The "Rules" page mentions 5 conditions for a Fall - but I only see 2 of them (I have Internet Rimon - could it be filtering this?)
Anyway - I need some clarification about what constitutes a FALL rather than a SLIP. Could someone copy all five conditions?

I have a fixation/fetish for certain body parts - and started a google search for that "interest".
On the one hand, I clicked away when I got to the first page with an image.
On the other hand, I spent a bit of time searching.

So - slip or fall?

Welcome. Here are the rules. But shouldn't you be asking a more fundamental question. Which is whether its a slip or fall how can I stop it? Your ability to stop long term is not dependant on the characterizion of something as a slip or fall. Hatzlacha on your journey.

What constitutes a "Fall" to require restarting the count?

There are "slips" and there are "falls". "Slips" do not require restarting the count. "Falls" do require restarting.

A "Fall" is one of the following things:

1) Intentional masturbation

2) Intentionally viewing improper sites

3) Intentionally calling inappropriate telephone numbers

4) Intentionally seeking out and reading erotica

5) Worse things, which I need not mention.

In regard to number 2 (and 4), if someone saw something by mistake and then got a little bit carried away and kept looking at it, or even if someone saw a link and couldn't resist clicking on it but then catches themselves within a few seconds, that would only be considered a "slip", not a "fall". However, if someone decides to actively pursue viewing bad sites chas veshalom,that would be considered a FALL and require a restart of the count (by letting us know).

Also, each person can set their own criteria for what they consider a "slip" for themselves. But as long as they did not do one of the 5 things above, they can stay on the chart if they want.

Welcome BimBim!

[UAJ, I was just copying in the same thing, but you beat me to it!]

I guess it's up to you to decide, or maybe someone "official" can chime in.

Hatzlacha, and remember that even if you fell, you have not lost the effort that you have put in until now. Just get right back up and continue! "Ki Nofalti, Kamti" (or "KOMT-i", as we like to say around here )

Gevura!

ur-a-jew wrote on 01 May 2012 17:41:


Can someone explain this to me, please. Who cares what you consider a slip if you stay on the chart?

BB
I guess if you're slipping you should take proactive action before falling. As UAJ pointed out, it's not about staying on the chart but about staying sober long-term. Slipping will lead to falling, similar to ...which may lead to dancing...

Blind wrote on 01 May 2012 18:43:


I would say because staying on the chart is not the be all and end all of staying sober. And people in an effort to grow would like to set standards for themselves that may be higher than the "rules" may require. Something may be considered a slip but a slip is a first taste and the first step down a slippery slope. Therefore someone who is a lust addict would be well advised to say away what he knows in the past to be slips for him regardless of whether they are a slip on the chart.
An example from experience. When I would go on a lust binge I would almost never start with a direct search for porn. Instead it would almost always start with something "innocent" for example a name I came across. Which I would then continue with until I was in the abyss. For me searching a woman's name could be a slip because I know where I'm headed and I don't do it anymore. Were I to do it, and stop before I got somewhere bad it is a slip that I know I have to work on but it shouldn't take me off the chart.

i agree with UAJ when i used to look at youtube (blocked it now) i used to start with something kosher and then i used to find myself by half n*de woman etc and then i would go to p*rn site. so a slip has to be decided by the person and what he is vulnerable to.
By the way there was always someone who commented on youtube when ever it was a dirty thing that "i am on the weird side of youtube again"

Welcome to the forum!

Keep on posting.

Good luck,

Elyah

ur-a-jew wrote on 01 May 2012 19:19:


This really resonates with me... I had been thinking about my "trigger issue" on and off for some days before this... and I fiddling with "innocent" searches that lead to "medical" pages... and then away we go.

I guess I have to decide whether to treat this as a "learning experience" or a "no-go reset"... I certainly caught myself in a way I never have before, which is a point of light.

I've found is that it's sometimes counterproductive to beat myself up too much.... have to think about how to handle this.

Thanks for your input!
BBB

It might be healthy, actually, to give yourself a few weeks before worrying about the chart.

Do your best not to m*sturbate or look at p*rn.

But, put an effort into soaking up the messages here and the information. Read other people's threads, and especially read through the GYE handbooks.

There's a lot to learn yet, and worrying too much about the chart might get in the way at this stage.

--Elyah