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bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY!
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TOPIC: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 1211 Views

bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 16 Jun 2020 18:45 #351315

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Couldnt hold back looking, could you, eh?
Figured if i dont have content, at least i could make up for it with controversy (before they expell me to the land of the silenced banned ones, that is )
Now i really didnt know if this should be placed here, or in "just having fun'' or in a totally new subject called ''trouble''-we miss you, by the way!)
There are those (usually big wise elders type men, that will denounce this and say it doesnt belong here at all-this is the way to get them to not comment at all, btw.)
Oh right! I almost forgot what i wanted to say!
There was a recording sent out recently by a prominent member of gye. He doesnt need my haskamah, but i want this to be taken in context that he is quite an impressive individual, and even i fargin him that. (dont know what fargin is?! where were you raised! these boys nowadays...tsk, tsk...)
That being said something he said struck a cord(s) in me and i posted about it a while back, but unfortunately i am having trouble (hint) locating the old post. out with the old, and on with the new, i say!
i am not addressing the recordings message, which was almost as long as his posts (c'mon, i get at least 2 points for that one) and almost all that he said sounded great and from lots of expirience (the exp. part is def. true.)
Now im uninterested about infering and analyzing his words like a rishon and please dont correct me on that. my point is there was a message given over that to say every non jew (ish lady) is consumed with the desire for men to obsess over her is simply not true and its just a ploy of guys that want to think like that because they really want to continue viewing them as objects, and not the human beings with thier own busy lives that they are.
before i rant, (didnt i do that already?) I want to express a little difficulty with posting on a forum in general, and gye in particular. no two minds think alike. your words will be misconstrued and pliable like spaghetti before you have time to edit it. gye is a place that many many types frequent and serves them in-you got it-many different ways.
For the fellow that is addicted-sorry i dont really relate (im using the word really for a reason) but to the jew that wants to and is basically doing the will of Hashem yet he has some lusting issues, gye can be a great source of chizzuk for him. i know this from exp. 
And I am talking to fellows in the latter category.
when we talk about non jewish society it comes to mind an interview of a respected news station anchor and a religious activist (And a rabbi-to complete the joke) 
Here is the substance of the conversation (this hapened around 2 years ago) 
Respected News Guy Dude Face (RNGDF): Say, Religiou Activist (RA) Porn is really something wrong? I mean, whats absolutely WRONG about it? 
RA: Oh its definetly immoral and-
RNGDF: Immoral? But wouldnt you agree thats just a religious issue...?
RA: Sure its wrong from a religious point, but i think many would agree that it destroys relationships and marriages and therefore is wrong even from a theoretical point of view
RNGDF: Really? I dont think you can label it wrong outside of religion...

i heard from an adom gadol that when a certain state legalized same sex marriage they really assumed the status of sodom but perhaps we didnt see no fire and brimstone cuz maybe there are 50 righteous people in the city...
There are 2 issues here.
1. does the non jewish society think and busy themselves with sex and specifically znus?
2. when a jew thinks FEH! What a prutzah etc. is he really a sick pervert that wants to continue objectify women?
Have we honestly lost our logical minds?! society sells sex at every corner,  toevah tachas kol eitz vzayis raanan, teenagers with urges mingle with mixed gender classes and are even encouraged to have girlfriends and take them to the prom etc whatever...you think it makes sence that these people are not much more prone twords free and active promiscuity, znus, and yes-even wanting men to obsess over them???? (even if not ALL its def. something to suspect! you practicaly cant find a good book or movie today that doesnt have-yup-indecent matireal in it because thats what SELLS! CUZ THATS WHAT THE NON JEWISH SOCIETY ENCOURAGES AND WANTS! 
I am not saying theres anything objectively wrong with them as people or judging them and of course there is a divine plan for them in this world.
And its true that there are fellows who think that every non jewish lady wants men to obsess etc. for a bad reason.
But dont paint ALL the people with a broad brush and say that EVERY guy that says FEH! is really a sick pervert! There are those that this helps for. And if you cannot see the difference between the desire for this and chazzer-which most FFBs dont really have a desire, then shalom to you. the comparision is absolutely ridiculous. Regarding this, for some people FEH! TUMAH! helps alot more than ''Hashem please help sheniqua''!
Guys that think like that want to continue to objectify women?! guys?! like ALL guys?!
Good heavens you dont KNOW THAT, you never will KNOW THAT, and you have no proof that there are not many who really feel that way- for a good reason! 
The problem with using superlatives is that they are almost always wrong, never true, and lol-im using superlatives but over here its proper! 
 there are many types and stripes on gye I respect them all in terms of whatever works for them. some ppl pray for the lady and some say feh! i hear both and i dont discredit either.
I, and no one, has any right or real reason to.
all being said and done i have tremendous respect for the fellow recorded and this is just a good natured discussion even if the tone is heated. (hes a toughie, and he can take it, too) But for ''guys'' like me, i think this message is crucial-and if it doesnt work for you-thats fine too! thats why i put this thread in ''what works for me!''
peace out.
  
Last Edit: 16 Jun 2020 19:29 by higher.

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 16 Jun 2020 20:08 #351322

  • Meyer M.
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I don’t think this is controversial, I think this is the truth. I decided to take the plunge in answering some SSA forums even though I had abstained from it till now, the responses were a little bit ridiculous, completely trashing me for saying lies, they painted everyone with a big fat 1 foot long paint brush with labels and said clearly there is something wrong with me. I’m sorry, I suffered with SSA for 4 years and now I haven’t had a single SSA though in the last two months? Clearly it MUST be me....I don’t know what’s going on here but I feel the SSA forums need to be moderated more, there are some sketchy people on there that I would try to help out of their predicament. One guy told me because I like women but I would hang out with friends (males obviously), there’s something wrong with me, I’m sorry say what? Because I like a woman I can no longer hang out with a man??................?

But I do remember me acting in this way when I had SSA (thoughts), I firmly believe it is a twisted version of lust because the man wants a relationship with another man socially and does not have the self-esteem to do so. They need to feel valued and worth’ful’.

please note, that in my posts I stated that it was my personal experience and my opinion. NOT my “expert” opinion (I am not a expert, please do not brand my opinion as one)

Edit: This was a long rant when I got frustrated with some of the forums and used this as a way to let off steam while simultaneously agreeing with higher's point
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake
Last Edit: 17 Jun 2020 12:36 by Meyer M..

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 16 Jun 2020 20:10 #351323

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Also note: we are talking about SSA thoughts, NOT actually getting graphic with another (sheesh I have to explain everything down to a ‘i’ and the ‘t’)

My point is: everyone’s opinion is their opinion and you have every right to disagree
but like higher said there is no reason for labels and painting everyone with one paintbrush 
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake
Last Edit: 16 Jun 2020 20:13 by Meyer M..

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 16 Jun 2020 21:48 #351335

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higher wrote on 16 Jun 2020 18:45:
Couldnt hold back looking, could you, eh?
Figured if i dont have content, at least i could make up for it with controversy (before they expell me to the land of the silenced banned ones, that is )
Now i really didnt know if this should be placed here, or in "just having fun'' or in a totally new subject called ''trouble''-we miss you, by the way!)
There are those (usually big wise elders type men, that will denounce this and say it doesnt belong here at all-this is the way to get them to not comment at all, btw.)
Oh right! I almost forgot what i wanted to say!
There was a recording sent out recently by a prominent member of gye. He doesnt need my haskamah, but i want this to be taken in context that he is quite an impressive individual, and even i fargin him that. (dont know what fargin is?! where were you raised! these boys nowadays...tsk, tsk...)
That being said something he said struck a cord(s) in me and i posted about it a while back, but unfortunately i am having trouble (hint) locating the old post. out with the old, and on with the new, i say!
i am not addressing the recordings message, which was almost as long as his posts (c'mon, i get at least 2 points for that one) and almost all that he said sounded great and from lots of expirience (the exp. part is def. true.)
Now im uninterested about infering and analyzing his words like a rishon and please dont correct me on that. my point is there was a message given over that to say every non jew (ish lady) is consumed with the desire for men to obsess over her is simply not true and its just a ploy of guys that want to think like that because they really want to continue viewing them as objects, and not the human beings with thier own busy lives that they are.
before i rant, (didnt i do that already?) I want to express a little difficulty with posting on a forum in general, and gye in particular. no two minds think alike. your words will be misconstrued and pliable like spaghetti before you have time to edit it. gye is a place that many many types frequent and serves them in-you got it-many different ways.
For the fellow that is addicted-sorry i dont really relate (im using the word really for a reason) but to the jew that wants to and is basically doing the will of Hashem yet he has some lusting issues, gye can be a great source of chizzuk for him. i know this from exp. 
And I am talking to fellows in the latter category.
when we talk about non jewish society it comes to mind an interview of a respected news station anchor and a religious activist (And a rabbi-to complete the joke) 
Here is the substance of the conversation (this hapened around 2 years ago) 
Respected News Guy Dude Face (RNGDF): Say, Religiou Activist (RA) Porn is really something wrong? I mean, whats absolutely WRONG about it? 
RA: Oh its definetly immoral and-
RNGDF: Immoral? But wouldnt you agree thats just a religious issue...?
RA: Sure its wrong from a religious point, but i think many would agree that it destroys relationships and marriages and therefore is wrong even from a theoretical point of view
RNGDF: Really? I dont think you can label it wrong outside of religion...

i heard from an adom gadol that when a certain state legalized same sex marriage they really assumed the status of sodom but perhaps we didnt see no fire and brimstone cuz maybe there are 50 righteous people in the city...
There are 2 issues here.
1. does the non jewish society think and busy themselves with sex and specifically znus?
2. when a jew thinks FEH! What a prutzah etc. is he really a sick pervert that wants to continue objectify women?
Have we honestly lost our logical minds?! society sells sex at every corner,  toevah tachas kol eitz vzayis raanan, teenagers with urges mingle with mixed gender classes and are even encouraged to have girlfriends and take them to the prom etc whatever...you think it makes sence that these people are not much more prone twords free and active promiscuity, znus, and yes-even wanting men to obsess over them???? (even if not ALL its def. something to suspect! you practicaly cant find a good book or movie today that doesnt have-yup-indecent matireal in it because thats what SELLS! CUZ THATS WHAT THE NON JEWISH SOCIETY ENCOURAGES AND WANTS! 
I am not saying theres anything objectively wrong with them as people or judging them and of course there is a divine plan for them in this world.
And its true that there are fellows who think that every non jewish lady wants men to obsess etc. for a bad reason.
But dont paint ALL the people with a broad brush and say that EVERY guy that says FEH! is really a sick pervert! There are those that this helps for. And if you cannot see the difference between the desire for this and chazzer-which most FFBs dont really have a desire, then shalom to you. the comparision is absolutely ridiculous. Regarding this, for some people FEH! TUMAH! helps alot more than ''Hashem please help sheniqua''!
Guys that think like that want to continue to objectify women?! guys?! like ALL guys?!
Good heavens you dont KNOW THAT, you never will KNOW THAT, and you have no proof that there are not many who really feel that way- for a good reason! 
The problem with using superlatives is that they are almost always wrong, never true, and lol-im using superlatives but over here its proper! 
 there are many types and stripes on gye I respect them all in terms of whatever works for them. some ppl pray for the lady and some say feh! i hear both and i dont discredit either.
I, and no one, has any right or real reason to.
all being said and done i have tremendous respect for the fellow recorded and this is just a good natured discussion even if the tone is heated. (hes a toughie, and he can take it, too) But for ''guys'' like me, i think this message is crucial-and if it doesnt work for you-thats fine too! thats why i put this thread in ''what works for me!''
peace out.
  

im dont think this is controversal at all and i think everyone agrees to you !like  it says shtika kiho'da'ah-remaining silent is equivalent to agreeing and since no one posted back, thats a big shtika-agreement!welcome back!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post 

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 16 Jun 2020 22:10 #351338

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Higher, your comments are very true. Unfortunately the society around us has become decadent. Even at government level, the Judeo-Christian attitudes of the founding fathers of the USA are being scorned. Liberalism has become a "religion" with a clear agenda of turning 21st century Western Culture into a replica of Greek culture which was a most hedonistic society. That being said, there are many moral and upright Americans who abhor this matzav as much as we do. 

Regarding those who say "feh", I would say the following. There sadly are individuals who always are the ones who "happen to notice" the latest pritzus trends etc. Unfortunately, many of those fellows are in need of help, being hyper-focused on sex themselves. They "enjoy" being on the forefront of inyanei kedusha, probably because they get aroused by it. I state this after having spoken to some such fellows that BH got help and got out of this masquerade. (One was actually a chosson rebbi - imagine his turmoil, the feelings of hypocrisy were destroying him).The professionals they used first demand was -"You may not advise chassanim, you may not go to rabbanim with the latest clothing issues, you may not get involved in shalom bayis issues, etc". These guys are not reshaim, they are cholim.

However there are just as many or more, healthy and normal individuals, who do not notice "everything", but from time to time come across something repulsive (nowadays it's almost impossible for this not to happen). When they say "feh!", they mean it! They are disgusted with the fact that they are raising a family of sweet kids that have to witness this cesspool. 

Let's all daven that Hashem shower a ruach tahara on the world...…..A world of no more "feh"s…...
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 16 Jun 2020 23:09 #351342

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sleepy wrote on 16 Jun 2020 21:48:

higher wrote on 16 Jun 2020 18:45:
Couldnt hold back looking, could you, eh?
Figured if i dont have content, at least i could make up for it with controversy (before they expell me to the land of the silenced banned ones, that is )
Now i really didnt know if this should be placed here, or in "just having fun'' or in a totally new subject called ''trouble''-we miss you, by the way!)
There are those (usually big wise elders type men, that will denounce this and say it doesnt belong here at all-this is the way to get them to not comment at all, btw.)
Oh right! I almost forgot what i wanted to say!
There was a recording sent out recently by a prominent member of gye. He doesnt need my haskamah, but i want this to be taken in context that he is quite an impressive individual, and even i fargin him that. (dont know what fargin is?! where were you raised! these boys nowadays...tsk, tsk...)
That being said something he said struck a cord(s) in me and i posted about it a while back, but unfortunately i am having trouble (hint) locating the old post. out with the old, and on with the new, i say!
i am not addressing the recordings message, which was almost as long as his posts (c'mon, i get at least 2 points for that one) and almost all that he said sounded great and from lots of expirience (the exp. part is def. true.)
Now im uninterested about infering and analyzing his words like a rishon and please dont correct me on that. my point is there was a message given over that to say every non jew (ish lady) is consumed with the desire for men to obsess over her is simply not true and its just a ploy of guys that want to think like that because they really want to continue viewing them as objects, and not the human beings with thier own busy lives that they are.
before i rant, (didnt i do that already?) I want to express a little difficulty with posting on a forum in general, and gye in particular. no two minds think alike. your words will be misconstrued and pliable like spaghetti before you have time to edit it. gye is a place that many many types frequent and serves them in-you got it-many different ways.
For the fellow that is addicted-sorry i dont really relate (im using the word really for a reason) but to the jew that wants to and is basically doing the will of Hashem yet he has some lusting issues, gye can be a great source of chizzuk for him. i know this from exp. 
And I am talking to fellows in the latter category.
when we talk about non jewish society it comes to mind an interview of a respected news station anchor and a religious activist (And a rabbi-to complete the joke) 
Here is the substance of the conversation (this hapened around 2 years ago) 
Respected News Guy Dude Face (RNGDF): Say, Religiou Activist (RA) Porn is really something wrong? I mean, whats absolutely WRONG about it? 
RA: Oh its definetly immoral and-
RNGDF: Immoral? But wouldnt you agree thats just a religious issue...?
RA: Sure its wrong from a religious point, but i think many would agree that it destroys relationships and marriages and therefore is wrong even from a theoretical point of view
RNGDF: Really? I dont think you can label it wrong outside of religion...

i heard from an adom gadol that when a certain state legalized same sex marriage they really assumed the status of sodom but perhaps we didnt see no fire and brimstone cuz maybe there are 50 righteous people in the city...
There are 2 issues here.
1. does the non jewish society think and busy themselves with sex and specifically znus?
2. when a jew thinks FEH! What a prutzah etc. is he really a sick pervert that wants to continue objectify women?
Have we honestly lost our logical minds?! society sells sex at every corner,  toevah tachas kol eitz vzayis raanan, teenagers with urges mingle with mixed gender classes and are even encouraged to have girlfriends and take them to the prom etc whatever...you think it makes sence that these people are not much more prone twords free and active promiscuity, znus, and yes-even wanting men to obsess over them???? (even if not ALL its def. something to suspect! you practicaly cant find a good book or movie today that doesnt have-yup-indecent matireal in it because thats what SELLS! CUZ THATS WHAT THE NON JEWISH SOCIETY ENCOURAGES AND WANTS! 
I am not saying theres anything objectively wrong with them as people or judging them and of course there is a divine plan for them in this world.
And its true that there are fellows who think that every non jewish lady wants men to obsess etc. for a bad reason.
But dont paint ALL the people with a broad brush and say that EVERY guy that says FEH! is really a sick pervert! There are those that this helps for. And if you cannot see the difference between the desire for this and chazzer-which most FFBs dont really have a desire, then shalom to you. the comparision is absolutely ridiculous. Regarding this, for some people FEH! TUMAH! helps alot more than ''Hashem please help sheniqua''!
Guys that think like that want to continue to objectify women?! guys?! like ALL guys?!
Good heavens you dont KNOW THAT, you never will KNOW THAT, and you have no proof that there are not many who really feel that way- for a good reason! 
The problem with using superlatives is that they are almost always wrong, never true, and lol-im using superlatives but over here its proper! 
 there are many types and stripes on gye I respect them all in terms of whatever works for them. some ppl pray for the lady and some say feh! i hear both and i dont discredit either.
I, and no one, has any right or real reason to.
all being said and done i have tremendous respect for the fellow recorded and this is just a good natured discussion even if the tone is heated. (hes a toughie, and he can take it, too) But for ''guys'' like me, i think this message is crucial-and if it doesnt work for you-thats fine too! thats why i put this thread in ''what works for me!''
peace out.
  

im dont think this is controversal at all and i think everyone agrees to you !like  it says shtika kiho'da'ah-remaining silent is equivalent to agreeing and since no one posted back, thats a big shtika-agreement!welcome back!

no one is taking the bait on that, mate.
but this isnt about starting a fight. plenty of that going on now though, but over here we dont even have the cops, save the mods...
This is about ''down with the paintbrush''! and ALL lives (even those that are different) MATTER!
Seriously though, I myself sometimes look at reality,people,situations through such a myopic I project from my own experience and like minded people that it almost seems as if other personalities, other types, another opinion, derech etc. ...just doesnt exist. And I think its appropriate to call it out when that happens on a public platform. I remember (although its hazy) that this sort of topic came up before and i called out someone for saying something like most of people protesting in meah shearim for tznius have big kedusha issues themselves and that theres a direct connection. 
My response?
''Uh, you took a survey''?
 How do you know that?
Maybe most ARE sincere? 
OMG is it possible that despite your experience other people are different??
I welcome anyone who believes that i am mistaken in my message to speak up.
Last Edit: 17 Jun 2020 04:35 by higher.

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 16 Jun 2020 23:14 #351343

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 16 Jun 2020 22:10:
Higher, your comments are very true. Unfortunately the society around us has become decadent. Even at government level, the Judeo-Christian attitudes of the founding fathers of the USA are being scorned. Liberalism has become a "religion" with a clear agenda of turning 21st century Western Culture into a replica of Greek culture which was a most hedonistic society. That being said, there are many moral and upright Americans who abhor this matzav as much as we do. 

Regarding those who say "feh", I would say the following. There sadly are individuals who always are the ones who "happen to notice" the latest pritzus trends etc. Unfortunately, many of those fellows are in need of help, being hyper-focused on sex themselves. They "enjoy" being on the forefront of inyanei kedusha, probably because they get aroused by it. I state this after having spoken to some such fellows that BH got help and got out of this masquerade. (One was actually a chosson rebbi - imagine his turmoil, the feelings of hypocrisy were destroying him).The professionals they used first demand was -"You may not advise chassanim, you may not go to rabbanim with the latest clothing issues, you may not get involved in shalom bayis issues, etc". These guys are not reshaim, they are cholim.

However there are just as many or more, healthy and normal individuals, who do not notice "everything", but from time to time come across something repulsive (nowadays it's almost impossible for this not to happen). When they say "feh!", they mean it! They are disgusted with the fact that they are raising a family of sweet kids that have to witness this cesspool. 

Let's all daven that Hashem shower a ruach tahara on the world...…..A world of no more "feh"s…...

Thank you for your calm and cool understanding HHM.
Someone please take a screenshot of HHM's post and set it up as a model how one should give advice on gye. 
see the balance? some like this, sick....some not like that....healthy.
no broad strokes, no generalizing and no telling anyone, if you say ''feh''!, must be your just a pervert. 
encore!

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 17 Jun 2020 00:06 #351345

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 16 Jun 2020 22:10:
Higher, your comments are very true. Unfortunately the society around us has become decadent. Even at government level, the Judeo-Christian attitudes of the founding fathers of the USA are being scorned. Liberalism has become a "religion" with a clear agenda of turning 21st century Western Culture into a replica of Greek culture which was a most hedonistic society. That being said, there are many moral and upright Americans who abhor this matzav as much as we do. 

Regarding those who say "feh", I would say the following. There sadly are individuals who always are the ones who "happen to notice" the latest pritzus trends etc. Unfortunately, many of those fellows are in need of help, being hyper-focused on sex themselves. They "enjoy" being on the forefront of inyanei kedusha, probably because they get aroused by it. I state this after having spoken to some such fellows that BH got help and got out of this masquerade. (One was actually a chosson rebbi - imagine his turmoil, the feelings of hypocrisy were destroying him).The professionals they used first demand was -"You may not advise chassanim, you may not go to rabbanim with the latest clothing issues, you may not get involved in shalom bayis issues, etc". These guys are not reshaim, they are cholim.

However there are just as many or more, healthy and normal individuals, who do not notice "everything", but from time to time come across something repulsive (nowadays it's almost impossible for this not to happen). When they say "feh!", they mean it! They are disgusted with the fact that they are raising a family of sweet kids that have to witness this cesspool. 

Let's all daven that Hashem shower a ruach tahara on the world...…..A world of no more "feh"s…...

Amen!
HHM wrote:
"There sadly are individuals who always are the ones who "happen to notice" the latest pritzus trends etc. Unfortunately, many of those fellows are in need of help, being hyper-focused on sex themselves. They "enjoy" being on the forefront of inyanei kedusha, probably because they get aroused by it.​"
there are even guys on the Holy  gye  who are here because they get "a kick out of it" i at one point suspected myself of that [it was even mentioned  to me by one of the  important people here] but after some soul searching i feel that is not the case , if anyone feels that they have ways of testing ones self why they are REALLY here , i would appreciate it
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post 
Last Edit: 17 Jun 2020 00:13 by sleepy.

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 17 Jun 2020 00:42 #351347

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sleepy wrote on 17 Jun 2020 00:06:

Hashem Help Me wrote on 16 Jun 2020 22:10:
Higher, your comments are very true. Unfortunately the society around us has become decadent. Even at government level, the Judeo-Christian attitudes of the founding fathers of the USA are being scorned. Liberalism has become a "religion" with a clear agenda of turning 21st century Western Culture into a replica of Greek culture which was a most hedonistic society. That being said, there are many moral and upright Americans who abhor this matzav as much as we do. 

Regarding those who say "feh", I would say the following. There sadly are individuals who always are the ones who "happen to notice" the latest pritzus trends etc. Unfortunately, many of those fellows are in need of help, being hyper-focused on sex themselves. They "enjoy" being on the forefront of inyanei kedusha, probably because they get aroused by it. I state this after having spoken to some such fellows that BH got help and got out of this masquerade. (One was actually a chosson rebbi - imagine his turmoil, the feelings of hypocrisy were destroying him).The professionals they used first demand was -"You may not advise chassanim, you may not go to rabbanim with the latest clothing issues, you may not get involved in shalom bayis issues, etc". These guys are not reshaim, they are cholim.

However there are just as many or more, healthy and normal individuals, who do not notice "everything", but from time to time come across something repulsive (nowadays it's almost impossible for this not to happen). When they say "feh!", they mean it! They are disgusted with the fact that they are raising a family of sweet kids that have to witness this cesspool. 

Let's all daven that Hashem shower a ruach tahara on the world...…..A world of no more "feh"s…...

Amen!
HHM wrote:
"There sadly are individuals who always are the ones who "happen to notice" the latest pritzus trends etc. Unfortunately, many of those fellows are in need of help, being hyper-focused on sex themselves. They "enjoy" being on the forefront of inyanei kedusha, probably because they get aroused by it.​"
there are even guys on the Holy  gye  who are here because they get "a kick out of it" i at one point suspected myself of that [it was even mentioned  to me by one of the  important people here] but after some soul searching i feel that is not the case , if anyone feels that they have ways of testing ones self why they are REALLY here , i would appreciate it

Sleepy is a full blown, no holes barred, absolute riot.

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 17 Jun 2020 01:34 #351351

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and thats when im sleepy, imagine if i wasnt sleepy.
but to tell you the truth , i think my question is a valid question and maybe even an  important one.
why are we here on gye ?
im sure the new members are definitly looking for help , comradeship, knowing maybe for the first time in their lives that they are not the only one struggling,so many erliche yidden have this secret, and they are forging on with Torah, Mitzvos , getting help from all venues available whatever they may be, but there are those guys who have been on for a while  , and still struggling ,and being on gye has changed their lives for the better, the handbook, oh what a tool ! the comradeship, so many other tools.but on the other hand ,maybe , maybe there is some lust involved , im really sorry to bring up that point. 
i feel that maybe  by me yes , but i really think not.i feel i need gye to see that im not alone .so many  people are trying, falling, and getting up again.amazing ,truly amazing !and then eventually they they from their falls and struggles are able to share insights in their situations , enlightening points!i get a chizuk.
to be honest what makes me feel that i am here with a good intention is that i cant read every post sometimes too triggering, and if i was here for a not so pure reason i would gobble every post up , you can argue on that point.
now im not saying that if there is someone  is  here with getting a kick out of the website ,they shouldnt be here , because maybe  eventualy when they read the special yidden here who expres such pain in being in their situation , the reader will say ,hey , why not me too , and eventually he will be shlepped to a shtark inspiration to be clean , and fight the lust that may have been instrumental in bringing him here in the first place. whatever it is hatzlacha to all members here on gye !
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post 

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 17 Jun 2020 01:40 #351352

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sorry , above post needs a little editing, i hope to get around to it. 
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post 

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 17 Jun 2020 03:57 #351360

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I was respectfuly approached by someone on gye who pointed out that i am painting the fellow who recorded an audio message for gye in a negative light. 
 I was reminded that this fellow is an incredible person and is very dedicated to helping others and is successful as well.
I apologize to anyone who took my previous posts that way. 
I actually was careful to write how much i respect the he-who-must-not-be-named individual and this is nothing personal. I just disagree sharply with the way he presented one of his points, and i feel it is fair to debate it, even strongly. (perhaps the way i spoke about the ''chazzer parable was too rough, but i dont think so.) This topic is not just important to me, nor to the ppl that responded, but to many who did not. 
and to be clear the he-who-must-not be-named doesnt gave a @#$% what i think or say about him anyway.
If anyone here has a different agenda thats thier issue. 
And if anyone still has a problem with my posts i am ready and willing to listen.
Last Edit: 17 Jun 2020 03:58 by higher.

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 17 Jun 2020 04:53 #351367

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After checking in with the gye member who private chatted me again, it was pointed out that despite my reasoning i should consider using a lighter and not such an aggressive tone. It may create bad vibes.
I have to think about that.
I will say that after thinking about it some more, i believe i responded in my sharp tone because i personally was spoken to several times by individuals-who are well meaning and perhaps tzaddikim-in a way that they know what they are talking about and the heck with your (my) opinion. They spoke as if what they are saying is fact and its just nebach those that dont follow thier advice. I am not the only one feels like this here. and i daresay far from it. I dont think that the recorded message by voldemort (there! i said his name!) was really given in that tone but once there were superlatives and lack of recognition for another opinion i had my allergic reaction. 
I apologize to any offended parties, although i am a bit confused if anyone is truly owed an apology-but i dont want to offend anyone, regardless.
I will conclude with this. the post that HHM wrote above is gold. That is how you post and give advice in a neutral way. when you know who you are talking to-then shoot from the hip at your ''target'' audience, why not? when you are on a worldwide platform-i think that more caution and sensitivity for differing opinions and where people are holding is necessary. 
my take, anyway.

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 17 Jun 2020 05:03 #351368

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whaaat?!that guy was painted in not a good light ?! i was wondering(due to highers nice description of him) who is this chashuve  guy who made that audio, i still dont know.
if its because a difference of opinion was stated , thats what  paints the guy into a bad person?! are you crazy?!puleeze, i have no idea who the speaker is, but dont make a yoshka out of him by shutting up all minds that think differently , im sure if this chashuva person who made the audio knew about highers point he would prevent anyone from speaking out against  the post.
im sure he is not as narrow minded as the protester is.​
thank you for allowing me to vent.
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post 

Re: bein yisroel l'amim-WARNING! CONTROVERSY! 17 Jun 2020 05:09 #351369

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im going to sleep!! i hope my account will not be blocked in the morning
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post 
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