Thanks for your comment JJ.

I think it's often not a question of doing these things or not doing them. It's not all or nothing. We get the ideas, and work on them, and little by little, more and more, manage to incorporate them into our lives. And, every tiny little bit is worth it.

--Elyah

143. Put the welfare of others first.

Let other people be first. I find this tool comes into play especially when attending simchas (and even at my own Shabbos table). Don't grab to take the food first, or the biggest piece.

And, at home, try to do something that might help your wife sometimes, instead of always just doing your own little self-centered plans.

Also, in a more general sense, let other people have their way sometimes.

This is only loosely related, but this tool reminded me: There was one idea I had which kept me from getting so annoyed with people (and, I think the less annoyed we are, the more sober we are). What was it? That everyone is crazy, in one respect. There's the guy that has so much dandruff it's disgusting. So, that's his one free ticket. There's another guy who davens out loud and is really annoying--so that's his one free ticket. I have found that people (especially the people I only know on a very superficial level) only have one really annoying thing that stick out. If I grant them that, I can usually be much more at peace with them.

--Elyah

Great idea, Elyah.

I just want to point out that I am not the guy with the dandruff or the loud voice who annoys Elyah.

Blind wrote on 09 May 2012 06:28:

but we're gonna find both of them and teach 'em a lesson!
ain't that right BB?

BTW, is Meron getting crowded yet?

Here's a summary of the most recent section:

Friendships
139. Work with another SA (or GYE person)
140. Stick with the winners
141. Stay in the present
142. What you think and what you feel and what you do...
143. Put the welfare of others first

And here's the next section:

Service
144. How are you?

Call 2 newcomers (a day, or a week) and ask them how they're doing. Also, you can drop a PM to someone on the forum just to say "Hi, how are you?"

Dovinisrael on this forum, once upon a time, wrote up this really psychedellic story about someone's brain being taken over by mutant insects or something. It was a mashal (and not so far from the nimshal) about our addiction. Dovinisrael also happens to specialize in puns. Now, I forget how the pun worked (and I also forget most of the story, but he had some great graphics in there) but basically whenever you get caught up in thinking "HOW AM I," flip it, instead, and ask someone, "HOW ARE YOU."

--Elyah

145. How can I be of service.

You can ask this question to other people, and you can also ask it to yourself in order to change your focus to how you can be of service to other people.

--Elyah

Eye.nonymous wrote on 11 May 2012 09:45:

Are you referring to this here?

Thanks TZ,

That's it, but that's not the full story over there.

--Elyah

146. Always say "yes" to SA (or GYE) requests.

If you are asked to be of service, to be available, to be someone's accountability partner, or even just to speak with someone. It's enlightened self-interest; helping out other people in recovery is best for you, too.

--Elyah

147. Take on a service commitment.

As far as the SA groups are concerned, there are a number of official positions, such as the group secretary, treasurer, and the guy who puts out the coffee (some positions require a certain amount of sobriety). There are also unofficial positions that you can find, such as helping the guy whose job it is to set up the chairs, etc.

As far as GYE is concerned, there are also plenty of opportunities to be of service, and you can even find something that you can commit to--be the guy to post the newcomer message to newcomers, etc. Send a PM to Guard, he is likely to have some ideas.

At one point Guard was looking for people to become experts in the GYE handbook and then direct people to the right pages, because most questions people have on the forum are already answered in there (but there aren't enough people who can point this out to them).

--Elyah

148. Sponsor others.

But, you can't give something that you don't have.

On the other hand, a paradox of recovery, once you've got something to give -- if you don't give it away, you don't keep it.

Also, in a less formal sense, look for those people who are new to recovery (or new to the forum) and can really use a bit of encouragement and a helping hand. Make a point to be there for them.

149. Buddy List.

There's an SA buddy list with contacts available all around the world--find a sponsor, find a sponsee, or just find other program buddies (PM me for more details). There is also a GYE contact list which, I think, serves the same purpose (I don't have the information off-hand. Anyone want to be of service?)

--Elyah

150. Rotate out in good time.

This applies to filling a service position. Usually each position has a specified term--maybe 3 months, or 6 months. After your term is up in any given position, leave. Give someone else a chance to also be of service.

Summary time, summary time, sum, sum, summary time!

Service
144. How are you?
145. How can I be of service?
146. Always say "yes" to SA (or GYE) requests
147. Take on a service commitment
148. Sponsor others
149. Buddy list
150. Rotate out in good time

--Elyah

Thanx for the summary I was already getting mixed up!!

JJ