Hello dear brothers and freinds,
Briefly- I have been strugling on shmiras einayim for years since the age of 11 getting older it became worse and worse forming into a full blown adiction and worse things. Baruc hashem I found this lifesaver the GYE TEAM. Which gave me hope I signed up right awy for the 90 day chart first failing then bh getting back up on my recent streak of more than a month clean probably th longest clean streak in more than 10 years. It feals great being clean I just still can't stop thinking about girls even with being clean so long all day all night long my head is thinking GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS... It kills me I am clean so long bh I am so scared of falling again. Please help sincely yours-yossi thanks

When you view women solely as "girls, girls, girls", you are turning one half of humanity into an object for your physical pleasure and fulfillment of your fantasies. Viewing women and and your wife as your Ezer Knegdo and Eshes Chayil and someone who is Mkudash from the rest of the world is a place to begin in reinorienting yourself from fantasy to reality.

very powwerfull i agree 100 PERCENT TO THIS CONCEPT MR. SIM

Hey there yamsof!!

Welcome to your 90 day log!!

What have you been doing to stay clean?

Thank you for your replies. True thought that it's all a matter of perspective how you view your eishes chayil..... But I'm talking about girls like my eishes chayil how about thought of pornstars......?!?
pidani thanks for that. Well I must say that if not for me making crazy neders with the taphsic thing I would not b clean so long!

What are you doing to fill your head with good stuff? What are your triggers? There must be times when you are bored, lonely, stressed that you are more prone to using fantasy.

Many of us have found that fantasizing is a form of escape. What are you escaping from? How can you deal with life in a healthier way?

Trying NOT to think of girls will ensure that you think of them. Focus on something else
positive.

Just some things to ponder.

What gibbor is trying to point out, is that there are two types of being "clean". There is "holding my breath" and there is being "sober".

The difference is if we are constantly fighting the urge inside, and tying ourselves behind the back not to do it. "sober" is when we can see why our body is lusting in the first place, and deal with the underlying cause, thus killing the power line of the urge.

So, what are triggers? what situations bring you to lust?

Yamsof - A couple of great posts by Pidani and Gibbor, IMHO... use what they're saying as a starting point and then refer back to it to make sure you are have the proper mindset in your efforts.

May Hashem bless you with hatzlacha rabba.

thanks again for your time,
how do I get sober? Now with the taphsic thing I'm staying clean but like your saying I'm pushing it away with force?

Have you read the handbook?

There are a lot of good ideas there.

The other big yesod is to have people you can share with. The forum is a good start, but it helps more to talk on the phone, and even more in person.

I'd start with the handbook and see what speaks to you. Try some things and see how it goes. I like the practical approach. Is it working or not? Do what works.

Read the forum. There are lots of great ideas.

Staying clean is the most important thing, and if taphsik is heping you do that, then don't stop.

But as you wrote, the ideal is not to continue lusting and just not act out, the goal is how to minimize the obssesive thoughts as much as we possibly can.

As gibbor wrote, start out with the handbook, and read around the forum. See what you relate to, ask questions, share experience.

You're on the way!! You have started the journey!!! Now KOT!!!!bKOMT!!!