Read above.
We are all in this together.
If not for this group, I know where I would be.....(and it aint a good place to be).

Where I am there is no group SA. So I have to make 12 steps "alone", apart from the GYE forum.
Are there people who have succeeded and total abstinence? Are there testimonials?
All this tends to discourage me, if nobody came so, how could I?
I improve it's true, it's better it's true, but it will one day right?

many are over the hump
many in the process
and many struggling
and some have given up

which group would you like to be part of?

simontechouva wrote:

Why do you think that there is nobody in a situation similar to yours who is sober today?

Avram (Cordnoy) is a testimony, Dov is a testimony, and there are others who post on this forum who have some measure of sobriety. I personally know many people in SA with horrific stories who are sober today for years, and there are thousands who I do not know.

Have you checked up with the SA head office whether there is a group near where you live?

I think you must not be discouraged about this, many people succeeded to stay sober, I also succeeded to stay sober for 2 years, with no SA group...

It's a question of time, and will. One day you will be sober, you had make so much for now, I am sure that you will succeed to be really sober.

The 12 steps are our path, and many many many work is required to this goal.

Keep up !

i verified and i don't have group where i am (because for y work i travel and now i m not in a "jew"place, there is a little little community but no group SA).
I mean, what I read on the forum is that people who are sober make SA group (Dov did this, didn't he?).
It's just what I wanted to know: how to make the 12 steps alone?
David, it 's a good information for me that we were sober during two years without SA group. But how did you make your 12 steps?

When I was sober for two years and a little, it was between 2009 and 2012 : in this time, I wasn't aware of the existence of GYE (it already existed at this time ?).
So, I didn't know the existence of the 12 steps. And I wasn't aware about the concept of "depandant"

The beginning of my period of sober was after some big events in my life that plunged me into distress : no hope, crying during hours...
Before these events, I was very dependant to lust. And, in the deep of my despair, I took to me to stay clean, with an absolutely clear resolution ! That the lust driven me to this hole, and I should abandon the lust if I wanted get out of this hole.

I davened a much to hashem to help me, and I took several measures to stay clean : garding my eyes every time, staying away from internet, talking a much with the rabbis that knew my problem, taking much 'Hizuk with shiurim...
It was not the 12 steps, but there is a "family resemblance"

I was on the edge for days and weeks, but after 3 months, the things began to be better, and the need to lust decreased a lot.

So, I tell my story to say to you that all is possible : you can be sober without SA group. The 12 steps are a path, but you can do something that is like these steps and you can be so sober.
Everybody has his own path. You have to find the yours.

Maybe your path is to be sober without the SA group ? Hashem want you to that ?
About the 12 steps, I think there are people that can help you to work on these steps. Even by phone...

thank you so much David.
This is what I wanted to hear!
I'll try bli neder to fin contact by phone also.

For the story, now i try to take day after day; i don't want to think to the 90 days, even though this is a goal.
I understand that I didn't pray enough when Mr Hyde come… I try to.

I asked myself the question: have I really want to give it up to 100%? In fact I think in the beginning, you want to give up our addiction, that is our loss of freedom (often the discovery of this phenomenon is our "shock" that makes you say that there is a problem). But renounce his addiction is to say: I'm a little right from time to time. As the alcoholic says he can waive his addiction, but when it can be healed again drink a little.
This is my biggest mistake: the alcoholic can not drink. The SA can not see lust.
Ok, I sometimes still want. But if I overcome my desire is that I became a tzaddik. However, as Tanya said, we are the best Benonim. We want the YA, but fighting against. Also I do not have to be disappointed or sad to want to lust. I like that. But I do not have to look for it. The feeling dissipates bh.[/i][/b][/b]

Simon, how are you ?

Is this going better?

hello friends I had not been heard from since a long time because I was not well.
I spent two weeks to beat me against myself; filters, codes I found, ashamed to admit to my wife, new codes, new cracking, new shame ... I think the key to my problem is that I can not completely give up the desire for lust, then I know it's killing me. Tonight, the eve of Sabbath, it gets better. But I need your help, friends GYE how renounce his desire? How to control his thoughts?
shabbat shalom

What you have said reminds me of where I was not long ago... on an intellectual/rational level, I knew for a long time 100% that lusting is terrible... but on that deeper level, I craved its ability to "give me escape". But I had to learn, and I am saying it to you now, that the perception of lust's ability to "provide escape" IS A SHAM! It's a big, fat lie! I'm just back "in the soup" worse after I come down from that momentary "high" that lusting "provided". That's the realization that I had to come to before I could really, truly make any headway against lust... lust is not my friend, it is my enemy.

May Hashem grant you hatzlacha rabba.

Have a great Shabbos.

what you say is so true ! I tell that to myself, but after… Now i wrote this on my TAPSHIC method: when I have a feeling of lust, i read: this is your enemy!
Also, what i tell to me is that I don't want to look like our enemies; i mean, Edom is the master of lust, of luxury, this is their life; I don't want to look like them.
You know, in Europe where I live, there is a big increase of hate of jews (perhaps you have heard in France of the scandal "Dieudonné", this antis emit ); i mean, I don't want to look like them, and when I fall, when I enjoy looking porno, in fact I loose our battle against Edom…
And now I don't want anymore .
I try again, and I - and We, all great jews of GYE - will win
Shavua tov

Just fall… again and again…
Always in the night when I have nobody to call
this night i'm so sad...

why don't you have who to call?

either people from an sa group in france, or from the chevra here...we are mostly awake.

b'hatzlachah

Hi,
my name is Michael and I am a porn addict.

I had a recent fall too. I am trying to do this alone too and I don?t have anyone either and I am in Europe too. PM me if you are in central Europe, maybe it wouldn't be so expensive... But I must admit, I am secular and my hair is falling out.

Just a thought.

Forgive me, but do I understand you correctly!? I feel that my battling the YH didn't work so good and trying to be holy and a Tzaddik, trying to be better then the goyim and construction builders didn't work either. Fancy armor didn't help (the yarmulka, the tzitzit, the prescribed prayers, the Torah study, teshuva, the yogis, karate, Mahabharata, Supermans cape - I really tried that too... ).
I think that the only thing that helped so far was simply the first step, being powerless. To admit it. I try to do it 15 minutes at a time, just to stay 15 minutes sober at a time.

All the best to you Shimon!