Artfully written as usual but doesn't ring a bell. However I register from you wrote that I actually got under somebody's skin, which is news to me (but hard data.)

Cordnoy doesn't sound to me like he is in a good place. Sorry. And I resent his targeting me.

Cordnoy ain't runnin' a popularity contest.

There is a common decency and a basic semblance of respect to another that one - if he truly wants to help another - would take a few minutes to read up on the history of the fellow he's really tryin' to help. Just to ask questions, insinuate thin's, use your own perspective, decide what it is the other guy needs or wants is just plain haughtiness. It's the difference between a basement dwellin', pajama-clad blogger, and a concerned, carin', איש את רעהו יאמרו חזק type of guy.

Cordnoy has not been targetin' you. As a matter of fact, he has been consistently raisin' your karma. (Sadly, it seems you have ruffled some feathers, and it's difficult for the positive side to gain traction.) Take a look at your last 15 posts and see who clicked "thank you."

And if Cordnoy is in a bad place or not, he welcomes all comments. I believe he has three threads in the most recent posts section (past three or four pages).

Godspeed to all!

Cordnoy, you know I love you and I always will.

Dov, thank you for the point. You are right in your diyuk, between making her happy and doing right by her. I actually was thinking something like that on my drive home today. I can't control her, nothing at all. However, I made a commitment to her by taking her as my wife. And as long as I continue to have her as my wife then I have the responsibility to be the best husband that I can be, regardless of her she treats me. So I need to do the best that I can. The rest is out of my hands.

It was after that thought that I was finally able to say, "thank you Hashem for my wife". No qualifications

mzl wrote on 30 Jul 2018 16:22:

Sorry, none of that rings true. The best answer that I can come up with is that when she became a mother, I took a back seat. Certainly our sexual relationship did, but so did I. Still years later and still having little kids that has not changed. Just a radical shift in priority. I don't know this for sure, because she won't talk about it. 

My biggest fear is that one day there will be no kids in the house to take care of and then there won't be a marriage left either. Another thing I can't say to her.

MBJ wrote on 30 Jul 2018 21:33:

Wow. Look at the first sentence you quoted in the footer under your posts. You're bringing it to life!

I just listed some examples. You are the world's greatest expert on yourself. And the answer doesn't have to be easy. But feeling better about it once and for all depends on internalizing exactly where she's coming from.

MBJ you are very inspiring, you describe a difficult matzav  yet ,you reach out to Hashem ,  try to make things work , and do what you feel is the right thing . most of us have various challenges  and nisyonos  and reading about the good work you do gives me a feeling of strength in my life,

Hatzlacha!

I just want to apologise for enjoying the back and forth.

Why apologize, chaver? Of course it's fun. Even if loose threads are left hanging, good questions eventually help someone.

I hope everyone reading this forum realizes that Dov and Cordnoy have dedicated enormous amounts of time helping many many people - on the forums, on the phone, and in person. Nobody has to agree with anyone's opinions here, however we have to respect each person's right to have an opinion. And the wise person will do even more than just respect the opinions of those who have successfully steered so many strugglers to safety...…...

I guess this is my new procedure. Come once a year and post how things are going. And once again nothing good to report. 

I do my thing, and I really have no guilt about it. No pleasure either, but no guilt. Tha is why I won't stop, because I don't care. One day I'll go to a therapist. But chances are that day will never come. 

Not even sure why I am posting here. I still feel cheated. Inferred promises made but not kept.

If you didn't care you would not have posted buddy. People who don't care laugh at GYE or deny its existence. Guys that come onto the site and especially those that post are hurting and care very deeply. Maybe they don't know how to proceed, maybe they feel yi'ush, but boy do they care - deep in their gut. A post like yours, to me, looks like a cry for help. I am here and so are many others. Grab on to our hands.   May Hashem give you true yishuv hada'as.

I just spent some time reading through this thread.  Only got through page 10 since this is a really long one.  But the give and take between Dov and MBJ is incredible.  A real storybook of one's journey of highs and lows.  Very inspiring.

MBJ wrote on 23 Sep 2019 07:53:

What were the promises?

Dave M wrote on 23 Sep 2019 17:48:

Very commendable of you. Givin' advice without readin' the fellows story is almost as valuable as the sweet nothin's whispered in your ear by the woman in the club.