Pidaini,

well my story is I have been around porn since I was like 15 an chronic mastorbator (i guess at least every day ) always made time for it . dated a lot had sex with women but always made solo time . since i am getting older i am more concerned about my relationship to god and I know this gets in the way . O h i have had pure weeks and days but always went back to my stuff. It also consumes a lot of time and more since i have retired. I can see it as a problem (probably since it is SIN the time in lusting and etc ) I was on a porn site and GYE popped up i clicked on it and thought i should check it out ( i had tried a little to stop before but never was serious) and some one at church had placed some guard your eyes out and I had picked up one and was pretty clean for maybe a year and then well what can i say . I tried to do it once a week but that didn't work so I decided I was addicted to what ever extent . I am not sure i have to do but i do enjoy and want to lust . I think that god has taken the want to out of the equation and i am going to stop eventually with his intervention . What else u want to know??? i am open about it that helps and i do have a few friends i talk to from time to time. I am single and think that if i was married i would not want porn but i don't know about that since i have been on GYE
I am also having a little trouble figuring out this site but I'm trying

dear ewards,
i think it is important for us to mention that although all of us are trying
to deal with addictions to lust, there is postive side of this urge, after all that is how g-d made us! therefore we are very pro-marriage. in our religion though extra marital relation, are forbidden, however in your case there would be nothing wrong if you could get a permanent girlfriend, to build a solid relationship. that way you are channeling your urges in the right direction.
your friend lavi.

ewards wrote:


I keep finding myself REreading posts like these, when they show up. It's similar to the "second look" challenge when I see a good looking woman walking by.
I guess even when I'm on GYE I have my challenges to work on.

Lavi

Ummm well I always said i didn't have time for a relationship , I guess that was cause i spent two much time lusting and etc I will have too look at that closer I do have a friend at the school i volunteer at . Thats all only a friend . I probably am not ready to go any farther yet , I will keep it in mind . I find a lot of things are clearer when i am not acting out ,I see things differently ,Interesting

sorry , sure don't want to tempt you didn't mean to do that . But i dreamed about it last nite and u know after i posted it i hadn't thought about it till i read this forum LOL so is life

on another thought I have to be careful on here also a lot of times the stores and some of the posts tend to trigger me also. Maybe we are all just a mess

so this is like the 15th day and i am struggling some i guess it is withdrawal etc i am having urges but in my mind i know better even typing this is sorta triggering me . I am not giving in just get threw a time here. Had the same thing yesterday and after a chat and some work it went away completely and church last nite and that quenched it i guess

ewards

Just concentrate on now. Concentrate, don't worry. No need to worry. Just take a deep breath and get on with your day, with whatever you have to do!

KOL! KEEP ON LIVING!

will so I've been doin well with g-ds help going to big city today .I got to remember no lusting it does not belong to me and i don't need it or want it . Today is now and tomorrow is another day nothing will change and i will be fine (better without it ) to day is NOW tomorrow is another day ill be clean today and tonite and be glad

I am on my way Have a good day guys will use stuff i have learned on gye

ewards

Thanks for the update ewards. may you come home as pure as you left. good luck

well back in the country think i did good with g-ds help i don't think i lusted and i definitely guarded my eyes . so this is the now and i feel good about it for now. tomorrow is another day

ewards

well guys i fell yesterday at 24 days . I can't blame any one I just wanted to and of course once was not enough so here comes the journey I get up and try again:ohmy: Hey i did pretty good never been clean that long. I guess its to be expected

ewards

That's it....get up and try again!

but what can you learn from the last fall?

Pidaini wrote:




what can i learn well i still enjoy it , not sure i want to stop completely, would settle for more control over my lust and acting out . Is that a bad way to feel

ewards

The truth about feelings is that they aren't bad or good, feelings are...feelings, they are just a fact of life.

Now, how to deal with feelings is a separate question. Of course we all would want to just be able to control our lust, the Big Bool mentions that "The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking [lusting] is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker [luster]" (Beginning of Chapter 3)

That is why step one is so important, it is for us to knock into us that history has proven that that is probably not going to happen!!

So now we have the next decision to make, is it going to be all or nothing? It's up to you!

KOT!!