iwannalivereal wrote on 30 Jul 2024 18:15:

Gee thanks...as if we could hear him outside Lakewood...

proudyungerman wrote on 31 Jul 2024 00:04:

Go put that in the Grouchery . No-one cares

redfaced wrote on 31 Jul 2024 00:52:

If I'll get a haskama from you for that grouch, I absolutely will!
Just let me know...

amevakesh wrote on 30 Jul 2024 23:54:

He can speak. Just keep him away from the grill. We don't want any magical meats

Sometimes one-on-one GYE meetings are crashed by the sudden appearance of people who were supposed to be THOUSANDS of miles away….

Sometimes the speaker you thought you had never met before was actually a close friend, just you never knew his face …

Sometimes the guy saying the Shiur Kalali, or sitting in the front of the room, could really use a hug too, but never can get one because those who know his face can’t know of his pain and struggles….  

Sometimes the bartender is actually Aberforth, and no one ever knew! 

You just never know…

Splendid Secrets. Mischief Managed!

Lichaim!

Maybe I should put up a sign in the Mir:
"Shabbaton for the guys that saw the sign but we too shy to call.
Separate seating"

I always loved poetry, but I never was able to compose it. I was envious of those that could, so I decided a few weeks ago to try to write one. Some have the ability to just sit down for a few minutes or an hour and viola they churn out beautiful stuff. I don’t have that ability, and it took a few weeks. Some of it mirrors my own journey, but not all. Enjoy.

Journey of a Soul

A soul descends from way on high, pristine and white as snow
Shining, glistening, sparkling too, an ethereal glow

Accompanying angles, escort him as they guide him
“Make sure to stay on top your boat, stay dry don’t try to swim

The world’s a churning ocean, filled with waves that overthrow
Waves that knock you off your feet, that will not let you grow

You were born to spread your light, to illuminate and shine
The radiance that’s in your soul, that spark from the divine” 

Stamped amidst clear wailing cries, a holy sign conceived
Spilled blood, a covenant is sealed, a firm bond is achieved 

The little boy grows up so quick, at quite a rapid pace
Innocence and purity, reflects upon his face

The years fly by and with them come, a sense of adventure
Curious and interest, in a world filled with allure

Softly soothing voices, whispers calling that entice
Your life is oh so boring, let’s add a little spice

We’ll make you feel good they say, come look at what we’ve got
Check out our goods, don’t think too much, and get them while they’re hot

Here a sneak peek, there a quick look, glances that excite
What starts out as a nibble, becomes a full fledged bite

Sugar sweet illusions, that leave sickness in their wake
Revulsion and hypocrisy, a yucky stomach ache 

So bewildered and befuddled, utterly confused,
A soul ensnared, constrained by filth, literally abused

Assaulted persistently, at home and in the streets
Tormented by former delights, once considered treats

They’re cackling so mirthlessly, with evil glinting eyes
Those evil dancing demons, gloating, touting, empty lies

A scream so loud of silence, a sad heart - rending cry
“Rip me not asunder G-d, do not let me die

That death that they call “living”, Oh what do they know
All they want to have is fun, while I so want to grow”

He deeply longs and pines for more, a strong intense desire
Yearning deeply languishing, to join with something higher

The need to cleanse his soul is great, borne of desperation
“I can’t continue on this road, it leads to devastation”

He gropes around in darkness, trying hard to find a light
He chances upon GYE, a life infusing site

It gives him hope and brand new goals, a sense of purpose, clear
Obstacles badges of pride, that he does proudly wear

Embarking on a long journey, fraught with an unknown fate
A journey without an endpoint, and no specific date

Hurdles he begins to clear, navigating a maze
Fighting through adversity, his soul is set ablaze

Scaling heights, tall mountain peaks, that reach up to the sky
Step by step, tenaciously, climbing ever so high

But then he grows complacent, standing still on a plateau 
A slip, a tumble then a fall, from great heights down below

Hot flashes of searing pain, his broken heart so whole
Regret and guilt and hopelessness, engulf his weary soul

Alas it is not meant to be, my hopes, my shattered dreams
Am I doomed forever to fail, or so it only seems

“Reach out reach out” he reads online, “you need not be alone
Friends out there are waiting, don’t wait, pick up the phone

Friends that care, will hold your hand, and give you some advice
They’ll help you out in times of need, at any given price

You’ll march right on together, side by side in unity
When someone falls, he’s lifted up, by friends of GYE”

“How can I call and take the plunge, won’t everyone find out
I’ll be exposed for all to see”, his heart so filled with doubt

“Do it, do it, get it done, just call, you won’t regret”
Takes a breath with shaking hands, breaks in to a cold sweat

Each jingle of the ringing phone, his heart does skip a beat
Until a wise and calming voice, picks up with a warm greet

He hears him out, and calms him down, and gives him precious time
Ideas merged with sound advice, a shift in paradigm

“The journey that you’re traveling, it has no twist and turn
It’s passage to your own self heart, that you’re looking to earn

Not high peaks, and not far seas, no supernatural feat
Drilling a needle breadth wide hole, will make your heart complete

Dig deeper and peel away, layers of filth and grime
Mine the diamond found inside, its brilliance so sublime”

His work cut out, he wastes no time, soul searching deep inside
Probing his mind’s complexities, revealing truths so wide

And like the sun that breaks the dawn, dispelling dark of night 
The radiance bursts forth to shine, with splendor and with might

“To all the lights who chose to dim, when I was in the dark
Thank you so for forcing me, to light up my own spark

Chains unfettered, free to soar, I now can spread my wings
That old and musty crusty heart, replaced by one that sings

There still are ups and downs you see, life ain’t peaches and cream
But now I live the life I love, with great friends on my team

Aspiring toward greatness, to serve Him is my aim
When one day after many years, in heaven they’ll proclaim

A soul’s returning way back high, pristine and white as snow
Shining brighter than before, an ethereal glow”

Reading this warmed my soul and brought me to tears,
For I too walked aimlessly about for oh so many years.
That feeling of loneliness, desperation, I thought it was for perpetuity,
A Divine decree from on High, I'm doomed to suffer and fall for eternity.

GYE brought inspiration and advice, the knowledge priceless,
that in me, yes me, lay the power to break free from all this madness.
It brought forth to me the desire to be Amevakesh and connect with the one so sweet,
To behold the shining smile and heart so grand, conversation such a treat.

Go on in your journey and mission bringing others back,
So they no longer feel the crushing guilt and that Kedusha they lack.
Together with the other mentors here you'll be Zoche to produce your share,
In pushing Hashem to quickly bring, משיח צדקינו here!!!

With a heart overflowing with love, friendship, and respect,

Muttel 
  

Wow.
Words really ruin the moment, but you tugged at my heartstrings.
If I wouldn't be in the BM right now, I'd cry.

Not stam beautiful! 

Shalom! 

Here is a link to a Google Document for a list of things that I put together that have helped me. 
Feel free to share this with as many people as you like! This way, it will help you to atone for some of your past lapses if needed! 
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HFNqsFwHuboP88UJBQPB1Xa71o1qX8E8qdhMwLu3Egg/edit?usp=sharing

Im' Yirtze Hashem it will help you too!

I have a unique personal challenge that over the month and a half gotten much harder to deal with. Things came to head yesterday, when it threatened to implode on me. Through the skill, time, patience, efforts (and eloquence) of one of my dear Rabbeim/Chaveirim on this site, he gave me over 2 hours of his time and heart to change a potential crisis in to a learning experience. I have no words, just endless gratitude.

Forever grateful,

Amevakesh

amevakesh wrote on 16 Aug 2024 15:11:

The invaluable friendships that GYE forms!!!

Hatzlacha rabba! 

So, after a long summer that I worked my tail off, I finally have some time to breathe. As long as I was busy, it was tough, there were challenges, but in terms of lusting and שמירת העינים, I did pretty well. No second looks, no watching anything bad, I even managed to stay away from anything borderline. Finally, I have a week of a real vacation where I can just relax a little and WHAM, I'm getting killed by the fantasy bug. It happens specifically when I sit down to learn. I didn't look at anything I shouldn't, in fact recently I managed to avoid a few really tempting second looks., but when I sit down to learn, my mind starts wandering places that I haven't been to in over a year. I reached out to a few of the good people here, and received Chizuk, (much appreciated) but it's not getting any better. This morning when I was learning, I came close to a disaster.  I'm trying to hold on tight until the Zman starts hopefully then the urges will dissipate. I guess there's an upside to life's pressures. Onward.