Hello Everybody,
B"H things are going well. The RBS"O has been answering my tefilos and protecting me form lust. The RBS"O must know I am really serious this time because I gave up complete control of my computer filters. I was always so afraid to give up control and that I need access to my drug but now I see it was just the Y"H trying to prevent this step. Not only do I not feel anxious about not having any access to shmutz, in fact I feel liberated. Thank you RBS"O for protecting me.

Hello My Dear Friends,
B"H things have been going very well and I am not feeling RID. I think alot has to do with the fact that I am working face to face with a good personal friend so it is very real. I daven every tefilah to HKB"H to protect me from my Lust and he is. I also have special Kavonah by Krias Shma to be mekabel oil malchus shamayim which is a big segula to get s'yata d'shmaya for protection from Lust.
Thank you HKB"H for giving me the tools to recover from this horrible nisayon.

Hello My Dear Friends,
Just checking in to share that I feel that I am getting my bechirah back. I used to have no chance of resisting the urge to view porn and of course it always ended in a release. Now, although the urge is still there, it is not nearly as strong and I am able to choose not to succumb. My sponsor asked me why I think this is. I told him that of course my constant tefilla to HKB"H has resulted in a miracle. But I always davened for freedom from this disease? I think this time HKB"H sees that I actually want him to protect me from the lust. I have set up ironclad filters and I work the steps weekly in person with my sponsor. I also make sure to constantly serve my family and think of their needs. I call my wife every day when she finishes work to thank her for helping with our parnossa, I clear off the table and get up from my seat to "pass the juice" to my children who are across the table. I insist on taking carpool whenever I can and I try to inconvenience myself to help others as much as I can. This breaks down the extreme selfishness I have in me that induces my affinity for porn and masturbation.
But truthfully, I don't need to know exactly what is working. I am just happy that I am getting my life back.
Thank you HKB"H and Thank You my dear sponsor.

pischoshelmachat wrote on 22 Feb 2016 22:05:

And thank you!
This should be a poster post on many threads.

Hello My Dear Friends,
Lately, I have read the threads from newcomers who are viewing YouTube, porn and masturbating. I have the urge to scream from the depths of my very being to warn them how quickly and easily they can slip to much worse things from there. But I know my warnings and screams are useless. They must discover this for themselves. I hope that they find their rock bottom much before they even get close to it. Yesterday, I typed up a long post on a newcomers thread and it got zapped before I could post it. I took that as a signal from the RBS"O that I shouldn't be so heavy on a newcomer.
I am just so concerned to help others avoid the horrible path that porn will lead to if not stopped in its tracks.
May HKB"H grant us all the sanity and clarity to save ourselves from this horrible nisayon!

Hello My Dear Friends,
I am checking in to let you know that I am still working hard and HKB"H is helping me and protecting me.

pischoshelmachat wrote on 10 Mar 2016 15:27:

Good to hear from you pichso, keep it up. 
(P.S. Mayby you can put in a good word with Hashem for those of us still here. :-) )

stillgoing wrote on 10 Mar 2016 17:01:

SG, you can do it yourself, it's even easier.

As we are approaching the days of geulah with Purim and Pesach there are some massive opportunities for yeshuos in these times.
Look at the posts from Alex Eliezer. He wrote about a great segula during the seder that helped him tremendously get on the path to recovery.

Here is a link and a copy of what he wrote.

Please see my other post/thread for my personal story and how this worked for me. 
This is based on a shiur available for download here: 

www.jewishpulseradio.com/2011/03/torah-this-week-higher-order-of-the-seder/ 

by Rabbi Yaakov Labinsky (of Aish) entitled "Higher order of the Seder."  This is but a distillation and the reader is encouraged to listen to the original Shiur. 

The avodah of the Pesach Seder is to go from avdus to cheirus.  Avdus means a physical, body orientation to life.  Cheirus means a spiritual orientation.  (For us, our avdus is our addiction.)  According to the Arizal, there is a special koach in the Pesach Seder (first night only) called "dilug." This means jumping over, or passing over levels.  Normally, teshuva must be done in a stepwise fashion.  If a person rises too far too fast there is increased danger of return to old habits.  On Pesach night, these rules are suspended, and a person can pass over levels not possible the rest of the year.  But you must be prepared. 

During the weeks leading up to the Seder, clean out the chometz in your spiritual life as best you can.  And physically clean those rooms where your aveiros are done (I suggest the computer room and bedroom).  Don't look at women.  [my addition: If you need to (and can keep it), take a vow that you won't do _______ from Rosh Chodesh Nisan until at least after Pesach.  You can do it!] 

Erev Pesach, when burning the chometz, visualize your yetzer for lust being burned. 

This is your kavanah during the seder: 
There are four l'shonos of geula, three of which represent release from degrees of enslavement.  (In our case, enslavement to the yetzer hora for lust.)  The first cup of wine goes with the first lashon, "v'hotzaysi."  With the kiddush and drinking of the first cup, know that you are being taken out of the most severe level of enslavement.  Next is the cup for "v'hitzalti."  Saying the hagaddah and drinking this cup will free you from the next, somewhat lighter level of enslavement.  Eat the matza and be humbled.  Eat the maror and think about how bitter it is to be enslaved to the yetzer hora for lust.  [The seder is already supposed to be a personal re-enactment of the avdus and y'tzia.  This is using that re-enactment with an additional layer, a particular yetzer hora.] 

With the third cup, over bircas hamazon, all remaining vestiges of the enslavement will be removed from you.  You are now free, but in great danger, because nature abhor's a vacuum.  So the fourth cup, representing "v'lakachti" is drunk soon after the third.  The tfilos we say over the fourth cup have to do with the future.  With v'lakachti, we ask Hashem to take us for his.  We commit ourselves to be his slave, rather than the slave of what we were just released from.  Drink to your new relationship with the Borai Olam! 

I used this approach, together with the 12 steps,  two three years ago, and have never relapsed.  I continue to daven for sobriety and shmira in this area, and continue to work on this and other areas of yiras shomayim.  More recently, I am working on those aspects of my personality that were most affected by my addiction, including working on being more of a giver.  Addiction stunts our personal growth.  In recovery we can resume growing. 

Chag Kasher Vsamayach, 

Alex

Since Alex is so extremely inspiring, here is a link to his forum post

Dear Friends,
This week I went to visit a 60 something year old unrecovered sex addict who is dying in the hospital. He was crying all day and night about how horrible his life is and how hard he has it. The nurse told him "why don't you focus on your friends and family around you who love you and care about you rather than focusing on your self 24/7/365?".
This simple statement shot through me like a thunderbolt. This man is so caught up with himself that he ruined all his relationships. He lost his wife who left him and has limited contact with his children who he has alienated, yet he is convinced that he is the victim and everyone around him is to blame. Now he is sick and dying in a hospital. It is so sad to see that his rock bottom seems only to be death itself.
I know that this could be me in no time if I allow the monster to even breathe for a moment in my head. Make no mistake, the Y"H or lust or the addiction, whatever you want to call it wants to kill us in this world and the next and he will never ever stop trying his best to fulfill his mission.
B"H I have a strong protector, HKB"H, who after I fianlly let him, is protecting me 24/7/365.
How tragic is the life of this patient. His life could be so wonderful if only he opened his mind.

Hello My Dear Friends,
This week I met for the first time in real life, face to face, with a chaver from GYE. Make no mistake, it was very nice to have met you (you know who you are) and face the cold reality of meeting with a real person who knows much of my sordid past, but I was still quite traumatized. I met this person on my turf, in my shul, where I maintain the life of the me that I like, the me that I want people to think I am, not the me who did the things that I am so embarrassed about. Yet, in my shul, I was forced to face the reality of who I am, of the secrets that I keep. I wonder if that is how Haman felt when Mordechai lifted his sole and showed all that Haman was no great Viceroy, but rather a petty slave.
As I felt this gentleman's glare (real or perceived), I felt like a video of my "mitzvos and maasim tovim" was being projected on the wall for all my friends and community to see. I felt exposed, defenseless and humiliated.
Of course no such thing happened but I was really hit hard by facing this reality with no place to escape from it. I might seem like a pretty decent guy but he knows that I am not the saint I try to portray myself as.

I was just beginning to thrive in my new lust free life, enjoying my family, my learning, my davening and now I feel shackled being forced to wear the past around my neck forever.
I want to forget the person I was and nurture and grow the new person I have become that I am proud of and overjoyed with. I feel like I have overcome the greatest challenge of my life yet I now know that I am shackled by it forever.

I will not let this feeling drag me down because I know that I can do nothing to change the past. My only power is to change the future and that is the only place I will focus my efforts. I have accepted this pain from HKB"H as my atonement for my misdeeds and am very grateful that he is inflicting me with my imaginary humiliation rather than real humiliation which would be truly devastating. Regardless, I accept with ahava and simcha whatever HKB"H wills for me as I know he is doing it only for my best interests.

Did you ask for this meeting, or it just happened?

It just happened that he davened in my shul. We know each other on GYE for years so we said hello in real life.

I'm sure he wasn't judging you, or even thinking about the things you've shared with him in the past. Most likely, he was just happy to have finally met you, his friend, in person.

Of course I know he was not judging me, but it still stung. He was caring and very nice and sincerely happy to meet me as I was as well.