I hope as well. I know when I was 7 years old I couldn't get my eyes off Suzy.

It's a nature. You can't really "change" him but you can try to shift his focus.
Perhaps get him into guy stuff, like sports.
Read him stories at night and talk to him of the chashivus of being an ehlichre yid.
Get him nature books like "Ranger Rick". They are wonderful, full of bright colored pictures and wholesome stories, This makes for strong bonding between father and son
Encourage him to be a Lego-maniac and go to town in your description of how great are the stuff he built.

Like anything else- Daven, make an hishtadlus then live and let G-d

and that means: NO WORRIES BUDDY!

I'm sorry to hear that MBJ. Sounds like the familiar nuclear reset. As parents, I feel like we are doomed to worry. Hang in there. KOT!

Like sny prototypical boy, he loves cars and trucks and lives playing ball. He alsohas a crush on his teacher. He is only 3. But I worry. It is not that he lives her that worries me. It is the constant talk if how she looks and how pretty she is.

MBJ wrote:


sorry to hear that
care to join a group of sorts?

MBJ wrote:


Hi best of Hatzlacha to you

Re; the teacher, I don't know I'm just thinking, have you seen her, maybe you or your wife could ask the Menahal to tell her to 'tone it down' a little. The nails did it for me, I know the schools round here do not allow the teachers to do their nails.
Sorry I may be way of the mark.

MBJ wrote:


I feel for you man especially the feeling that - "again I am in this predicament. Did I not do this so many times before only to be followed by the same lousy loser feelings.
Unfortunately, we've all been there".
When I joined the forum I would see again and again the experienced guys writing- you just have today or take it one day at a time. To me the lesson I got was - don't look so much of the ocean ahead of you- lets take it bit by bit- right now, just today. In that spirit you let Hashem take over the battle that is happening right now in front of you.
You wrote "because I felt what is the point in not. I could have stopped but I knew that I would be back an hour later fighting again."
Pardon me my good friend but that idea is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, just let G-d fight this particular fight for you. Who the H____ are you to say that you will certainly lose?
Miracles happen all the time to all of us -you are no less ra-uy!

Just do what your supposed to do and let G-d do the rest

"Hashem Yelachem Lachem Ve'atem Ta'charishoon"

cordnoy wrote:

I wish I could. I don't know that I have the guts. But chasing my tail sucks too.

israel613120 wrote:

It is not a school, it is a day care. Anyway the teacher is not important. He will be on to the next level in 2 months. It is the importance that it takes in his mind. It is not sexual he is too young. Still it scares me.

yiraishamaim wrote:

You are sort of right. I put it this way, I need to provide the will, He needs to provide the strength. I ask Him for the strength, because I know I have none. But I do have to want it. When I fell, I was overwhelmed by the pain and I lost my will.
It will make you happy that I had another nisayon, but this time I wavered but held on. Then He took it away. So I gave Him a big thank you.

MBJ wrote:


conference call number, where you wont need to give name, or even talk

MBJ wrote:


You could try doing part of the joining, like so:

1. Locate an in-person SA meeting.
2. Unlock your car.
3. Open the door.
4. Sit down.
5. Start your car.
6. Drive to the meeting and park.
7. Step out of your car and lock it.
8. Walk in to the building.
9. Walk in to the room.
10. Sit down.
11. Introduce yourself.

If you try to do this and you get to step 6 that's already a big victory, and it will feel good, it feels good to drive yourself to the meeting. If you're still ashamed you can try to get farther next time.

I also want to point out that one of the big benefits of a meeting is to dump the shame. So when you say you don't have the guts, that's understandable, but you once you have been to your first meeting you won't be ashamed to go back.

Hatzlacha raba MBJ.

hwhap@gmx.com wrote:

hwhap@gmx.com
Wow, very well put! Yes, it's simple, not easy!

MBJ,

It's been a while since I've posted here but noticing you struggling made me want to give you some encouragement and hope, if I can. Baruch Hashem, I'm sober now since going to my first SA meeting three and a half months ago. I wouldn't lie to you, I was physically shaking in fear before that first meeting. I called a friend I'd meet on Dov's call and told him how I was feeling and that I was afraid I'd crash if I drove. He pointed out that a little fear is only a sign that I'm not a psychopath without emotion.

Since then I've been going to meetings regularly and sobriety had been indescribably amazing, better than I could possibly imagine. I've met tons of really great guys with solid recovery & sobriety, both Jewish & not, and have come to believe that I can have that too.

If you'd like to talk more about my experience, feel free to PM me and I'll give you my number.

Hatzlacha in getting whatever help you need in this challenge and all of life,
NeedToQuit

Last two posts should be required readin'.

9494 wrote:


its almost like da guy who has every excuse not to do a step 4

MBJ


He's only three! How many kids do you know that take things without permission. All of the kids that I know. Does that mean that they will all be kleptomaniacs when they grow older?! My older siblings still tease me that in first grade I used to talk about how soft my teachers hands were. (And no, that didn't cause me to be where I am today. Guys are my problem, not girls).
Kids will talk about anything. He seems to have a sense of style. That doesn't mean that he will be all over girls as he grows up. It just means that he likes nice things.
Hatzlacha