gibbor120 wrote:


Halevai she would care... she says all of us are creeps and pervs.
Isn it great to have a supportive wife?

reallygettingthere wrote:

if i wouldnt have hands c"v i wouldnt be able to type

How long has she known that you had a problem? How did she find out? You may have posted it already, I don't remember.

we're married for 9 1/2 months, she knows for 5.
and she busted me twice in the act, a few other times saw my gye history telling others i fell, and most recently saw all the evidence of my fall this morning

Her feelings are completely understandable, especially since you have been married so short and she got this shock pretty soon after the chasunah... and you clearly continue to struggle.

What are you doing to show her that you are changing? Have you discussed with your rav? Have you gone for therapy?

well im on gye, and no, and no-she doesnt want me to

Sounds like she might not understand the scope of the issue.

Is there a Rov the she respects? Maybe you need to speak with that rov and have him speak with her.

On a "side" note, when she caught you, what did you say or do to respond to her accusations?

So, what does she want? Wait, let me asnwer that. She doesn't know what she wants. She is confused. Am I right?

Either way, it sounds like you need help beyond this forum. I feel for you. You are in a tough spot.

My wife found out after we were married for a while and had a relationship with a rav. our rav helped us out a lot.

she doesnt want to talk to anyone... and shes pissing me off right now, because she went thru all my gye stuff

Well, if she is reading...

Dear Mrs. Lizhensk,

I know you are angry and confused. You feel hurt and betrayed. All those feelings are very normal and understandable. You have a hard time understanding how the person you married, who you held in such high esteem, could do such disgusting things.

My wife felt the same way, as do many wives who'se husbands have this problem. I went to a good yeshiva, learned in kollel etc. My wife could not understand how I could do such things.

Let me tell you, there is help and many have been helped. My marriage is far from perfect, but my wife and I have come closer, yes closer, from this nisayon. I know it is hard for you to beleive, but it can get better. But, your husband needs outside help, and you need to encourage him to get help.

Ignoring this problem will not make it go away. You can both be happy and have a happy marriage, but it will take work, and he can't do it alone.

Many people have been in your position, and have been able to overome adversity and create a wonderful marriage.

With the help of Hashem, I hope you will too.

gibbor120 wrote:


Amazing!!! thanx! i read this to my wife (we made up last night) and even though she isnt ready to actively help and support me, she promised not to hinder my efforts to heal (by going thru my posts, chats and emails and making fun and bothering me about them) and also, shes starting to believe that some poeple on here might be normal
So, im starting my count again... day 1 so far going good, even tho i davened a little further from home and had to walk more, the YH tried to make me look, and even tho i took the first look, i didnt take the second and third looks. (help me out TZ )

Hurray!!!
Back on the road, out of the (s)pit stop!!!

We should start a campaign "PLEASE HELP LIZHENSK" (9753 without a 1 at the end)

KOT y'all (from my home town) KOMT

Lizhensk wrote:

oy vay, really? that worries me

Hey y'all the fast is going great surprisingly, i usually slip when i have too much time on my hands, but im ok. especially thanx to the puzzle my wife bought for us to do together