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My Story - Reallygettingthere
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: My Story - Reallygettingthere 46688 Views

My Story - Reallygettingthere 11 Oct 2012 00:34 #145810

  • reallygettingthere
I

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 11 Oct 2012 08:19 #145843

  • chaimcharlie
  • Current streak: 10 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 396
  • Karma: 6
Nice story. My story is pretty similar, getting so stuck in "I" that I'm now dreadfully addicted to lust in general and masturbation in particular.

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 11 Oct 2012 14:21 #145857

I, I, I.

Hatzlacha

MT

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 11 Oct 2012 22:03 #145944

  • reallygettingthere
Thanks.

I've been struggling with these taavos since before my bar mitzva.

Whenever i would leave a situation the YH would present me with something else.

L'maaseh, I'm a bit scared what the next nisayon will be...

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 11 Oct 2012 22:15 #145949

Being scared does not help. You need a plan, with a commitment to follow through, and keep fine-tuning your tactics. Read the GYE handbook for great chizzuk and great ideas. Reach out to the chevra for advice and encouragement. Form a relationship with Hashem, by talking to Him daily and asking for His help. Make gedarim which will help you avoid triggering situations.

Hatzlacha & take it one day at a time.

MT

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 11 Oct 2012 22:26 #145951

  • reallygettingthere
funny, you cant plan for the unknown. Just gotta be a zahir and a "brother in trickery" to the YH you have to think like a thief to catch one

If I was the YH what would I want me to be doing now...?

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 12 Oct 2012 03:04 #145973

  • reallygettingthere
BH finishing day 12 but I had a crazy case of the munchies. Is this normal? Unrelated? Its not like I eat pound of jelly beans but I ate a lot more nosh than I normally would and felt at one point that I couldn't stop.

Yes it's not like I went on a pornography binge but I normally don't do things like this

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 12 Oct 2012 18:41 #146052

  • reallygettingthere
day 13 woo hoo!

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 13 Oct 2012 19:51 #146072

  • dont give up
keep on trucking!!!

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 14 Oct 2012 02:46 #146077

  • reallygettingthere
Thanks DGU

Day 14

overcame a very minor nisayon that I suspect was a covert operation by the YH to trip me up down the line

BH!

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 15 Oct 2012 22:32 #146201

  • reallygettingthere
WOAH! not sure what triggered it but I'm feeling really anxious and feels like the YH is trying to get me to fall.

Dear Hashem,

Please help me get past this. I can't do it without you

Love,

Eli

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 15 Oct 2012 22:49 #146203

  • reallygettingthere
  • Current streak: 72 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 758
  • Karma: 27
this is helping www.chabad.info/images/notimage/28413_en_1.mp3

the anxiousness isn't going away yet, but now now it's encountering a fight from another emotion
Roy in the SA White Book noted that we frequently prayed and it did not work...because the best we could muster was begging G-d to "Please take it away, so I will not have to give it up!

No amount of sobriety can cure the insanity -ChaimCharlie

The emmes hurts but fake chizzuk will hurt more -Bards

Remember, best block, no be there - Mr. Miyagi
Last Edit: 12 Jan 2013 01:14 by reallygettingthere.

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 15 Oct 2012 23:32 #146206

  • reallygettingthere
My mistake, I'm on day 17.

DAY SEVENTEEN!!!

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 16 Oct 2012 01:59 #146211

  • reallygettingthere
Still singing the niggun... (hands waving in the air)

Re: My Story - Reallygettingthere 18 Oct 2012 03:56 #146310

  • reallygettingthere
Day 19.

It's amazing. I now that I am actively looking away from sghts that will trigger my addiction, I am only starting to realize how out of control my lack of shmiras eynaim is. My instinctive reaction is to look and only after I look do I catch myself and turn away.
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