So unfortunately I fell last night. The main reason was due to stress - someting that I will have to learn to handle correctly in the future. I think that this past streak was a great, and I have managed to learn alot about what this struggle means and what Hashem wants out of us. Today was a little difficult in the beginning to set sail once again but somehow I had Siyata Dishmaya and the strength to persevere was there. I have a question for you guys. I often, when faced with a difficult situation of guarding my eyes, say that I surrender and do not want the lust. But I just dont feel as if Im really surrendering. Even if I think it over in my mind to give up the lust to Hashem it still doesnt seem to have an effect. Maybe I am doing something wrong or missing something in my approach. Thanks

I am not very knowledgeable in these subtle aspects of so-called 'surrenderring lust'. But my common sense tells me (and I've read so by R' alexeliezer) that surrendering means admitting that we cannot control it, and therefore we must avoid it at all costs. So for instance if one is walking in the sweltering heat and comes across an immodestly dressed woman, surrendering would mean that he quickly averts his gaze and admits helplessness and asks for Hashem's help in overcoming this nisayon. But if he keeps his eyeballs glued to the image and is drinking it in and enjoying every second of it, and at the same time he says "I surrender and don't want this", then he's only fooling himself and he is not surrendering, for his actions contradict his words.

I don't know if this relates to your situation, but it helps clarify for myself at least.

MT

Also, keep surrendering, however imperfectly, and the feelings will follow. Sur meira first, asei toiv later.

I totally relate to that. When I see someone triggering and the urge to keep staring and fantasizing is overwhelming... My first step must be to tear myself away and look elsewhere or close my eyes. And I'm dying for another look. Only then do I say "I don't want it, I surrender, please take it away". The action must come first, only then do the words have meaning.

Just keep practicing it, over and over. It works, and it will become easier with time.

Hatzlacha and KOMT!!!
Gevura!

Great stuff!

I would just add, in the how-to department, that no matter how careful I am, sometimes I'm caught off guard and for a moment I see too much. A perfect trigger. I can't deny that I've seen it. In such a case, I immediately start davening, asking Hashem to take this image, to not let it settle into my mind. I surrender the image to Hashem, and I move on.

Yedid, you're gonna do this!

Thanks everyone a tonne for all the answers! Ive really found them useful in explaining this whole surrendering thing. Anyways today was great and a couple of times when surrendering I felt something really powerful. It really is one of the greatest things that we can do in this struggle. You feel for those few moments that you really are doing the will of Hashem which is of course awesome. Anyways today has benn good, I did experience a 20 minute period when I looked a bit more on the streets than I should have but Im back up. Thanks once again

It's great to hear great news, yedid. And remember, practice makes perfect. Accept your slips as normal, but keep on trucking! We can learn from our addiction that "hergel naaseh teva". Eventually, this will be"H become a second nature - to enjoy the aewsome glory of Hashem instead of wallowing in filthy drunkedness.

Hatzlacha

MT

Baruch Hashem Day 3 tonight.Good day for shemirat eiynayim. I'm talking to Hashem more during the day and I can finally start to see the big deal about "letting go and letting G-d".

Shavua tov, gut voch. Baruch Hashem day 5 tonight. I did have a slip with shemiras eiynayim today at lunch but with siyata dishaya I got through it and am fine now. Motzai Shabbos is upon us and I have heard that the reason we might feel low is becuase on Shabbos we gain an extra crown and once that is taken from us we may feel a bit empty. Also , Its the night where the goyim set out in search of empty pleasures -partying, drinking etc and we yidden somehow are affected by the tumah that they bring into the world at this time. On the way back from shull tongiht there was the voice sceaming "oy!, its motzai Shabbos,so difficult, so many previous falls" but its the yetzer blowing everything out of proportion as uaual so im trying for tonight to remain calm and treat it like any other night. Will try do some work and hopefully learn anyways thats all for now thanks.

Fell last night. But, how was last night different from other nights? . I only acted out once and this time I was Baruch Hashem able to go against the impulse of "oh, you fell once you might as well go all out". So instead of going to sleep at 3:30 AM i got a good night and therefore did not have to waste the whole day today. I will know for future motzai Shabboses to stay far away from the computer and even for GYE purposes.
Tizkeh Lemitzvot.

Agree.
A basic geder is not to allow yourself in the room where the computer is if there isn't someone else watching. Also a good idea not to get on at all at night.
Any chance of installing accountability software like webchaver?

sorry alexeliezer - the computers that I use are not my own. I dont think my parents will be to keen on me installing such software because it may interfere with their own usage for work and stuff. The only sites I go on are GYE and sites for shiurim and fpr school work. and I dont like going even on frum news website cause i can get sucked in and waste time. I know I only have myself to blame but last nights fall started with opening a link for some site that a friend sent me and from there it went downhill. You are 100% right - it willl be a good idea to identify my times of weakness in the week and stay for away at those times.

ha! , i got it. When i entered the GYE arena in May i thought to myself "take as much time as you need every day on GYE cause its for a holy cause". But, now the yetzer has taken advantage and it might even be wasting my time to spend so much time here reading old posts. I will bli neder limit myself to 15 minutes per day on internet which includes GYE - chizuk emails, posts and reading my daily attitude as well as other Torah learning/shiurim online. This 15 minutes does not include school work. Sorry im a bit over my limit for today so bye!

Tisha Bav today and day 5. It has been a more meaningful day so far than other past Tisha Baavs. These bad machshovas kept coming to me during kinot but I don't need to make them a part of my life in any way. Instead I surrender to Hashem and ask that his will be done, not mine. Yesterday's 'no' and today's 'no' and tomorrow's 'no' will eventually accumulate and allow me to break free. The lust has died down for now but starting from tonight I'm going to facing a very stressful period with a lot of work so more than now than ever I have to be on high alert and just follow the steps that were once set out by the holy founders of GYE - even if they make no sense at this moment.

Go, Yedid, go!