I'm signing in to say I've been clean, 50 days now in my new count. had a great day today, loads of potential shmiras enayim problems, but managed to see, notice real people and not take a second check out look, majority of the time.
Here's a question for you, I noticed a site I can get onto to watch tv programs, I had thought it had been filtered out, do I add it to my black list now, or leave it on and trust myself not to go there?
I maybe should black list it anyway to stop family members going there.

What do you have to lose by blacklisting it?

israel613120 wrote:


Thanks for sharing that.

Well done, and here's to another day...!

Oh by the way, did you ever manage to build your sucka, in the end...?

Yes thanks the succah went up in between rain drops, but now amazing, I don't remember such a dry succos in England! But "Al tiftach peh...!"

Another good day, maybe not as great as yesterday but still pretty good BH in the Shmiras Enayim area.
Got into an argument which is never fun (nothing to do with GYE or shmiras enayim/lust)

Had a hard Friday and Shabbos, with shmiras enayaim. Even noticing real people was quite triggering, hope it doesn't lead to anything more.

I think it's up to you whether it leads there or not. If you tell yourself you are at the mercy of the yetzer you will stop fighting. You cannot lose if you never stop fighting and you get busy living your life.

An Update
I blacklisted one tv site, but only to find I could get another tv watching site, which I kept for a couple of weeks, and I caught up with some old tv episodes and a couple of films. Not bad, not even triggering, but I know where this leads, and I keep telling everyone how strong my filter is an the internet should not be used for entertainment.
So although I watched no porn, BH, I was doing that double life thingy again.
Today I blacklisted that site as well, and I must admit it was really hard to do, as I still like to watch the odd movie or too. This I feel I can't give up forever, do I need to?

israel613120 wrote:


What would you say if I asked you the same question?

O.K I've got to over 90 days now, BH
but I've started to have some slips, my shmiras enayim has dropped, I took a third look! (or peek and only then looked away for good)
and a couple of movies, nothing bad, but still.

Mazel Tov!

90 days is great, but not the goal - Keep moving forward!

Use the awareness that you have in regard to what you have been allowing yourself to become stronger.

Hatzlacha!

Congrats on the 90 days!!!!

As skep said, if we make 90 days a goal, then why continue fighting after we've reached it?

My personal goal is to stay clean NOW!! Today!! I celebrate everyday, it's amazing to me that I am still clean, today.

KOT!!!

KUTGW!!!

I had a bad slip, but I'm going to keep going, to be clean for now, today
please Hashem give me the strength to continue.
I need to keep busier, I had too much time on my hands and started to feel a little down. Old triggers!

Really not proud and embarrassed to report, returned to a old habit, which I've not done in ages


BH now p*** in more than 100 days. I feel I have to keep working to become super clean, not just clean.

Having a really hard time over Channuka, I think its the YH working overtime 'coz he knows the tremendous Kedusha that can be gained around this time.
Anyway really slipping now, last night with trailers, today on You tube

May fall all the way.
I'm thinking of resetting the 90 days just to give me the chizzuk

israel613120 wrote:

This seems to be a recurring problem with a lot of guys here. They hit 90 days and then start wondering why at 100 + days they are still struggling. I too learnt it the hard way.

The fact that you were sober for 90 days is really amazing and a wonderful gift but it will not keep you sober toady if you do not do what it takes to stay clean toady.

One day at a time!

May HaShem grant us a sober and sane day.