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One day at a time
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: One day at a time 10317 Views

Re: One day at a time 05 Dec 2013 06:52 #224482

  • sib101854
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The more you post, and the more that you recognize that you have an addiction, that is already a great first step forward. You have to engage in both Hishtadlus and Tefilah. Here are a few eitzos that I have found that work:
1) I would suggest that you have to be very judicious in what you watch even on regular TV and non-premiumn cable, simple because there are no standards anymore.

2)On Shabbos, try to find yourself a chavrusa, a shiur, and by all means go to davening as early as possible. Think about even having a seder for learniong on these long Friday nights. There's nothing wrong in falling asleep over a sefer!

3)On the long Shabbos afternoons, avoid being by yourself at all costs.

Re: One day at a time 09 Dec 2013 04:33 #224654

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Life is better without p**n. Trust me, I have firsthand experience. I only realize this after a fall though (like right know). The growth that occurs with each fall is very clear however, and I thank Hashem for that. I can see that I don’t want to fall anymore. It’s just a part of me now. This is bad because it shows how addicted I am, but at the same time good because deep down even while I’m doing a sin, I know that it is wrong. I just don’t have the guts to fight that need. The Yetzer hara takes me and I forget that I have the key to wiggle out: Hashem. I just forget.
The Yetzer Hara also makes me “forget” AKA avoid posting on GYE. “It’s not necessary,” he tells me, “you have better things to do.” I buy into it thinking that not wasting time on GYE is the right thing to do. The only way to keep it real and not fall into these traps is to stay consistent. Davening is a must. But I need to daven for the right stuff. When I do what I am supposed to, I remain clean! I feel the growth, and am able to enjoy life.
I know that I should not expect too much from myself. That’s when selfishness and lack of God begins to creep in. ONE STEP AT A TIME. The hard part is figuring out how big of a step to take. Right now I am in high school. Although it is a religious all boys high school, a lot of my friends have just as much of a problem in these areas as I do. Nobody openly talks about it. We joke around about it. Its just a part of life to some of them. I belive that I get hurt when I see how little they care. The worst part is, I do not really know what to do to help them. I cannot scream at them or tell them what they are doing is ruining everything. They know that. Plus, that would make me a hypocrite. In today’s world, living a normal life involving movies, smartphones, and the internet all over is bound to lead to a lust addiction! Those who fight p**nography are the minority, and that’s what makes it so tough.
So what is expected of me? I have problems in this area. I know that God whould not have given them to me if I couldn’t defeat them. At the same time, there is no way that I could just stop. And that’s why I guess that it’s OK that I fell. What’s not OK is the way that I did it. I’m sneaky. I hide it. I’m a liar. That’s what’s killing me. I think that if that high that one gets when they “get away with it” is the true problem. I was told something of the sorts by a therapist when I was younger (my parents caught me doing some dumb stuff.)
Please let me know if you agree or disagree. I need you guys!

Re: One day at a time 10 Dec 2013 06:57 #224702

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you are on the right path. Work on one day at a time-don't think in terms of grandiose plans. Just remember-Tefilah with Kavanah and Limud HaTorah B "Ameilus, and not just because it is a subject in high school, are your best weapons.

Re: One day at a time 10 Dec 2013 07:01 #224703

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As far as movies are concerned, try to be judicious in what you see-the ratings system is a joke, as is the same on TV. A smartphone with too many bells and whistles, even for an adult, let alone a teenager, is an expensive toy. Don't ever think that a Facebook friend or the equivalent is a real friend who will be there for a simcha or Bes Tzarah.

Re: One day at a time 10 Dec 2013 07:03 #224704

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One more point-the net has as much Taharah and Torah as tumaah-but we should never think that downloading a shiur or drasha is anywhere close to developing a Pshat or chiddush in a Rishon.

Re: One day at a time 10 Dec 2013 16:50 #224734

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Hey there LEARNING!!!

I can completely relate with the lying, hiding. It wasn't even so much lyiig to others, but rather lying to myself "I can do this, it's just a passing problem, it won't happen again" but I never looked at what was happening, and what should make it change.

Realizing that I had a problem that I didn't know how to fix was the first step for me. BH, I opened up to a friend and together we realized that we weren't getting anywhere.

So back to the basic question, You have BH realized that you have a problem that you want to stop, but you can't. So what are you doing about it?
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov
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