I don't understand you...if you know what the stressors are, it certainly helps to fix things. For example, of I know that being around my parents and listening to them fight is a stressor that can trigger a desire to escape, then the next time it happens, perhaps I can recognize that I'm feeling stressed and want to escape and self-medicate by using the internet and m-g. And perhaps that will help me overcome these urges and look for healthier ways of letting off stress.

Yes..if it is a constant or present stresser.

I was referrin' to things in our past; our history.

That info didn't help me much.

Oh, I see. Well for me, these things are still very much constant stressors.

I think what cordnoy also means is that the more we focus on who's to blame for our problems, the less responsibility we tend to take for our actions right now. In order to change ourselves now, we have to focus on what we can do to help ourselves, not what others are doing that hurt us.

This isn't to say that they aren't at fault, nor that it doesn't really hurt. Just that focusing on it is counterproductive most of the time.

KUTGW! you're doing great.

I still think you guys are confusing identifying triggers and stressors with walking around blaming others. When I fall, I don't walk around saying darn my parents, how could they have done this to me. Of course it's my responsibility. But there is nothing wrong with being cognizant of what makes the issue tick. But whatever. Enough about this.

I am about to get 2 laptop-less days clean.

Congrats!! Take it slow and easy, but KOMT!!!

Thank you! Of course, I do have the small feelings that I get when I abstain from this stuff, which is namely, how much am I missing? And then when I go to shul and see everyone looking so happy and unencumbered by this issue, using their smart phones, etc...I feel so abnormal. Like, why can't I just be like them? Why did Hashem create me to be so hyper sensitive to these things? It makes me feel very inferior, weak and lame.

Hashem only gives us challenges we can handle. So if you have this issue while everyone else in unencumbered by it (if they really are) then it's not because your inferior and weak. To the contrary, you can handle it because you're strong, and that's why Hashem only trusted YOU and not them with this challenge.

This was like reading my own thoughts! It's hard when the yetzer hara hits, and we try to say no, and he responds that we're gonna be missing out on the fun and pleasure. The key is to be able to say back that we are not missing out, and rather we are gaining by not acting out. Easier said than done, but it's a battle. Based on how many members there are on GYE, and ho many visitors there are, it just shows that you are not alone in this struggle. Just because you see someone on their smartphone does not mean that they are not struggling with their own personal demons. We all look like normal people moving about their daily lives. we don't have it chalked on our foreheads that we struggle with lusting and mb. We're in this together.