear good news from you.
Moish

Welcome! We're glad to have you. Have you read the handbook? Do you have a plan? Keep posting keep reading.

Your father should have a refuah shelaima, but don't take blame (or credit) no matter what happens.