After joining the forum and posting looking for eitzos and chizuk a couple of months ago, (which I am happy to say I recieved on both accounts, thank you all) I reached a point where I felt comfortable trying to "move on" with life, stopped posting, stopped updating my chart for a little, and sort of adopted a "ignore the yeitzer and it will go away" mehalech. Bad move (anyone surprised?).

After having a few shvere weeks of falling, I kind of pulled myself out of my rut (or I should say Hashem pulled me out; where would I be if I had to fend for myself?) and am back on the right track now, B"H.

My point is, while I may have some outstanding "technical issues" to resolve (i.e. my work computer's filter is still broken, which I am not quite sure how that happened, or if there is a feasible way to either fix it or install something else, not as easy as it sounds, but I am getting off topic...), I think that what I really need to do is post my progress on a very regular basis on the forum, whether or not I have something intelligent to say. I would like to be mekabel this commitment to post every day that I am at work (my ikar makom sakana) and able to post, with a little more than a בלי נדר, but less than a נדר (at least for now)(does such a madreiga even exist?). So hopefully, if you are reading this, you should expect to hear from me on a regular basis (five days a week, Monday thru Friday) unless I am really bogged down with legitimate work stuff that I don't have time to post (halevai, kein yehi ratzon).

So, without further ado (drumroll, please).......Ahem...

Today is July 8, 2013, ראש חדש מנחם אב, ה'תשע"ג, and I am clean today! (and have been for about a week now, but why bring up irrelevant matters!?)

See you tomorrow!

Nice you see you again Mr. Shteiger .

Welcome Back!! and keep up shteiging!!

coming back is a sign of shteiging

we look forward to the daily post

Today is ב' מנחם אב, התשע"ג, Tuesday, July 9, 2013 למנינם. TODAY I am clean. (90 days is too overwhelming. I prefer one day at a time.)

ברוך ד' יום יום

P.S. Hope I am not boring you yet. I also hope I am not boring myself yet. As tedious as this endeavor is, I think it's thereputic, no?

I forgot to mention my hakaras hatov to those of you who welcomed me back so warmly. I am happy to be back, and I certainly don't want to be getting in anyone's way by becoming a regular poster.

See you tomorrow!

ג' מנחם אב, ה'תשע"ג - July 10, 2013 (Lehavdil). [I know every post is time-stamped, but I want to write something so it's not too boring.]

Today, I am clean. That's all that matters.

I would like to start a category called "On the way to 1 day" and get to the "finish line" every day. I think its a better attitude than 90 days with a milestone every week. Who is with me?

I am with you in theory

some days are harder than others

the big difficulty with that is if one falls two or three times; he doesn't have the incentive for a long streak

the long ones, at the end, are well worth it

My work filter was zoche to techiyas hamaisim today. I found out on none other than GYE as I was trying to check out the 90-day Personal Chart section, and saw the following music to my eyes:

Internet Access Notification

Per company policy you have been denied access to the URL:
docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://guardyoureyes.com/media/charts/personal-chart-282...

The website you are requesting has been blocked in accordance with company policy. If you believe you have received this message erroneously, or if you believe there is a valid business reason for access to this site, please contact...

ברוך מחיה המתים!

הבא ליטהר מסייעין אותו

Today is ד' מנחם אב ה'תשע"ג, July 11, 2013. Today, I am clean. Moreover, today it is busy here at work and I don't even have time to think about shmutz. This is not always a given, and I don't take it for granted. I daven that every day should be as busy as today, because I don't have energy to fight the yetzer hara.

I was just reading Blind Beggar's thread where Dov was giving a shmooze about how the chart is not the ikkar, and the focus has to be on being clean today. I think that that is what I am trying to accomplish on my thread here. Last time, I was excited with my moving up the chart (I made it up to 54 days), I was updating it every day until day 40 or so, and then somehow I decided to take my focus off of this issue and worry about other things, and only update my chart once or twice a week. Well, that didn't work so well. After maybe a week off slacking off from posting every day, I started to dall. I had a few weeks of falling on and off. It makes 90 days, which originally didn't seem like such a big effort for me to accomplish, seem a little scary and overwhelming.

So now, I am trying this new attitude. Every day that I am clean is the finish line all over again. I don't know, maybe its a bigger and better finish line every day. That's why I am trying to emphasize to myself each day that *TODAY* I am clean, and thats all that counts. I don't need the 90 day finish line to scare me away from the 1 day finish line, which is just as important.

I am also trying to not be scared to post every day, even if I have nothing to say besides my basic update. It's better to just keep posting consistently, even if it is boring or annoying or whatever, than to stop posting and possibly open up a door to an eventual attack from the yetzer. (Especially after seeing some of the narishkeit topics that some of the regulars talk about here (no offense to anyone), I don't feel so bad. It's free to post, right?

tryingtoshteig wrote:


Never be scared of posting, and if you amy think that it is too boring, add some narishkeiten, it's free, no?

tryingtoshteig wrote:


Keep on posting. The only thing that would be annoying is to think that you can't post your progress. Another clean day, is something new to post about. Keep it up, and much Hatzlacha Yom Yom.

Thanks for the encouragement, guys. In real life, I am more of a quiet person, at least in public around people I don't know so well, but I think that on an anonymous forum like this, I can gain a lot by opening up.

Today is ה' מנחם אב, ה'תשע"ג, July 12, 2013. Today, I am sober.

Have a good Shabbos everyone.

Thanks for the update!!

Have a great shabbos!!!!

I'm a pretty quiet person too. But, opening up on this forum and calling some people, and meeting some people has made all the difference. I wandered a bit out of my comfort zone, and B"H it has been a BIG bracha! It has been the biggest key to my sobriety.