Amazing! Hang on to that feeling and KOWWH!!!

Welcome back Saul/Eizehu! Keep posting, maybe start your own thread.

We're here for you,

listening...

Thanks Nitz!

I can't manage outcomes. Any outcomes. When I blow my nose, not everything will necessarily outcome.

Yeah, I'm not feeling well. -Went through a whole package of tissues during shacharis alone. But it's such a relief to know that my mood is in my control. Moods can't control me.

I am not happy that I'm feeling this way. Automatically I become unhappy about this and that and the other thing as well. But I do not allow it, I deal with the fact that I'm not feeling well, I accept it. Then I can go on to the other things one at a time. Hashem isn't attacking me with a whole bunch of weapons at once, I'm attacking myself if I choose to see it that way.

I choose to see it this way: Der Basheffer luvt mich eibig!

you mean outgribes

What a beautiful post. I wonder myself..haven't i opened up a pisch shel machat yet. Now i understand!

tehillimzugger wrote:

for many of us the ois fier is not so much vifil luv ich ehm but vifil luv ich mich when we have to remind ourselves "...you're worth it..."

Helpless, but not hopeless

The fourth step that Alcoholics Anonymous suggests for recovery from addiction is: making "a searching and fearless moral inventory" whose aim is to search out "damaged and unsalable goods". Whilst taking this step I noticed that I have a lot of dishonesty in my character. For instance, I can withhold information from people in order to manipulate them.

But there are less severe manifestations as well. For instance, readers of this thread might remember that I have a fear of public speaking. Dishonesty plays a large part in this fear. If I were honest with myself, I would admit that people aren't judging me based on every inflection in my speech.

The sixth step suggests that I be entirely ready to be rid of the defects of character [the abovementioned "damaged and unsalable goods"]. Since I've taken this step I've been willing to stop living with the mindset I lived with previously. Dishonesty is out.

I have a huge imagination. I live in it very often.

I realized. Using my imagination is dishonest. It's not real. Not honest. I cannot live with imagination if I am to live without my character defects. One of which is dishonesty.

It hit me during davening:
Hashem will not be one iota bigger during my chasuna. All the ecstatic dancing I'll be doing during my chasuna. There's no reason I shouldn't be doing all that now. It's the same Hashem!

that's all true and well and honorable. but methinks that the ecstatic dancing at your wedding (iy"h before tu bishvat..) is not so much because Hashem is bigger, rather because we are happy. (if you really want to nitpick, you could make a case that kol hamesameach choson vekallah ke'ilu bana achas meichurvos Yerushalayim so keveyachol Hashem profits on the deal as well).
ha'ikkar, sheyiyeh smachot lekulanu.

ZemirosShabbos wrote:

True but in my grand imaginations, a chasuna is called a Iloula, because it is a time to give Iloul to Hashem, and in my grand imaginations that is what I intend to do.

thanks for the ilm, mr.llama

On the subject of Ilm I'd like to share some of my Nittel studies:
To you all, Ahl al Qitab: Why do you engage in zaana and philosophizing? Can you not listen to Surah and be truly Muslim, humbling yourself with saalat? Then you shall find serenity and Falah in this life.

tehillimzugger wrote:

ok, i got the Q-tips, the Tzena Ure'ana, listening to Sara (kol asher tomar eilecha shma bekola), and the salad. but is falah like falafel with a silent el [like ilm and llama]?