Forum

Welcome, Guest

Bigmoish's path to tahara

(0 viewing)

Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

Reply Topic

New Topic

Page:
1
...
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
...
28

TOPIC: Bigmoish's path to tahara 80925 Views

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 03 Dec 2014 04:55 #244494

dd
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
כל זמן שהנשמה בקרבי מודה אני לפניך
Posts: 879
Karma: 42

Moish I was gone for a while so I just read the update while catching up on the site.

Like cordnoy said we all really feel with you and I hope your adjusting to the concept of you wife knowing.

You do seem to be dealing with it pretty well so KOMT!!!!

We're all with you so KUTGW!!!!

Unanumun I was really laughing hard when I saw the post about chutz l'aretz being metamtem (actually tried to keep it low so my wife doesn't hear me laughing while i'm on the computer she doesn't know yet because I cant decide if I should send a women or tell her myself).

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 15 Dec 2014 22:01 #245179

bigmoish
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1194
Karma: 169

I had a stressful day at home yesterday (whether the stress was real or perceived, yesh ladun), and I really wanted to act out. Maybe it's just been a while since I fed the beast, I don't know. Thanks to all those who respond to my desperate pleas for help at midnight or later and calmly walk me back from the edge. (Even if it may not be midnight where y'all are.)
I am far from out of the woods, though, and bracing for another day of "battle."

Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 15 Dec 2014 22:15 #245180

cordnoy
OFFLINE
Moderator
Posts: 12063
Karma: 652

I know like this.
My lustful slips/falls have lasted a week or two, and I was in it constantly (seemingly different than others).
If, however, your thought process is: "I was lustful yesterday, but never satisfied myself, so tonight's gonna be a whopper of a struggle," may I suggest the simple thought process of: Not every lustful thought needs a conclusion; they can remain just as they are/were....a lustful thought.

b'hatzlachah

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 20:34 #245233

Shmeichel
Current streak: 980 days
OFFLINE
Gold Boarder
Smiling to YOU!
Posts: 256
Karma: 18

Bigmoish wrote:

maybe she lost a glove?

when going forward gets tough, its merely a sign that you are going uphill, just give more gas
put your sobriety first; before your wife, before your kids, before your avodas HaTorah (except for the 3 that are יעבור ואל יהרג) Without sobriety you won't have any of those things!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 20:47 #245234

bigmoish
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1194
Karma: 169

Extra credit for paying attention

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 20:51 #245235

cordnoy
OFFLINE
Moderator
Posts: 12063
Karma: 652

I try to pay attention to details (especially yours), but I missed the reference to 'gloves.'

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 20:53 #245236

bigmoish
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1194
Karma: 169

Last post on page 12

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 21:27 #245241

cordnoy
OFFLINE
Moderator
Posts: 12063
Karma: 652

That was on beginnin' of travel....

I actually now remember it.

what did she mean with the competition line?

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 21:42 #245242

bigmoish
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1194
Karma: 169

It was a half-joking (at most) reference to her sister.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 17 Dec 2014 01:52 #245254

neshamaincharge Current streak: 3689 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 345 Karma: 50	Just letting you know that I get excited when I log on to the and see that you posted. Keep it coming!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 17 Dec 2014 02:41 #245256

bigmoish
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1194
Karma: 169

Talk about pressure!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 17 Dec 2014 04:34 #245263

cordnoy
OFFLINE
Moderator
Posts: 12063
Karma: 652

neshamaincharge wrote:

Just letting you know that I get excited when I log on to the and see that you posted.
Keep it coming!

This entire post was triggerin'

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 01 Jan 2015 06:23 #246373

bigmoish
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1194
Karma: 169

A couple of weeks ago, I had been thinking about the concept of transferring our lust of women to "lust" for Hashem, so to speak. I think it was the subject of a chizuk email and perhaps was subsequently debated on the forum. I was a little bothered about whether or not it was actually possible at the time.
Then on Thursday night, I was at a shiur, and I had a hard time staying awake. I thought to myself that if there was a certain woman standing in front of me, I probably would not be sleeping. I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but I attempted to equate knowing the information being given over at that shiur with getting close to the object of my lust. It did help me stay awake, and I came to a certain understanding in the aforementioned concept. It cannot help me "redirect" my lust away from women. However, perhaps I can use it to help me focus on my learning at times that I don't feel in the mood.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 02 Jan 2015 00:07 #246424

inastruggle
Current streak: 25 days
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary....
Posts: 1263
Karma: 35

I think you have a good point. If we had a strong enough lust to attain closeness to Hashem, then we wouldn't be busy with our lust for women. The pleasure we can get our of a closeness to Hashem is infinite, and the pleasure out of women, is quite finite.
A member of oink once said that he asked a certain gadol if he has the same lust to Hashem as he has to women, and the gadol answered that he has way more lust toward Hashem.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 02 Jan 2015 12:52 #246480

bigmoish
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1194
Karma: 169

The point I was making was actually contrary to yours, I think.
I was saying that although I found that it's possible for me to use lust as a tool to come to a closer relationship with Hashem, I can't use that as a mechanism to fight my inappropriate lusting. Maybe if I keep using the positive "lust" the other one will diminish. But I'm not banking on it.