Hi everyone, the point of this thread is- there are many people on GYE like myself who's main fight/struggle is not porn or masturbating, but its keeping our eyes in check in the street. We don't have the porn masturbating problem either bec we got over it and are fully protected with filters, neders etc... or we never had the problem and are just "lust gazing addicts". So for us the main battle in keeping "clean" is to keep our every day "gazing" in check. So being that's the case most threads are geared towards the porn and masturbating problem, i want to open up a thread to keep our "street cleaning" in check.

So basically here you can report your struggle in the street, your progress and falls, this way we can make sure we don't slip too bad bec we all know where we end up if that happens. The street is our fortress which keeps up clean through and through, if we fall in the street we will end up going further. I therefore would like to make a wall of honor for us to keep track how long we are clean in the street.

**keep in mind not "gazing' means not to lustfully look or stare or look twice at a women even if she is dressed properly. If you catch yourself and look away that is not a fall.**

I'll be first- I am on a streak of over 40 days not gazing and it takes alot of chizzuck. I read windows of the soul and listen to tapes on shmiras eyniem, i also keep in check with the fourm. i plan on keeping up that streak FOREVER but am taking it one lady at a time.........

I'm looking faward to hear from the boys on this.

Helpfyi

i want to let you know that people who have other problems could also relate very well to your problem. if he is masturbating he might be not clean on the street. and what about all the shopping centers that we shop. did you mean stores & streets & stands etc. i guess so. i feel that a lot of people that have other major issues can relate very well to this subject at are truly invited to join your wonderfull thred.
What's your opinion Helpfyi?

Our website is being redone now, and the new network will have two separate sections; one called "Prevention" and one called "Treatment". The Prevention website will be dedicated to shmiras ainayim issues mainly, such as the shmiras ainayim chizuk e-mails, phone conferences, filter help, etc... It will have its own forum for mechanchim, parents and regular balabatim to exchange ideas and chizuk... I beleive that what you are looking for will be available on the new "Prevention" forum.

You know I must admit, when I first heard about the ambitions to make gye 'bigger' I was a bit skeptical. I thought to myself that the whole secret was the cmraderie if addicts coming together and that it should just grow organically in that way. I didn't see SA or AA or OA doing any advertising and couldn't see y GYE should either.

As reb guard's ideas come more to fruition I see though that the goal of prevention and all the other 'higher' objectives, necessitates that which comes along wth it. And its a very good thing to do. Posts like this one prove that prevention is where its at for many people. Yasher koach reb guard.

chazak chazak wrote on 10 Aug 2011 05:02:


totally agree, i was not  restricting my thread to only people who don't have the problem but i figured they are the ones who will most benefit from it. All are welcome but lets try to stick to the topic. And street means mall/office/store/jogger/etc.. anything you can't put a filter on...

guardureyes wrote on 10 Aug 2011 06:15:


Thanks moeri ve'rebbi,R' guard i guess i can say - baruch sah'kivanti , i did feel that there should be such a forum, i guess till the new website is fully running we can hang out here.

I live in one of the holiest places in the Universe, so my biggest problem is going to SA meetings in a not-yet-chareidi neighborhood. In my home town I can take my glasses off if I need to, especially on shabbos when everyone is dressed up, when I also need to take them off.
I have been good this week so far.
Hatzlocho to us all.

Blind Beggar wrote on 10 Aug 2011 13:57:

Thanks for joining! keep it up take it one day at a time hopefully this thread can help us for all these types of struggles. I also can relate to that, when i'm in my home court i can easily guard my eyes but when i'm in a place that unexpected things come up its much harder, we have to mentally prepare our selves for these times.

This is a hugely important area for all of us, no matter what our particular weakness may be.  It's the common denominator.  The day to day, minute to minute quickie nisyonos that can keep us strong, or tip us off balance.

As an addict, I can't look at a woman "in the street" because that's taking a drink.  Maybe just a little drink.  But a little drink here, a little drink there, and then next thing I'm wandering into the bar for a binge.  Forget it! Not gonna happen.  No sipping. No drinking, no falling.

Alex

I was walking to a shiur tonight and WHAM! there was a fully-dressed, chareidi woman who was instantly triggering. With the inspiration of posting on this thread a few hours earlier I took my glasses off and surrendered my lust to Hashem. I asked Hashem to help me find in Him the pleasure, excitement and delight that I would want to find in her body, and then I called my sponsor.

Excellent thread. I have been trying for a long time to get some vibrant activity dealing with these kinds of issues (with no success), IY"H when the new prevention site is up and running we will get it running at full steam.

A particular challenge I find with things in the street is that while MB or P are pretty clear cut and unequivical, in the street I am never sure; did I look in a lustful manner or was it a legitimate practical need, did I look too long (for the wrong reason) or not, did I intentional look (or perhaps not adequately careful not to come across) or was it truly unavoidable???? I am truly not sure the answer to these on many occasions, but the ambiguity certainly leaves an opprotunity to stray too far...

we are all on the streets daily we are all struggling the same thing. on the yiddish forum someone suggested for those who feel triggered in the car while stopping at a red light to try to focus on the license plate in front of you and try to find a gematrya or roshei teivos out of the license plate until it becomes green.     

boruch hashem lately i am much stronger and i do not give that second look. Halevey veiter. even the fact that i am not clean in other areas i have grown in this aspect.

I have also found myself perplexed w/ how to deal with th street and second guessing nyself often if I was neheneh wen I should not have been or rather was mistakel wth the intent of beong neheneh. It is a chizuk 2c I'm not alone in this and I look froward to eitzos from others in how to stay on the right path

i'm so happy to see the great response to this thread! keep on posting it will help us!

As far as not being sure if it was a slip, i have had this issue also and here is what i came up with, let me know what you think. For up to  2 minutes after the time you thought you might have slipped you have to decide if you could have done better and how to avoid or do better next time, after 2 minutes you shouldt think about it at all! this way you can fix what might have been a slip but you wont sit there the whole day deciding if it was which will get you no where. i think this might be a good way to get out of that trap bec that all it is a trap from the YH to get you to fall more. So if you think you might have sliped think- what can i have done differant, or how can i have avoided it, and then FORGGEDABOUTIT!!.

what do you think?

today i had a great day, was faced with a couple of hard curve balls but dealt with them ok, of course i could have done better but what i'm going to think about is how much worse i could have done and i didn't and with hashems help it will get even better.