I

Nice story. My story is pretty similar, getting so stuck in "I" that I'm now dreadfully addicted to lust in general and masturbation in particular.

I, I, I.

Hatzlacha

MT

Thanks.

I've been struggling with these taavos since before my bar mitzva.

Whenever i would leave a situation the YH would present me with something else.

L'maaseh, I'm a bit scared what the next nisayon will be...

Being scared does not help. You need a plan, with a commitment to follow through, and keep fine-tuning your tactics. Read the GYE handbook for great chizzuk and great ideas. Reach out to the chevra for advice and encouragement. Form a relationship with Hashem, by talking to Him daily and asking for His help. Make gedarim which will help you avoid triggering situations.

Hatzlacha & take it one day at a time.

MT

funny, you cant plan for the unknown. Just gotta be a zahir and a "brother in trickery" to the YH you have to think like a thief to catch one

If I was the YH what would I want me to be doing now...?

BH finishing day 12 but I had a crazy case of the munchies. Is this normal? Unrelated? Its not like I eat pound of jelly beans but I ate a lot more nosh than I normally would and felt at one point that I couldn't stop.

Yes it's not like I went on a pornography binge but I normally don't do things like this

day 13 woo hoo!

keep on trucking!!!

Thanks DGU

Day 14

overcame a very minor nisayon that I suspect was a covert operation by the YH to trip me up down the line

BH!

WOAH! not sure what triggered it but I'm feeling really anxious and feels like the YH is trying to get me to fall.

Dear Hashem,

Please help me get past this. I can't do it without you

Love,

Eli

this is helping www.chabad.info/images/notimage/28413_en_1.mp3

the anxiousness isn't going away yet, but now now it's encountering a fight from another emotion

My mistake, I'm on day 17.

DAY SEVENTEEN!!!

Still singing the niggun... (hands waving in the air)

Day 19.

It's amazing. I now that I am actively looking away from sghts that will trigger my addiction, I am only starting to realize how out of control my lack of shmiras eynaim is. My instinctive reaction is to look and only after I look do I catch myself and turn away.