Way to go!! It's much harder to stop after you've already started, so i see this as a win.

They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, youve just put a new spin on that...

Gevura!

i wish i would have the strength to stop after being in it, i see in you a very powerfull mind that rules you FSKOT

thanks guys for the chizzuck. the real thing i have to work on is how not to get to that again. I have strong filters but there is always a way to get unfiltered.. i need to get to the point where i won't even try bec turning away is hard.

my neder which worked for me is that if i view porn for 1 min in any half hr time then i have to fast. i'm thinking if i would change that to if i see at all would it have stopped me to begin with or is that doing to much? let me know what you think.

So basically you are allowing yourself 59 seconds every half hour? If it was me i'd be staring at the clock the whole time waiting.....

Maybe make it something more like "if I look on purpose at all even once, or I see by accident and do not stop myself in 30 seconds twice in one day, then i will " Like that you are not bound to the clock.

As far as filters, there is a way around almost any filter. I can get around any software filter in seconds, the best thing is an actual filtered connection such as Jnet, but that's not available everywhere. There is still open WIFI everywhere, as well as smartphones and blackberries.

Personally I have K9 on my computers at home, my wife and I each have half the password. At work there is a filter in the firewall for the whole site. However my smartphone is not filtered (anyone know of something for Windows Mobile?) and I have access to some other computers that are not filtered. But just knowing that my main computers are filtered is enough to remind me that I should not be looking at that stuff, and I can honestly say that I have not looked even briefly at any p*** about the past 3 months.
I was mekabel that if I ever cheated with my phone I would immediately give it up for a plain voice-only phone, even though it would greatly inconvenience me in my work.

In any case the computer was never my biggest problem, it's what I see in real life. For someone who has a bigger problem with the computer, they may need more drastic measures.

Gevura!

Helpfyi wrote on 29 Aug 2011 16:15:


Just keep doing what your doing in my opnioin as long as it is getting you someplace. Of course our ultimate goal is to give it up forever and ever and ever and ever... but those falls that dont turn into all out lustfests do indicate a a very real strengtehning. kep it up!


ps- i call lustfests lustapaloozas... if you get that.

Gevura ShebYesod wrote on 30 Aug 2011 16:01:


the set up of the neder was done by R Guard him self, you have to leave room for some type of slip or it won't work. i originally started with 2 minutes every half hr and as i went made it one minute. if i don't leave room for me to stop then it won't be effective.  Maybe if i am clean for a long time i can make it to 0 min. it was my first slip with porn in 4 months and i got out fast.

As far as filters, i have k9 and i don't have the password, my wife has it so she do shopping, so the only time i ran into a problem is if she took it off for it 15 min to see hurricane news and then left the room, that's where i slipped she never takes it off totally just what she wanted wasn't working. I don't have internet on my phone so that is my only access.

I have no idea how to get around k9 and i don't want to, its pretty strong as they say. So i hope this won't happen again and hope if it does i wont look at all and leave the room with her.

thanks for the chizzuk.

p.s you gotta get a filter on your phone, i don't know how you control yourself.

I'm not gonna tell you how to get around it .....but I have never done it.

I really don't know how I have managed to stay away like that. I've been tempted, in moments of boredom and depression. Maybe Hashem sees how desperately i want to get away from all the filth I was drowning in for so long, so he is giving me some extra Siyata Dishmaya.

KVT & KOT!

Gevura!

Gevura ShebYesod wrote on 01 Sep 2011 20:11:


Yeh but i'm sure you can get a filter so why play with fire? there are people who can help you find one.

Hey guys hows it going, yom hadin is coming up and i have been doing some thinking.... about how this year such a bad one in these things and how i can improve....

now before yom hadin i am being good not looking, can't say perfect but much better then a week ago and getting better every day. i do get depressed these days about parnassah issues and my sick mind always turns to looking at women as a way to get out of it... i realize this and don't let that happen bec it wont help anyway i just don't look and hope that will be a segulah for some parnassah......

Any tips on how to cheer up?

Helpfyi wrote on 02 Sep 2011 15:04:


I've been asking and looking around but I haven't found one yet. it's a HTC Imagio running Windows Mobile 6.5. Any info anyone?