It does relax me, for those few moments. But the price is too high

It has nothing to do with porn for me. It doesn't even have to do with fantasizing. it's just like an itch that I have to scratch. I'm not saying I don't have problems with porn and fantasies, but they are not my biggest problem. My biggest challenge is that while I'm trying to concentrate on something, I will get this "pressure" down there (I don't know how to describe it other than to compare it to an itch), and I feel like I just have to relieve it. Yeah, it's weird.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

I often feel a compulsion to look at some pictures. Sometimes I don't even have any particular urge or lust for it, I just have to look, it's like I'm not in control of my hands when I type it in. It's a very hard habit to break.

Same thing with masturbation, I find I have a need to do it even if I don't have any particular lust to dispel. I sometimes start doing in on autopilot and only realise I've started after a few seconds.

Well, not today I didn't. yay!

RYS, are you saying your problem is masturbation not so much porn? Is that what you mean by 'pressure down there'

Yes!

RoshYeshivasSon wrote:


Absolutely. My problem is the void that i feel, and i have been trying to fill that void with lust.

Lust was the answer, not the problem.

Thank G-d, today i choose to fill that void with spirituality, with the help of the 12 step program.

In the book Alcoholics Anonymous it describes that "itch" as "restless, irritable and discontent...".

happy sukkot!

A Freilichen Isru chag!

RoshYeshivasSon wrote:


yup! You took the words out of my mouth.

But its the y'h putting it in our brains that its an itch we gotta scratch. In reality we really have the power with lots of work to control the itch.

My experience is very similar.

I sometimes find myself thinking lustful thoughts, or wanting to look at inappropriate things, which of course leads to acting out, but usually it's this pull to just do it to get it over with. And if that includes getting 'worked up' first, then that's a part of it.

I call it yiush. Meaning, I won't control myself forever (says who?), so why not get it over with now, then I'll be calmer?
But yes, I can also see it as too much pressure to humanly handle.

One Moment At A Time works wonders, at least for me. It's not easy, but it helps take off the imagined pressure, the false prophecy that I cant/won't be able to fight it. By really working on THIS moment, past and future don't exist to bring me down- at least not for that moment!