Like Father, Like Son

Tired. Walking Lucy.
Another dog!
Suddenly, Lucy's a Marlin.
The leash snaps. 10 pounds of furious ecstasy.
My ipod wobbles. My headphones jerk.
Ears hurt.
Ugh. Grrrr.
I spin 180. Lucy whines.
Aggravated. I walk away.
Lucy drags behind.

I'd hurt her neck, like my father hurt mine.
Angry. Aggravated.
Callous.
In effect, cruel.

But Lucy holds no grudges.
Nor should I.

as long as you're happy.....

Powerful stuff. As you've said openly elsewhere on the site, you've been really hurt during your upbringing and it has a major impact on you still now, and colours how you react and act.
I really feel for you. I know that everyone says this but have you considered counselling? Is there a way you can pay for it? The right counsellor can really be helpful.

One of the best books I've read is "The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog". A psychiatrist chronicles his experiences with traumatized children, including Branch Davidian children. His conclusion? Whatever the therapy, the distinguishing factor determining success or failure was a loving, supportive, safe, nurturing environment.

I appreciate your obvious concern and empathy. At the same time, in 12 step, unsolicited suggestions are eschewed. The reasons are obvious. By analogy, if I suggest a silent man finish his GED, I do so because I implicitly assume he is dumb and cannot speak English. Doing so in public is broadcasting my assumption, branding and stigmatizing the silent man.

I can imagine a less loving, accepting environment, but not easily.

Neuron,
Maybe someone will correct me but this site is not just 12 steps.
It is advertised in all the shuls and media as a place for yidden who are suffering from an unhealthy use of pornography.
It may be that 12 steps is the best and only proven way for ANYONE exhibiting with these behaviours but as far as I understand this is not an online 12-step group.
And the fact is people here do offer thei insights into what people are saying, and make suggestions. And if I think I can suggest something to someone that may be true and can help should I stay silent? As long as we do no harm I think that it's positive to post.
But back to you, I didn't understand the rest of your post. Did you mean to say that this isn't a loving supportive environment and therefore can't help you? Did you mean that because I what you've been through nothing can feel loving and supportive? Or something else?
All the best.
Shlomo

I don't think anyone is saying that 12 steps is the only program that works or that it is for everyone. It has worked for some of us. In general I think it's just a great way to live life.

Let me put it this way. I feel like I am talking about simple arithmetic to a kindergartener. It is counter-productive to continue. Someday I hope you will understand this.

Arithmetic is far too complicated for kindergarten. Why don't you go back a few steps and help us understand?

neuron_redux wrote:


Chaver neuron_redux you need not worry about your anonymity.Nobody here has the slightest idea who you are. Incidentally i go to a therapist because of how my upbringing was a down-bringing.And you still dont know who am i.So you can feel free here to say whats in your mind as long as that helps you. Another thing , you can be assured that here everybody loves and accepts you as you are wherever you are holding. Because we also need very much to be loved and accepted as we are , by everybody else. Wishing you much success in all your endeavors.

I'm not sure to whom you are directing this comment or what your intention is, but this is the response that comes to mind for me:

"Unfortunately, I not only judge books by their cover, I judge them by the cover I myself cover them with, and then blame the author, forgetting it's my cover, and then fling the book out the window, and then feel compelled to tell the world about the awful book." Neuron-Redux

Once again, I may be totally not understanding you, so perhaps some clarification of your comment is in order.