serenity wrote:


How true that is but today I want to wish you a special Mazel Tov on reaching 90 days. 90 days is significant because it is at this point that you have successfully caused physical changes in your brain wiring that will make it easier to fight this daily battle.
Bderech shadam rotzeh lelech... clearly it is a day by day struggle but this milestone is quite significant.
May HKBH put all the pain behind you and may your life now become the dream you have always had full of serenity, purity, nachas, parnossa, health, wealth and happiness with a special love, closeness and intimacy with your wife and the RBSO.

Thank you brother.

pischoshelmachat your posts are raw honesty with particular attention to regret and worries of retribution by Hashem.
In the shaarei Teshuva it talks about aveiros that are only cleansed by - lo aleinu-yisurim. It's been a long time but I recall it being written there that even in such cases Limud Hatorah together with chesed can take away the need for yisurim.
If anyone knows what I mean please be so kind to quote the text appropriately or else I will bli neder look it up later.

The chesed you do by your posts should not to be minimized.

I was listening to a CD of Bob & Scott from AA. One of the things they were talking about was who are the 12 steps for? (and I would extend that to whatever program you are working that is working for you.) It isn't for the person who wants it. It isn't even for the person who needs it. It's for the person who does it.

They were talking about a friend who was a religious man. A very knowledgeable man of the cloth. He was a true believer in religion and in God. Yet this man could never get sobriety and died a lonely alcoholic death. Bob or Scott said that he isn't any where as religious or knowledgeable as this friend of his was. The belief or knowledge isn't what saved him. In fact he was an atheist when he came to AA. They had him, an atheist, on his knees praying and turning his power over to a higher power that he really had no understanding of. That's part of the amazing part of AA/SA or I think any program of action that works for you, you don't have to understand it or believe in it. You just have to do it.

They talk about a guy that just got pulled out of the jungle somewhere and he is put into a room. He's told that if he flips the switch on the wall, the room will fill with light. Whether or not he believes that or not, it will happen. God is there for us, we just have to get ourselves out the way and let Him in.

Hatzlacha!

yiraishamaim wrote:


Thank you. I have seen you reference the Shaarei Tshuvah several times in your posts and because of this, I have taken up learning Shaarei Tshuvah daily to help me in my quest for Tshuvah. He tells us to keep a log of our daily aveiros to track our progress. Do you do this? Do people carry a notebook around or do they just write the log at night? I am just wondering what other people do to attain tshuvah? I am embarrassed to ask my Rov what to do.

I am starting to see that I don't need to understand, I just need to do something. Doing something works so much better than hoping to do everything.

cordnoy wrote:

I'd also been confused whom you were talking to... So it was meB) I will BN let you know how I'm celebrating - if I reach there - which al pi teva I shouldn't..
Bi Moish made contact with me. Thank you.

shlomo613 wrote:


nice to see the positive attitude

A Gutte Voch Dear Friends
90 days is around the corner and the YH is blocking the path with rpg's, machine gun fire, bombs and even some chemical and nuclear bombs.
I am feeling the itch but I cannot fall prey this time. I must stay sober today.

the y"h does not have on him all that ammunition.

it is times of shalom, and his weapons of mass destruction are kept deep in the forest.

cordnoy wrote:

What does this cryptic post mean?

shlomo613 wrote:


check out the Gemora in HaKones

it means that we are simply conjurin' up this entire battlefield

and as Big Moish is apt to say: We have met the enemy, and it is I.

pischoshelmachat wrote:

When I quote the Sharei teshuva it is from learning of many years ago. I view his work with great awe as one should of a true RISHON. I refer to his ideas and hashgafa. However, I once heard that his way of logging avairos was wonderful in earlier generations. We however should log our successes. The forum's idea of counting our days of Sobriety and giving awards at various times is a good example of this approach.
We need constant patting on the back. Of course when we truly earn it by relying on Hashem and following a proper plan of action/inaction as advised by those more knowledgeable and experienced than ourselves.

Thank you yiras.
I realize that I always need chizzuk and I have to take every opportunity to be mechazek myself because otherwise, lapesach chatos rovetz.

Mazel tov on 90!
How does it feel?

continued hatzlachah