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MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 134041 Views

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 11 Nov 2013 17:00 #223122

gevura shebyesod
Current streak: 1193 days
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Mazel Tov!!!

Continued hatzlacha and KOMT!!

!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 12 Nov 2013 09:17 #223200

needtoquit Current streak: 876 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 137 Karma: 4	Mazel Tov on each and everyone of those 90 days! Especially on the hard days. I'm now working toward my 3rd 90 and getting through those days makes the whole thing worth it. Hatzlacha on all your future days, NeedToQuit

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 12 Nov 2013 09:18 #223201

chulentking Current streak: 95 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 209 Karma: 7	MBJ wrote: So here is to third times the charm. Today I finished my 3rd trip up the 90 day chart. With the help of Hashem (and of course all of you) may this be the last time I have to climb up the 90 day chart. One day at a time. Eli Nice work! Keep it up.

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 21 Nov 2013 12:36 #223740

MBJ
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I was talking to TZ and he said something that took me aback. He said it was Hashem's fault that he had an addiction. My first reaction was how could I blame my mistakes on Hashem. I was the one who watched porn and masturbated for years until it took on an emotional dependence. Then I thought about it for another second. I was EIGHT when I started getting involved in the stuff (ok maybe 9, I really don't remember) I was definitely hooked by the time I was a bar mitzvah. Even though I knew it was wrong (I remember as a little kid promising I would stop if Hashem would make my dad better) I was still definitely not bichlal mitzvot. So basically I became a bar mitzvah with a lust addiction either in place, or almost there.

Then next question is why. Why would He do this to me? Why set me up with this disease that I would then have to struggle with for the rest of my life and cause my marriage to fall apart?

Of course there is only one answer, because this is what is best for me. But what does that mean? I think that it means that it gives me the wonderful opportunity to bring Hashem into my life in a way that I never appreciated before. I need His help and intervention EVERYDAY. This is not just some abstract thing either. I need Hashem for my parnasa, but I get a monthly paycheck. I need Hashem for health, but I am a young healthy guy, etc. With this addiction I need Him each and every day, because if He is not helping me, I will be quick as a snap in the bathroom masturbating again.

Thank you Hashem for giving me this opportunity to bring You into my life.

My Story
Only when we make our real lives sweeter than our fantasies will we reap the emotional rewards, the happiness of recovery. - AlexEliezer
Focus on making the right choices as they come up. - Skeptical
When I start to literally accept G-d's Will as guiding my life today, things start to change. - Dov

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 21 Nov 2013 14:03 #223743

Pidaini OFFLINE Platinum Boarder פדני מעושק אדם-מיצר הרע העושק את הבריות-רש"י Posts: 2189 Karma: 107	WWWOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO HASHEM GO!!!! (AND TZ, AND MBJ!!!! ) P.S. why does all of oink have your number except for me?
	Yankel \| My Ladder \| Talking to Hashem I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus. Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel "Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov Last Edit: 21 Nov 2013 14:05 by Pidaini.

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 21 Nov 2013 15:06 #223748

MBJ OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 655 Karma: 114	No one has my number, it was at the OINK meeting, just before it got underway that we spoke about it.
	My Story Only when we make our real lives sweeter than our fantasies will we reap the emotional rewards, the happiness of recovery. - AlexEliezer Focus on making the right choices as they come up. - Skeptical When I start to literally accept G-d's Will as guiding my life today, things start to change. - Dov

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 21 Nov 2013 23:52 #223789

Pidaini OFFLINE Platinum Boarder פדני מעושק אדם-מיצר הרע העושק את הבריות-רש"י Posts: 2189 Karma: 107	oh ok, now i feel better.......phew.......ahhhh.
	Yankel \| My Ladder \| Talking to Hashem I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus. Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel "Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 22 Nov 2013 00:46 #223805

lizhensk OFFLINE Platinum Boarder You never heard of Rebbes making sholom? Posts: 533 Karma: 53	Pidaini wrote: oh ok, now i feel better.......phew.......ahhhh. Better now? self-esteem ok? if not, we're gonna need an extra meeting for u
	Life is Like a Bicycle: If its easy, you're going downhill Hashem, If I can't have what I want, then please teach me to want what I have -Unknown (and if u know who it was please inform me) (1+2)x4=3 There is NOTHING wrong with feeling pain -My Sponsor I will not act out today, I will tomorrow. Maybe when I get to tomorrow, it will again be 'today'

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 08 Dec 2013 13:51 #224615

MBJ
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Karma: 114

Last week was a weird week. I was busy with my kids, I was busy with Channuka, I was busy with work. All that busyness with real life gave me little time to obsess about my addiction, about the sex I am not getting, about GYE, etc.
I was quiet here last week, and it was beautiful. It was calm. I would highly recommend to anyone to get as busy as they can with real life, because there, after all, is where life is.

I am not saying I am done with GYE I still need this place, but I remember reading when I first started here about Realsville. I didn't understand it at the time, but now I do, and it is a great place to live.

Eli

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 05 Jan 2014 15:24 #226061

MBJ OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 655 Karma: 114	145 clean days, very close to 0. Have been living in my head too much last few weeks. Almost fell last night. I used the chat with a friend lifeline and B"H the urge went away.
	My Story Only when we make our real lives sweeter than our fantasies will we reap the emotional rewards, the happiness of recovery. - AlexEliezer Focus on making the right choices as they come up. - Skeptical When I start to literally accept G-d's Will as guiding my life today, things start to change. - Dov

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 05 Jan 2014 16:57 #226062

MBJ
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just came across this blog post by a minor league pitcher on ESPN

The important part is here

I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that I had allowed myself to expect so much. Embarrassed that I had failed again and that my reputation was forever stained. Embarrassed that I couldn't hang on for another three days so that I could see my wife. Life, it seemed, was telling me at every turn that being hopeful was a useless emotion. That the moment I allowed myself to hope, to expect, in something good, the opposite was sure to happen. So I went back to Colorado Springs, tail between my legs, determined to expect nothing from here on out.

It seems pessimistic, I know. That expecting nothing is preferable to expecting success. But the problem I had, the problem I assume most of us have, is that I had substituted expectation for entitlement. I felt as if I had earned some sort of success. As if the work I put in and the price I paid had secured for me some cosmic balance wherein some good things would balance out the bad things. I was playing this eternal game of tug-o-war against a brick wall, determined to pull hard enough to tear it down. The words "fair" and "unfair" kept trickling from my mind to my tongue. ...

Well said is all I can add to it

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 05 Jan 2014 18:32 #226065

cordnoy
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mbj...great stuff on both posts
keep it up!

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 06 Jan 2014 06:32 #226138

Dov OFFLINE Administrator Posts: 1960 Karma: 383	Holy moly that was awesome!
	"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 07 Jan 2014 17:29 #226229

MBJ
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Karma: 114

Feeling chatty today, I even wrote two posts. Oh my!

Anyway, felt like putting this out there.

How did I find GYE? Well one day several years ago I started searching for kosher porn, or Jewish porn or something like that. Some not so pleasant things. Anyway, I came across a forum where I guess there were similar perverts to me, and someone posted, you all have a problem go to guard your eyes.
So I did. It took me a few years to get active after that, but that was my introduction to this wonderful website. I even tried doing my own 90 day chart. Though I failed miserably at the time.

A rather ignominious way to get here, but B"H I made it.

Re: MBJ's 90 day (and more) Journey 14 Jan 2014 11:31 #226520

Dov OFFLINE Administrator Posts: 1960 Karma: 383	Harbei d'rochim laMokom...and lamokom.
	"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."