Let go and just call.  I gurantee it won't be as bad as you imagine.  If it is, just hang up .

mayimtehorim wrote on 31 Jan 2012 18:00:

As for telling wife, there is no rush, to be sure.
But as far as the phone calls go, that is EXACTLY the point of conversation: call me and run your plan by me: Hey, I just wanna look at porn, What do you think? And I will give you my honest opinion about it. We don't have to talk about anything else if you're uncomfortable discussing your kids tuition with strangers, but as far as compulsively grabbing your privates while watching naked people have devious sex...I can talk about it all day, 'cause that's what I wanna do all day anyways. And I need to hear from people in my situation regularly to remind myself that it is not such a great plan afterall. Somehow, I only know it's not good for you to do it, but it's ok for me. So please, put me back in my place, call me?

Hey MT,

I just saw your post now... haven't been here in a while... i tend get side tracked when I dont feel like I have an issue! "when I dont feel like I have an issue" who the heck am I trying to kid... I have BH gone 80 days since I joined GYE and BH my life has almost turned itself around, I cant exactly say what I was experiencing previously to say that my life has turned around but I can tell you that my tefilos are that much stronger, that my kavanah is much more there, that I am starting to truly appreciate everything that I have in my life. Slowly slowly.... I can see thing I didn't before and I feel like a different person.

BUT, despite the fact that I am heading close to 90 days, i almost fell today... the same thing that caught me the last time at day 67. Its the most subtle little things that trigger the biggest response. what I have realized is that, when I first joined up here, it was because my wife was really upset with me and I could not bear to think of hurting her. Knowing that I had hurt her and in fact was affecting both of our lives. I knew exactly what I had to do.... NOTHING is more important to me than making sure that I am living my life in truth, honesty and integerity and looking at the shmutz aint that. truthfully it was quite easy for me. I knew that it meant canceling the browser on my phone and just being careful about what movies I watched and where I let my eyes wonder in the stores.... there is a reason this site is called guard your eyes... its the only way you'll ever come to protect yourself. HONESTLY.... anyways, I have been a little less careful lately about what I am looking at and today for the first time, i found myself looking at stuff that was for sure inappropriate - that is different for each person but this was no porn or anything I would consider terribly bad but it was images that would definitely lead me down a slipper path and I almost fell. unfortunately I didn't manage to get out before some damage was done, but BH - in the next browser I opened GYE and was able to stop and find myself BH BH BH

If I can offer any advice to you here.... PLEASE do your self a favour and limit your veiwing times on facebook, watching TV etc because the YH will catch u in a second.... 1 second, 1 click and a fall is for sure going to happen. just ask yourself, how badly do you need internet on your phone, what alternatives can you use instead of this? how badly do you need full time internet access at home? how much are you prepared to give up to have this? your wife, your children, your job, your family???? are these things really that important to you... THINK ABOUT IT and choose life

A new beginning. Thank you. I am in agreement with you a 100%.

Setting up borders is important, but we must remember, that no matter the borders, we have to stay on guard. It takes only seconds to go down the slippery slope.

Thank you and keep strong!

OK, here I go again.

I was going strong and then I find myself looking at hardcore p* for an hour or two. No MZL. I know that it is definitely a fall, but I do feel good that I did not MZL.

The question is: do I erase my 90 day progress and start from day one? As irrational as is, I feel that once I am back to 0, I will want to "make the most of my fall" and go all the way for a day or two.

A fall is a fall and the rules are clearly defined by GYE. So, we cannot override it.

i have been here on GYE for over 10 months and B"H i'm clean since. In these days, i'm mostly on the Yiddish forum.

My experiance has shown, that people that fail to admit a fall and push it off with all sorts of reasons why they should not classify it as a full, have failed to pick them self up until they experianced a real gigentic big fall, that they couldn't find any reason, why its not a fall, and only then they were finally ready to admit, i fell and strated again.

I was very impressed recently, how Gevura took 2 big slips and chose to classify it as a fall and this helped him to move back on the tracks.

saying, i fell, should not make you act badly on it. you had "already" the most out of your fall. you are experiancing a fall that you can still easily get out of it and start drive up. If you act more on it, you will take just junk out of it and it will just make it very hard to get back to 1. right now, you can count tomorrow for 1, if you go further, it will be very hard and just give you alot of days counted as zero.

Thank hoshem for giving you all the clean days till now. Make sure, you feel good about them, you are a licky person who did the rutzen of hoshem for a long time and will continue to do so. You had one fall in the middle of the fight,m who cares, go on. Be happy, you are on the way to win.

Imagine, your country is at war with a strong enemy, one of the soliders was hit and wounded, so, the general says, ok, we made a lot pf progress in recent days and weeks, but, today, we lost already one battle, lets take advantage pof this, lets loss today as much as we can, tomorrow we will start fighting again....... thats stupid. Instead, we say, we accomplished so much, true, we had one casulty, but, we cannot afford to think to much of this, rather, we must focus on winning this fight and even fight back harder.

Hotzlucha raba.

Keep on trucking. One day at a time.

I just bumped into this thread very inspiring and well articulated. go strong mayimtehorim we are all in the same boat.