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Hashem, please open up the road for me!!!
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 92241 Views

Re: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 06 Oct 2013 22:58 #220364

What a beautiful Shabbos. I love the kedusha of Shabbos where I am surrounded by my family and friends and protected from the YH.

Re: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 15 Oct 2013 20:37 #221199

I am so glad to have GYE. We all must appreciate how lucky we are. See this article below about a man who has no hope like us and feels helpless.

DEAR AMY: I have been happily married for 21 years. Communication is great, we rarely argue and we spend a lot of time together. We have two wonderful teen daughters.

Unfortunately, I have a major problem. I am completely consumed by lust. I was faithful the first 15 years of marriage but for the past six years I have had intimate affairs with 23 (and counting) girls in their 20s. I hook up with them on "------" websites.

Thankfully this terrible action on my part has not caused any financial burden or STDs. I have considered seeing a sex therapist but I think my urges are too strong to fix. Recent example: I was shopping and came upon a hot 20-something. The second I saw her, my heart rate doubled and I had butterflies in my stomach. I started to approach her for a potential date but she walked away.

Believe it or not, I am a Christian and a churchgoer. I have extreme remorse over my behaviour but can't stop it. Sometimes I think it would be best if I simply filed for divorce so I don't continue hurting people. -- Hopeless in the Suburbs

DEAR HOPELESS: Divorcing your wife will not diminish the hurt you are causing -- it doesn't even touch the damage you are doing to yourself (and others).

You sign your letter "Hopeless," which illustrates the personal hell of an addiction that is consuming you. The description of your physical sensations and intention to approach a stranger in a store for sex puts you in the predator category. This compulsion is personally and spiritually degrading. It is also in direct conflict with your stated personal values.

There is help for you, but you need to be honest with your wife, admit your powerlessness over this and seek professional help and treatment. The next time you are tempted to use the Internet to hunt for another sugar baby, I hope you will be brave enough to find help for yourself instead. The Society for the Advancement for Sexual Health offers information and links to articles, professionals and 12-step groups on its website: SASH.net.
Last Edit: 15 Oct 2013 20:56 by ZemirosShabbos. Reason: removed website name

Re: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 20 Oct 2013 18:55 #221473

My Dear Friends,
Please daven for me and ask HKB"H to accept my tefilla and grant my request.
RBS"O, I had to come into my office this morning to get some work done. I am overwhelmed with work which I am also thankful for the Shefa on Parnassa that you give me. You know that every time I am alone in my office, terrible things happen to me. My brain is wired that when I come to the office on Sunday, it is "Treated" to Lust, Porn, and Masturbation. I want today to be different so I have done the following hishtadlus. I called my sponsor for some chizzuk. He suggested I start with a kapitel tehillim which I said. He suggested I listen to music so i am now listening to Jewish Broadcast at Mostly Music.
I also read some posts on the forum which are generally very helpful to me. I redoubled my knowledge of a marriage be all about giving to my wife and not using her as a toy to pleasure me which helped subdue the lusting in my mind and heart. And finally, I am reaching out to you RBS"O and all my friends to help me stay safe in the office today and accomplish what I came for.
I have prepared for a full hour.
I beg you RBS"O with my entire heart..Please keep me safe from harm and get me out of this office accomplished and improved.
You know I only come here to fulfill my responsibility to my family to support them, You know i have to make chasunah and need the funds to pay my bills, you know that I try to be ehrlich and am so humble by the realization that I am powerless against the YH and that I cannot do this without your protection and help.
Please HELP ME!!

Re: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 20 Oct 2013 19:12 #221474

  • ddmm11219
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חזק חזק ונתחזק
together me and u and u and me will ask hashem and והוא יושיעינו
...וְאִם גַּם אֶתְאַמֵּץ בְּעֵצוֹת וְתַחְבֻּלוֹת וְכָל יוֹשְׁבֵי תֵבֵל יַעַמְדוּ לִימִינִי לְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְלִתְמֹךְ נַפְשִׁי, מִבַּלְעֲדֵי עֻזְּךָ וְעֶזְרָתְךָ אֵין עֶזְרָה וִישׁוּעָה...‬

מתוך תפילה נפלאה שחיבר הרה"ק רבי מאיר מאפטא זצוק"ל, בעל מחבר ספר "אור לשמים", ונדפסה בתחילת ספרו.

Re: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 21 Oct 2013 06:56 #221496

B"H with the help of HKBH I had a very clean and productive day at the office. Thank you so much to my sponsor and to Avraham for reaching out to me. Your chizzuk saved me from a situation that I always thought to be helpless. This program of avoiding isolation and the whole 12 step process is really starting to work.
HKBH, please help me tomorrow again.

Starting All Over Again 23 Dec 2013 08:15 #225449

Good Evening My Dear GYE Friends,
It is now abundantly clear to me that the only way I can get a taste of the sweetness of sobriety is with the help of my dear GYE friends. I had planned to ride along on DC latest cruise but I missed the boat. I have been very busy at work and had not had the time to join the conference calls. Funny, I had many extra hours to surf shmutz and masturbate. I get so much chizzuk from posting and getting emails and responses from all of my friends here. So, my focus for the next few weeks will be to post at least once each day and read all responses to my posts.
Please help me taste from the sweetness that you are enveloped in.
thank you so much!

Re: Starting All Over Again 23 Dec 2013 08:57 #225452

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Welcome back!!

Can't wait for all the action!!

what's the plan (besides for posting)?
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Starting All Over Again 23 Dec 2013 09:17 #225454

Dear Pidaini,
Thank you for your response. I see you are challenging me for a serious and earnest plan. My sweetest time with this struggle has been when I was in close contact with a GYE friend, speaking almost daily but trading emails more frequently than that. It kept me clean for my longest stretch without white knuckling.
I have not communicated with this friend for several months. I just got an email from him 1/2 hour ago asking me to get back in touch. This was a direct communication from the RBS"O that he is waiting for me to make my move. I am trembling from this soft touch from the RBS"O.
That said, please share with me more ideas to help me and I will be quite grateful.

Re: Starting All Over Again 23 Dec 2013 11:36 #225457

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Being in touch with another person is the best I can give you!!

BUT, I once saw a line from Dov in the chizzuk email Dov wrote:
"Get yourself a group of friends you can call


Anyone else who is sober can help you with weak moments, by calling them, admitting it as plainly and clearly as you are able, and letting go of it with Hashem's help so that you can get back to whatever the heck you were supposed to be doing before the stupidity.

I called my sponsor plenty of times during those weak and scary moments, but please do not lock yourself into one person. Honesty and freedom from lust is just too precious a thing to be dependent on one person for."


Also, do you work any specific method with your friend?

KOMT!!! You are on the way, just KOT!!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov
Last Edit: 23 Dec 2013 11:39 by Pidaini.

Re: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 23 Dec 2013 11:42 #225458

Thank you. I have 4 people that I "met" at DC's conference call who gave me their numbers.I call them when I cannot get my sponsor or chaver. Are you able to talk from time to time?

Re: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 01 Jan 2014 22:51 #225960

Hello My Dear Friends,
I am here to admit how I failed to honour my commitment to post and connect daily and I have paid dearly with additional falls. Today i am here because I have some spare time not having to work. Please help be mechazek me , all my dear friends. If I don't post, please send me a message to help keep me safe.
Thank you so much!

Re: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 02 Jan 2014 00:52 #225964

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People can reach out from time to time to say hi, but ultimately you have to reach out for help, and cannot rely on others to reach out to you. Stay connected to people. Especially when you are feeling weak.

Hatzlacha!

Re: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 02 Jan 2014 17:48 #225985

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I have found that unless I get comfortable with someone before the weak moment, then I don'thave the courage to reach out to a stranger and open up while in a weak moment.

KIT!!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 06 Jan 2014 22:24 #226177

Hi My Dear Friends,
As I committed last week, i am trying to post every day. This is impossible on some days because when i travel, i don't always have internet access which is its own Bracha.
Today, I looked at my boys and shuddered to think how they might fare if C"V I am not able to gain sobriety. I need to stay clean simply to protect them so they don't have to deal with these struggles like i do. But I really need sobriety for my own self to get my life back.

Re: Hashem, please open up the road for me!!! 07 Jan 2014 12:41 #226220

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We can only do what we can, post when possible....and when not, please please please DO NOT POST THEN!!

I totally relate with your thoughts about your children, but do be aware that even if you do become sober they still may have these struggles. If they do (c"v) that is really when they will need you to be sober!!

Of course, the main thing is as you wrote....for yourself!!

KOP!!! KOMT!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov
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