It's hard to hit a home run if you live in a place called Mudville

Machshovo Tova wrote:


Here's a new mechitza story that I'd like to share:

I was recently at a (litvishe) simcha. There was a mechitza, but it had many openings. So I decided to play it safe, and I sat with my back to the mechitza. But as they say in the Lita, "foon zich antleift men nit" (you cannot run away from your fate). After a while I noticed that in front of me is a mirrored column affording me a perfect view of the 'other side' (sitra achra). B"H my initial reaction (hergel naaseh teva) was to look away. But my YH is a big talmid chacham. So he came up with the following: There is a pshat that the reason the 'kiyor' was made of mirrors, so that the Kohen can look at the reflection of women who come to Bais Hamikdosh without looking directly at the women. Kumt doch ois - that looking at women through a mirror is not a problem. This sounded reasonable to me, and I struggled to 'shlug upp' this svara. But B"H I quickly came to the realization that - as said often in GYE - it is not a matter of frumkeit or issur vehetar. It is a matter of lust vs sanity. With Hashem's help, I chose sanity and enjoyed the rest of the evening as a normal human being.

Iy"H by you oif simchos

MT

Boy am I glad that I'm not as big a lamdan as you .

Yes, as Chazal say, if one is not zocheh, his Torah becomes sam hamoves ch"v.

MT

Machshovo Tova wrote:


Here's the 'shulg up':

1) Copper isn't nearly as reflective as our mirrors. Her image would be distorted through a copper mirror. Our mirrors are perfect reflectors.

2) If the kohen will have to look for some reason litoeles, then better to look through a mirror at a distorted image. If he didn't have to look, he obviously wouldn't even look through a mirror. He certainly wouldn't look in order to 'check her out'... or even for a 'holy' purpose. You know to make sure she looks tzniyus, that her knees are covered etc.

i just found this story and i was loling very hard.
reminds me of a joke,

WARNING:
if this is innapropiate and/or triggering to anyone tell me and i'll erase it

a guy is caught being mezaneh and the rabbi says,
"how could you do this?"
he answers:
"it's muttar what's the big deal?"
"what do u mean its muttar? it's clearly assur"
"well you agree that this guy can be married to his wife"
"yeah, so?"
"and he cant marry my wife"
"ok sooooo?"
"so if i can marry my wife which he can't do, then of course i can marry his wife which he can do!!!"

it took me a long time till i chopped the (poshute) answer(s)

Machshovo Tova wrote:

LOL reflections rock...
I once spent a 10 hour bus ride watching the guy in front of me's DVD pplayer through a reflection in the window
(it was at night)

inastruggle wrote:


like someone once said: "right, so?"
ahem
Intensive thumb swinging on that fortiori of yours...
MT, how come I wasn't invited to all these Simchos?

I once met an MMA fighter who explained to me that MMA fighting is almost like playing chess (huh?!?!?)

You're not simply looking to smite the tar out of the next guy but rather physically and psychologically lure them to a place where you can beat them. Often that means letting them land a punch or two or putting yourself in a vulnerable position.

The past few days have been slippery and hard for me (kinda like slipping on a hard floor without actually tapping out or having my shoulders on the ground)and although I just had a victory of sorts, this thought just came to mind. The yetzer hora is luring me into thinking that I have the power to beat this thing on my own.

I don't.

That being said I don't think that I ever said to myself, "you can let your guard down. You got his under control. Perhaps the easier it gets the less I am actively trying to stay clean and that's where things start going downhill. even as we clean up our act we constantly need to be actively involved in the recovery process.

Eli

Kind of like the crazy old lady sweeps her fro porch.

"Hey lady, your porch is clean stop sweeping"

Ah haaaaa. The porch is clean because she always sweeps

tehillimzugger wrote:


My dear,
Life is not meant for partying. Life is meant for nisyonos (see Mesilas Yeshorim). I get mine and you get yours.
MT

NEWSFLASH!!

PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION IS LINKED TO REDUCED WILLPOWER, EMOTIONAL WEAKNESS AND A SHORT TEMPER

Thank you for the enlightening news. We all know that we can turn to you in our ignorance for that bit of intelligence, information, or shall I say "ilm-ul-abdan" we are looking for. Thanks for providing it.

NEWSFLASH!!!

SAYING TEHILLIM IS LINKED TO BALDNESS, WEARING A WHITE YARMULKA AND AN URGE TO PLAY YOUR CELLO SIDEWAYS LIKE A GUITAR

Great newsflash RGT, thanks! Please keep reporting these strange new ideas from the field, ok?

gibbor120 wrote:


Shalo"h Hakadosh wrote that the cohen needs to see the person he is being mechaper for in order to connect w/him while shechting and being mekabel the dom, maybe during zrikah, too...but if it is a 'her' then looking at her intently is not proper. So they made the Kior reflective (using the mirrors of the women whp merited yetzias mitzrayim) and placed it at the entrance to the Ezras Noshim where the lady bringing her chatas would stand. He would see her reflection and keep things proper. After all, ein mevi'in mei raglayim (mild hirhurim) bamikdosh (into the mind) mipnei hakavod!

It's funny that the mirrors the cohen used in order to maintain propriety while effecting kaporah were the very mirrors used by the women in Mitztrayim to get their exhausted and depressed husbands sexually interested in them at the end of a long, horrible day. Rashi says they would get their husbands to look at them both in the mirror and the women would say to them, "See? I am more attractive than you are! (ani na'ah mimcho)" One might ask, why didn't they just say to them, "See how attractive I am!". A teacher of mine suggested that it was their way of saying "you are attractive...but see how I am even more so than you are!" Showing another person how much they are appreciated (and in a marriage, even just physically) is important! It is part of real loving. It's not just lust, but a relationship. (PS, This was completely impossible for me to approach until I was sober for a few years and working the steps be"H.)

It's cool that these mirrors were used in order to effect the kaporah of the korbonos. The bechinah of cohen is ahavah/Chessed and that is how he does his avodah and how he serves his fellow Jew - and Jewess. (L'voreich es amo Yisroel b'ahavah!, the cohanim say)

I'd like to suggest that it contrasts the difference between lust and love. Roy wrote that love kills lust just as much as lust kills love. The mirrors of the women were used for sex and p'ru ur'vu. But they worked by appreciating, understanding, and connecting each other...in other words by loving each other, not by creating wild lust.

Da'as and Dibur were in golus (not functioning) in that generation. The Torah calls sex between spouses, "da'as". For a generation that had Da'as (the mekor of sexuality and Shoresh of Yesod) in golus, this was quite a feat! The women overcame the gap through patience and love.

Sorry about the drusha, it really doesn't belong here, but they don't like me in the beis midrash section...