Hi everyone I bh reached level 5 a full 30 days clean. I was just wondering what the boys say about regrets of the past, meaning I think the push to stay clean so far was that 30 days ago I had a really bad fall and feal like a piece of---- about it. A- how do I make sure that impression lasts and if ch'v I fall again I don't fall so bad like that, and B- how do I get that fealing away that I don't feal when I do become clean that it is a fake cleaning? Thanks to everyone and especially th crowd at gye you guys are doing a great job!!!!!

First of all, welcome. Why don't you tell us more about yourself.

A - I think the motivation to not feel like you do when you fall is quite short-term. Much better to enjoy the feeling of being clean and living clean. Can you describe how much better you feel now than you did when you were falling regularly?

B - I don't thinking there's such a thing as fake clean. You're either clean or you're not. Did you do the aveiroh, yes or no? If no, don't worry about how clean you feel. Feelings are fickle.

thanks for that. What do you mean feelings are fickle?

Welcome Yamsof!!! I love the name!!

Don't be a stranger, tell us about yourself, what your struggles are, what you did these past 30 days to stay clean.

As Dr. Watson said, that bad feeling didn't stay long by me either. I knew myself that that bad feeling wouldn't stop me the next time the attack came. i needed to do something more.

We're all on the same boat, post away!!!

yamsof wrote:


Sometimes someone can do something bad but feel good about it. Like someone not-frum who proudly spoke of when they went for a charity bike ride on Shabbos. They said "G-d can't be against charity, right?"

More acute: just after a fall when we pick up our tehillim and cry to Hashem with such sincerity, and we feel really close to Him. This is the nuclear reset button Dov talks about. But did we do the right thing or the wrong thing?

Similarly there are situations where we don't feel spiritual, or 'clean', but that feeling is fickle. Were we clean or not, that's all it comes down to.

For example, women who find themselves at home on yom kippur looking after a baby feel very distant from Hashem and feel like it's wrong somehow, after all on yom kippur of course they should be in shul, right? That's not the Jewish way. We don't run our lives based on what feels good or bad. we try to do the right thing, period.

If you've been clean for 30 days you should be happy about that. It makes no difference whether you felt clean or not. Fact is, you didn't do an aveiroh. Be proud.

Ditto to what the Doc said

[This is the third time I am typing this post. This web site has connection problems and our posts get deleted after submitting them. Agav, this is a call on all of us to donate to the GYE, a well-deserving charity for sure!!!!]

One point, however…..it has been said many times on this site that for many of us (and I fall into this group) the word aveirah or the fear of Gehinnom or niduy will not prevent us from falling. It never did and never will. It is the fact that our lustful behaviors have made our lives sickly. We cannot daven, work, learn, raise a family, etc, for we are constantly on te ‘lookout’ for our next ‘fix.’ This is something we desperately want to avoid. We wanna take back our lives.

If you were clean for 30 days, be proud! You are well on your way to ‘living’ again.

B’hatzlachah